Work Day Humor Quotes

#1. I still doubt it will work."
"You'd doubt the sun's rising if you weren't proven wrong each day," Raoden
said with a smile.

Brandon Sanderson

#2. Although I understand that all days are equal with 24 hours each, most of us agree that Friday is the longest day of the week and Sunday the shortest!

D.S. Mixell

#3. I wake up every morning thinking about all the great things I am going to accomplish that day, and I go to bed every night thinking about all the even greater things I'm going to have to accomplish tomorrow to make up for the nothing I did today.

John A. Ashley

#4. People are getting too far away from the real-world. Politics is just ridiculous, it's totally dysfunctional.

Temple Grandin

#5. Who timidly requests invites refusal.

Seneca The Younger

#6. Do you all have a living room floor or a bedroom floor? Then you can write a book.

Patricia Reilly Giff

#7. If you are idle, ask "why?" If you feel like life is boring for you, ask "why?" When you get into a disappointment, ask "why?" Even if you come out of all torments and disturbances, ask "why?

Israelmore Ayivor

#8. Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasants when, after putting in a heavy day's work strangling his father, beating his wife, and dropping the baby into the city's reservoir, he turns to the cupboards, only to find the vodka bottle empty.

P.G. Wodehouse

#9. One thing I have to give Christians; were it not for Sunday, every day of the week would be a workday.

Lex Allen

#10. Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.

Ellen Goodman

#11. Classy.' Mara shines the flashlight on my chest as she climbs into the beached boat and sits across from me.
'It was either this ["Bass Man" sweatshirt] or "Master Baiter". Or freezing to death.

Jeri Smith-Ready

#12. I like seeing how I can look in a photo.

Jourdan Dunn

#13. Sometimes, there is no harm in putting off a piece of work until another day.

Antoine De Saint-Exupery

#14. What deep violence does the mind invent / As polar opposite to love. (In 'Hat Love').

Tony Williams

#15. Every time I hear about somebody who wins a never-work-again sum in the lottery but keeps his or her day job I think, not a book person.

Amy Smith

#16. If you were to gather all the minutes wasted on insignificant, immaterial yik yak spent throughout the day and add them up, how much misspent time do you think you'd have? One hour? Two hours? Consider the sunk cost on that. It's unacceptable. One minute wasted is one minute too much.

Ari Gold

#17. A church without women would be like the apostolic college without Mary. The Madonna is more important than the apostles, and the church herself is feminine, the spouse of Christ and a mother.

Pope Francis

#18. In short, I do not write for mathematicians, nor as a mathematician, but as an economist wishing to convince other economists that their science can only be satisfactorily treated on an explicitly mathematical basis.

William Stanley Jevons

#19. I come home from work early one day, and I see a guy jogging down the street in his underwear. I ask him, "Why are you jogging in your underwear?" He says, "You came home from work early".

Rodney Dangerfield

#20. It's a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can't eat for eight hours; he can't drink for eight hours; he can't make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.

William Faulkner

#21. Going to work every day was like my hair was on fire and all I had to put it out was a hammer.

Bethany McLean

#22. I wasn't doing any work that day, just catching up on my foot dangling.

Raymond Chandler

#23. There are hardly any excesses of the most crazed psychopath that cannot easily be duplicated by a normal kindly family man who just comes in to work every day and has a job to do.

Terry Pratchett

#24. With reporting, if you work hard, you can usually pull something out. But writing humor doesn't respond to working hard, necessarily. I mean, you could just sit there and look at the page all day and maybe something will come.

Ian Frazier

#25. The American woman's inequality with men is proved by her defiant attitude.

Simone De Beauvoir

#26. There are other, civilised ways of dealing with the matter," Dllenahkh insisted.
Darithiven looked at him with pity. "Then, by your definition, this cannot be civilisation.

Karen Lord

#27. James Salter has talents on the page we novelists would sell souls to the devil for.

Sarah Hall

#28. WARD: I'll be home in time for dinner, honey.
JUNE: Alright - I'm pregnant - Have a fine day at work, dear.
WARD exits ... WARD reenters.
JUNE: Did you forget something, dear?
WARD: What did you say?
JUNE: I asked if you'd forgotten anything -

Benjamin R. Smith

#29. If wishes were horses, paupers would ride. If the queen had balls, she'd be king. If I didn't have to WORK, I'd write stories all day.

Suki Michelle

#30. One day I'll work out what it is you are saying, my lad, and then you'll be in trouble.

Terry Pratchett