Wish In One Hand And Crap In The Other Quotes

#1. But as his dad always told him, wish in one hand and crap in the other. See which fills up first.

L.T. Ryan

#2. When I was 12, I had a coach tell me I would never be a championship pitcher. That devastated me. I was crushed.

Jennie Finch

#3. Come on ... come closer."
I stood my ground. "I didn't get you up here to indulge in wild monkey lust."
"Crap." He dropped his hand to his lap.

Jennifer L. Armentrout

#4. Until we consider animal life to be worthy of the consideration and reverence we bestow upon old books and pictures and historic monuments, there will always be the animal refugee living a precarious life on the edge of extermination, dependent for existence on the charity of a few human beings.

Gerald Durrell

#5. I'm tired of this 'we better lay low, or someone will figure out we're different' crap. I mean, it's not like if I win a match people are going to say, who's that kid, he's a really good wrestler, he must be an angel.

Cynthia Hand

#6. Yeah, well, wish in one hand, crap in the other, and see which fills up first

S.A. Bodeen

#7. After a fellow gets famous it doesn't take long for someone to bob up that used to sit by him in school.

Kin Hubbard

#8. Crap.

She's going to cry.

This was a situation that required neutralizing. I placed my hand over hers and gave her a squeeze.

"There, there." Fruit cake. "Calm down -

Penny Reid

#9. If I've written five pages by hand, out of those five pages, one page might be worth saving. The rest is crap. I have to throw it away. It's like I need eight hours to do two hours' work.

Steve Toltz

#10. If your diet is dialed in, you can train in a pretty subpar manner and still get passable results. On the other hand, if your training is fantastic but your diet is crap, you have a harder road ahead of you.

John Romaniello

#11. It's your mind you have to train, like your mom said that one time, you have to separate yourself from all the crap, get down to the core, focus.

Cynthia Hand

#12. In his mind, he held up all the artifacts he had collected over the years and wondered about their true value.

Paul David Tripp

#13. Crap. No one's ever called me dorkina before. Derivative of dork. Not good.

Cynthia Hand

#14. The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect, he becomes an adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; the day he forgives himself, he becomes wise.

Alden Nowlan

#15. He reached out and put his hand on top of mine. My heart skipped a beat - he liked me, too!

"You're worried about what's killing the paranormals aren't you?"

Crap. He didn't like me.

Kiersten White

#16. There is some pleasure in being on board a ship battered by storms when one is certain of not perishing.

Blaise Pascal

#17. That passed the time. It would have passed in any case. Yes, but not so rapidly.

Samuel Beckett

#18. All the gold in the world cannot buy a dying man one more breath
so what does that make today worth?

Og Mandino

#19. You're wrong. She is a phony. But on the other hand you're right. She isn't a phony because she's a real phony. She believes all this crap she believes. You can't talk her out of it.

Truman Capote

#20. Normally writers do not talk much,because they are saving their conversations for the readers of their book-
those invisible listeners with whom we wish to strike a sympathetic chord.

Ruskin Bond

#21. I won't be that girl who lets the guy treat her like crap and still fawns all over him.

Cynthia Hand

#22. Sometimes when the poop hits the fan we should block it and run, sometimes we should haul off and knock it for a loop back at the spinning blades. Wisdom is knowing two things. One is which time is which. The other is that no matter what you do you're gonna get crap on your hand.

Faith Hunter

#23. Plot idea: 97% of the world's scientists contrive an environmental crisis, but are exposed by a plucky band of billionaires & oil companies.

Scott Westerfeld

#24. I've won every debate I've had with an atheist, and never converted even a single one.

Francis Joseph Sheed

#25. I just wanted you to know that everyone is going to see your frank-and-beans.

Belle Aurora

#26. Now all you need is to make a V with your hand and say in a death rattle that you have been and always shall be his friend," Ian noted with heavy irony.
"Why would I ... " I began. Then understanding dawned.
"Holy crap, you're a closet Trekkie!

Jeaniene Frost

#27. The Republicans released their 'Pledge to America.' It's 21 pages of phony charts and bad ideas. Sarah Palin got a copy, and she said, 'How am I supposed to fit all this crap on my hand?

Bill Maher

#28. Choose only one master - Nature.

Rembrandt