Word Humour Quotes

#1. Ah! The English language was a wonderful thing! You could always find the right word. He only wished he could speak the language.

Terry Jones

#2. Spy' is such a short ugly word. I prefer 'espionage.' Those extra three syllables really say something.

Howard Tayler

#3. She had surrendered her virtue at six-and-ten, to a beautiful blond-haired sailor on a trading galley up from Lys. He only knew six words of the Common Tongue, but "fuck" was one of them - the very word she'd hoped to hear.

George R R Martin

#4. One word came to mind: pee-yew. Evan tried to place the odor; it wasn't a heap of decayed garbage or that of a spoiled fish. Truth be told, he smelled like rotten cheese.

H.B. Bolton

#5. For some reason when I type the word "love" in my iPad it keeps autocorrecting to "live". I find it oddly profound. My ipad IS. My iPad is ZEN:
"Only the iPad that autocorrects can write the true thing.

Annastacia Dickerson

#6. Don't think that people hate you, strongly dislike is a better word for it.

Sarah Van Waterschoot

#7. Read; explore; write; read; explore; write; read...

David Doyle

#8. Being pregnant was, well, inconceivable.

Shirley Conran

#9. She whispers in my ear: '"Tell me that you wan' fuck me hard, make me sweat." In the excitement, she misses out a word. "I want to fuck you so hard that your body drips with sweat," I say, grammatically.

Joe Dunthorne

#10. Do not mislead Perez Anna or malign the people who have sheltered you for over twenty years. We are not - what is the word for eaters of one another?"
"Capitalists," said Anna.

Eleanor Arnason

#11. The pity is that the public will demand and find a moral in my book, or worse they may take it in some serious way, and on the honour of a gentleman, there is not one single serious word in it.

James Joyce

#12. The cube contained knowledge of every person born and every battle fought; every kiss enjoyed and every secret kept; every word that was ever uttered and every thought that was ever conceived, from The Beginning until The End of Time.
"Looks a bit shit," said Sid.

Steven McKinnon

#13. Euthanasia is an excellent and comforting word! I am grateful to whoever invented it.

Bram Stoker

#14. Just recieved my manuscript from the editor and he didn't change a word. The word he didn't change was the.

Roy A. Higgins

#15. Mark Twain said the difference between the right word and the almost right word is like the difference between lightning and the lightning bug, and people think he was good, right ? Didn't write any decent characters, as far as I can tell, but otherwise fine.

Adam Rex

#16. You're an idiot, Vayle. What does delinquent mean?"
"It means you. If anybody asks you to describe yourself, that's the word you want."
"Thanks. Idiot.

Jonathan Renshaw

#17. What the fuck is going on Lor? What the hell did you do last night? What did you say to Kacey? Who the hell is Blue Eyes and why is my car spray-painted with the word 'asshole'?"

Spray-paint? Oh dear God, what have I done?

Joanne McClean

#18. She looks me dead in the face and says, "The safe word is going to be 'immigration,' because you know I'll stop it.

Kayti McGee

#19. The Dean leaned toward an ear.
"I was saying," he said loudly, "that we didn't know the meaning of the word 'sex' when we were young."
"That's true. That's very true," said Poons. He stared reflectively at the flames. "Did we ever, mm, find out, do you remember?

Terry Pratchett

#20. Do me a favor, doc?"
"Anything, Captain."
"Stop italicizing the word 'Captain' when you say it."
"Go easy on the fourth wall there, sir."
-Captain Andreyasn & Doctor Bunnigus

Howard Tayler

#21. There was this about vampires : they could never look scruffy. Instead, they were ... what was the word ... deshabille. It meant untidy, but with bags and bags of style.

Terry Pratchett

#22. You Englishmen,' said Herr Wurter. 'You are all the same. Wherever you are you behave as if you were at home and your word was law.

Derek Raymond

#23. Remember: If you go for a walk with a friend in England, don't say a single word for hours; if you go for a walk with your dog, talk to it all the time.

George Mikes

#24. Nothing makes you think you might need years of therapy like saying the word breasts in front of your mother.

Katie McGarry

#25. It fills all Space, and what It fills, It is. What It thinks, that It utters; and what It utters, that It hears; and It itself is Thinker, Utterer, Hearer, Thought, Word, Audition; it is the One, and yet the All in All. Ah, the happiness, ah, the happiness of Being!

Edwin A. Abbott

#26. The craft's occupants clutched their armrests, and more than one of them closed their eyes. But not Artemis. He couldn't. There was something morbidly fascinating about flying into an uncharted tunnel at a reckless speed with only a kleptomaniac dwarf's word for what lay at the other end.

Eoin Colfer

#27. So no get out of jail free card huh?" Ingra doesn't say a word I hear groaning behind me it's Tria she slowly gets up "How did we get here?!" Tria tries to keep her voice calm

Charon Lloyd-Roberts

#28. Religion supposed Heaven and Hell, the word of God, and sacraments, and twenty other circumstances which, taken seriously, are a wonderful check to wit and humour.

Jonathan Swift

#29. In the context of fiercely monolingual dominant cultures like that of the United States, code-switching lays claim to a form of cultural power: the power to own but not be owned by the dominant language...Code-switching is a rich source of wit, humour, puns, word play, and games of rhythm and rhyme.

Mary Louise Pratt

#30. Unless, unless, unless--a wisp of a word, ghostly token of altered fate, bleating little iamb of hope, it drifts across my thoughts like a floater in the vitreous humour of an eye. Mere hope.

Ian McEwan

#31. The word mortgage originates in French. it literally means 'death grip'.

Michael McGirr

#32. One day, maybe not in the next few weeks, but certainly in the conceivable future, someone will be able to refer to me without using the word 'arse' somewhere in the sentence.

Nick Hornby

#33. He said a bad word. Do you want to know what it was? It started with F. It's not the one you're thinking of, though. To the other one. The one that ends with P. do you want to know what it was? It was troop." She frowned. "Wait that's not a word.

Derek Landy

#34. The word "future" and females is a dangerous combination.

Chetan Bhagat

#35. If you want to know the Correct term for me, I'm a Dark-Hunter."
Nick digested that word slowly. "Which means what? You hunt darkness?"
"Yes, Nick. That's exactly what I do. There's just not enough of it." Now, there was some sarcasm you could cut with a knife.

Sherrilyn Kenyon

#36. When someone uses the phrase 'the prick one', and you know immediately that this is a synonym for the word 'metaphorically', you are entitled to wonder whether you know the speaker too well. You are even entitled to wonder whether you should know her at all.

Nick Hornby

#37. You're cooking", said Elizabeth, and each word came out of her mouth as if it was ashamed of being in the room with the others, "bunny soup.

Liam Perrin