Top 62 Assed Quotes
#1. I think he was pretty surprised to hear from me. I once called him a fat-assed phony.
J.D. Salinger
#2. If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you're a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind.
Kurt Vonnegut
#4. These new groups would act as the privatized auxiliary force Rove had been dreaming of for years. Rove told the moneymen, "People call us a vast right-wing conspiracy, but we're really a half-assed right-wing conspiracy. Now," he emphasized, "it's time to get serious.
Jane Mayer
#5. She fucking glued pancakes on my ceiling! The crazy-assed devil woman glued motherfucking pancakes on the ceiling
Belle Aurora
#6. Maybe it was the hip-sprung way she moved, high-assed and shiny, alert to surfaces, like a character in a B movie soaked in alimony and gin.
Don DeLillo
#7. I love marriage. I failed at marriage, but I'd rather go into anything with gusto and fail than go into it half-assed.
Kirstie Alley
#8. I touched his hand, carefully. Not too intimate, but not some half-assed there-there pat, either. Would he understand? Usually the thought process for a seventeen-year-old boy went girl touching me>omg>boner.
Leah Raeder
#9. Please, Decker, nothing says I-can't-be-bothered-trying like a bunch of flowers and a half-assed apology.
Kirsty Dallas
#10. I'd rather lie bare-assed naked on the sidewalk and be trampled by tourists from South Dakota than be an accountant.
J.D. Robb
#11. The hell with "love" anyway, and with every other phony, time-wasting, half-assed emotion in the world.
Richard Yates
#12. Rational people have better things to do than grant unwarranted credibility to every half-assed delusion.
PZ Myers
#13. Fucking sympathy. Give him anger. Give him fear. Give him fuzzy-assed unicorns that shit glitter and gold-- just don't give him sympathy. Sympathy sucked a giant sack.
Abbie Roads
#14. Ernest Hemingway would have died rather than have syntax. Or semicolons. I use a whole lot of half-assed semicolons; there was one of them just now; that was a semicolon after "semicolons," and another one after "now." And
Ursula K. Le Guin
#15. Don't waste your death on a half assed life
Nikki Sixx
#16. I figured maybe I had some talent as an investor ... since it seemed like I was only a half-assed entrepreneur.
Dave McClure
#17. It ain't that you get religion. Religion gets you and then milks you dry. Won't let you drink a little whiskey. Won't let you make no fat-assed girls grin and giggle. Won't let you do a damn thing except work for what you'll get in the hearafter. I live in the here and now.
Dorothy Allison
#18. I always wanted to eat with a Negro," Grandma said.
Yeah, well I always wanted to eat with a boney-assed old white woman," Lula said. "So I guess this works out good.
Janet Evanovich
#19. One thing I can't do is do anything half-assed. I want to make sure everything is right, that the song is fully realized.
Billie Joe Armstrong
#20. That evil wasn't glamorous, but just the result of ordinary half-assed badness, high school badness, given enough room, however that might happen, to become its bigger self. Bigger, with more horrible results, but never more than the cumulative weight of ordinary human baseness.
William Gibson
#21. If I were to ever have a full-fledged vocation, as opposed to a half-assed avocation, I needed to love it and, in my experience, it isn't always easy to figure out what you love.
Marisa De Los Santos
#23. The third most boring thing in the entire world is your sorry-assed past.
Chuck Palahniuk
#24. He just laughs, that deep, boisterous laugh that seems to come from the center of his soul, because Blake doesn't do anything half-assed. He laughs the way he lives his life - loud and fierce and without inhibition. He fucks that way, too.
Sarina Bowen
#25. As distasteful as it is to decline your invitation, I'm afraid that it is preferable to attending yet another half-assed weekend eating gunky canapes in that cesspool of a shack you call a beach cottage.
A.C. Kemp
#26. Kelly held up a finger. "No half-assed middle school kissing, either."
"Okay."
"I want the whole deal."
"This is starting to feel like I'm leasing a car or something."
"I'm serious, I want the Irish special."
Nick rolled his eyes and looked up at the ceiling. "Fine. Jesus.
Abigail Roux
#27. You know, it's a wonder I managed to squeeze into the room what with your giant-assed ego taking up all the space.
Samantha Young
#28. Nobody's happy. What's happy? Happiness is over when the lights come on."
The older woman poured herself a glass of sangria. "Screw that," she said quietly.
"What?"
"Screw that. Wash your mouth out. Who taught you that half-assed existential drivel?
Armistead Maupin
#29. Almost nobody's competent, Paul. It's enough to make you cry to see how bad most people are at their jobs. If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you're a one-eyed man in the kingdom of the blind.
Kurt Vonnegut
#30. There are a lot of shots in golf I can't hit, but I try to hit them anyway. The frustration is not there, because I'm still learning. But I really know how to do this. I'm not just hoping to get it where I want it ... Let the other guys do it half-assed.
Greg Maddux
#31. The world, a tired performer, offers us another half-assed season.
Jeffrey Eugenides
#32. In any group of people, no matter how hard-assed they might appear, there's always a geek.
Rachel Caine
#33. Well I don't remember exactly what I called her, but it was something along the lines of sniveling, repulsive, idiotic, backenridden, snaggletoothe, fat-assed bitch with the worst hair in Central Florida and that's saying something.
John Green
#34. Well, that's that. Goodbye cruel world. Be sure to fuck thyself on the way out, you mean-assed son of a whore.
Belle Aurora
#35. In the long term everyone traffics in foregone conclusions, and in the short term they just get drunk. This is the way it has always been. Some half-assed ambiguity masquerading as mystery is all anybody's really looking for.
Paul Neilan
#36. He's a smart-assed kid who's always sassin' people and gettin' away with it.
Casey Stengel
#37. What kind of half-assed apocalypse are they running down there?" Amos said. "Give 'em a break. It's their first.
James S.A. Corey
#38. It's a terrible thing to have my life depend on my half-assed handiwork.
Andy Weir
#39. Half-assed programming was a time-filler that, like knitting, must date to the beginning of the human experience.
Vernor Vinge
#40. If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way.
Homer
#42. Like an eagle, dude. Like a freaking bald-assed eagle.
Victoria Scott
#43. Come on, think. If I were an immortal, ethereal Unicorn, where would I be parking my shiny-assed self?" "Right behind you, Mr. Fraser.
Bryan Fields
#44. In the swamp the alligators drifted like patches of bad-assed water.
Terry Pratchett
#45. That goddam stunted, red-faced, big-cheeked, apple-cheeked, curlyheaded, midget assed, , google-eyed, undersized, grinning, buck-toothed rat!!" Yossarian sputtered.
~ Catch-22
Joseph Heller
#46. The best sex of my life has officially wiped me out, every muscle a relaxed mess of orgasmy uselessness. He breathes hard, staring at me, then wipes his mouth and hops off the bed, walking bare assed out of the room.
Alessandra Torre
#47. Look, I know this seems a little half-assed ... ' 'No, dude. I'd be thrilled if this plan were half-assed. This is, like, no-assed.' 'You're right. It's the most no-assed thing I've ever done in my life.
Libba Bray
#48. Tagged by a whiny little vamp. Rache, take this sword and stick it in me. Just go and stick it in me. I'm a back-drafted, crumpled-winged, dust-caked, dew-assed excuse of a backup. Worthless as a pixy condom. Taken down by my own partner. Just tape my ass shut and let me fart out my mouth.
Kim Harrison
#49. I saw soda pop for $1.20 a six pack. That price messes with your head. You start thinking you're gonna sell soda pop. Suddenly I've got packs of pop with me. "Looking to buy some pop? 50 cents a can. It's not refrigerated because this is a half-assed commitment!"
Mitch Hedberg
#50. I was brought up on a ranch but, because of my father, the romance of guns had somehow escaped me. In his eyes, a gun was a tool, not some half-assed deity. Guys who named their guns worried him and me. I
Craig Johnson
#51. Making good design is easy. It's polishing the half-assed stuff that takes time.
Stefan G. Bucher
#52. Lovecraft was an atheist. Edgar Allan Poe was sort of a half-assed transcendentalist. And Hawthorne was only conventionally religious.
Stephen King
#53. And made Nina see rainbows and stars and stupid-assed unicorns.
Dakota Cassidy
#54. I use a whole lot of half-assed semicolons; there was one of them just now; that was a semicolon after 'semicolons,' and another one after 'now.
Ursula K. Le Guin
#55. In Erling Nicolai Rolfsrud's compendium of memorable women and men from North Dakota, "Mustache" Maude Black, for that was the name of my grandparents' benefactress, is described as not un-womanly, though she dressed mannishly, smoked, drank, was a crack shot and a hard-assed camp boss. These
Louise Erdrich
#56. In countries where all the crooked politicians wear pin-striped suits, the best people are bare-assed.
Paul Theroux
#57. Chief security officer on an OPA ship was a half-assed kind of position, one part cop, one part efficiency expert, and pretty much all den mother to a crew of a thousand people with their own agendas and petty power struggles and opinions on how he should be doing his job better.
James S.A. Corey
#58. WAGs ... That's a technical term we engineers use. It means 'Wild-Assed Guess'.
David Weber
#60. I ofen looked up at the sky an' assed meself the question - what is the stars, what is the stars?
Sean O'Casey
#61. In the love scene's final shot, Johnny gets out of bed and walks bare-assed to the bathroom. Tommy thought long and hard about his decision to show his ass. "I need to do it," he told me. "I have to show my ass or this movie won't sell.
Greg Sestero
#62. If you're a thorough professional, and they won't let you do a professional job, nobody's going to benefit from it. The people who produce it won't benefit. The people who buy it won't benefit from it. They're going to get a half-assed product.
Jack Kirby
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