Werewolf Humor Quotes

#1. That werewolf fantasy would be a hard one to pull off. She'd have to troll through the forest in high heels, just praying one of the scruffy campers was actually a raving beast.

Victoria Dahl

#2. How do you express a skinny blonde werewolf and a former toad in a cake?

Elizabeth A. Reeves

#3. Another werewolf thing. Like most animals, we spent a large part of our lives engaged in the three Fs of basic survival. Feeding, fighting and ... reproduction.

Kelley Armstrong

#4. Was he hitting some type of werewolf midlife crisis? First, he'd left Wolf Town, and now he was envisioning a mate. What next? Bird watching? Board games? Retirement homes?

Rose Wynters

#5. Great. The part of the lovable dog will be played by Cody the Wolf. - Cody Forester, Werewolf Asylum

Roxanne Smolen

#6. His icy lovecicle pressed against her dewy portal, demanding admittance to her passion chamber. How did a guy with no heartbeat, no pulse, get an erection? Who cares?

Nine Naughty Novelists

#7. Vampire politics make the very complicated dance of manners that is werewolf protocol look like the Hokey Pokey.

Patricia Briggs

#8. It was a constant source of amazement to Alexia that the only thing she had ever done in her entire life that pleased her mama was marry a werewolf.

Gail Carriger

#9. They say the crazies come out at night. I say the crazies come out during election year: Elections have the power to turn once seemingly normal people into certified loonies.

Criss Jami

#10. No really, I'm a werewolf and you're a human, which essentially translates into a steak with legs.

Quinn Loftis

#11. Time flies when you grow fangs and fur.

Dianna Hardy

#12. From what I see, there are only two types of pack members--the hierarchy who are power hungry and the peons who are power less. - Cody Forester, Wolfsbane Brew

Roxanne Smolen

#13. Like the honey badger, the werewolf takes what it wants.

Kevin Hearne

#14. I handed him a beaker and toyed with the pleats of my skirt. The folds kept rippling against my knees in a distracting way. It was one of Naomi's additions to my wardrobe. I quickly decided that I hated it.

Andrea Cremer

#15. Of course not," Colby replied. "What's mine is yours, and what's yours is, well . . . yours.

Jody Morse

#16. So when the moon's only partly full, you only feel a little wolfy?"
"You could say that."
"Well, you can go ahead and hang your head out the car window if you feel like it."
"I'm a werewolf, not a golden retriever.

Cassandra Clare

#17. Have a Werebeast free day!" - Lucy Lowell

Bonita Gutierrez

#18. If a human female was going to defeat a male alpha werewolf, there was only so many thing she could do to accomplish that feat. All of them were batshit.

Heather Killough-Walden

#19. Change back to your ugly self before I change your face for you, Logan said, Silver Frost.

Kailin Gow

#20. I love talking to spirits. Maybe we can try contacting Marilyn Monroe or Elvis Presley next.

Jody Morse

#21. If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently?

Kristen Schaal

#22. He has been mad for you these many months, ever since you prodded him in the nether regions with a hedgehog.

Gail Carriger

#23. Fortunately, among werewolf women, the word "bitch" is not offensive. I was having a lot of fun with that.
"Hey there, bitches!" I called as I came through the door. "What are my favorite bitches up to today?

Molly Harper

#24. When it comes to love triangles and duels to the death, you should always cheat. - Fairy Werewolf vs. Zombie Vampire

Charlie Jane Anders

#25. Jason patted me on the back. "Tomorrow night we'll take you out chasing deer."
"I thought you'd chase cars," I said.
He grinned. "What fun is that? Cars don't bleed.

Laurell K. Hamilton

#26. Giving a witch your body fluids is akin to slicing off a choice cut of your buttocks and offering it to a werewolf.

Kevin Hearne

#27. Kyle is a werewolf?"asked Simon
"Of course he's a werewolf,you moron"said Jace

Cassandra Clare

#28. Are you sure that's Val?"
"No," said Freddie. "It's Lassie in a wolf suit.

Debra Doyle

#29. Well, isn't this just perfect," Kyle commented. "We need to go rough up a big bad wolf, and half the pack is already leaving.

Jody Morse

#30. Silly cop, I don't need your help; I have a werewolf on retainer.

Kevin Hearne

#31. I spent the next fifteen minutes convincing a crying werewolf that I wasn't going to hurt her. My life was getting too strange, even for me.

Laurell K. Hamilton

#32. There's an inverse relationship between my temper and my ability to control my accent. If you hear me say 'Fiddledeedee', run for the hills, because I'm getting ready to take out bystanders.

Molly Harper

#33. So, let me guess. You want me to give you flea baths?" They all wagged their tails excitedly at the idea.

Jody Morse

#34. She filed the image away as an excellent and insulting question to ask the earl at an utterly inappropriate future moment.

Gail Carriger

#35. I glanced at George half naked in his towel, then at Barkley, completely naked in his ... nothing. A vampire and a werewolf.
I shook my head. It was obvious. I was having one of my Anita Blake dreams again.

Michelle Rowen

#36. Colby better not bring me home Bambi, or I just might want to divorce him

Jody Morse

#37. Put some clothes on, you weird, yellow-eyed, table-dancing, werewolf-training, cryptic, stare-me-right-in-the-eyes-and-don't-even-blink wench.

Jim Butcher

#38. Bitten? You mean you're a-"
"A werewolf," said the girl. "Like everyone else here. Except you, and the asshole. And the asshole's sister.

Cassandra Clare

#39. Somehow, having a deer preside over the ceremony of a werewolf and a girl seems oddly appropriate.

Maggie Stiefvater

#40. Where does a werewolf sleep? Anywhere he wants to.

Patricia Briggs

#41. He makes it sound so Zen. Or Jedi. Like some kind of Wolf Yoda. There is no try. And maybe that's all there is to it. Don't over-think the shift. Just embrace the form that I want to be in.

Kat Kruger

#42. Casey doesn't trust him."
"Casey doesn't trust anyone," I replied. "He's paranoid like that. I mean, come on, he's a werewolf who installed a nanny cam in his kids' room." I pointed my spoon at Ali for emphasis. "A nanny cam.

Jennifer Lynn Barnes

#43. Death was hardest on the living. - Cody Forester, Wolfsbane Brew

Roxanne Smolen

#44. You thought I was a werewolf?" Dervish asks.
"Yes" I answer hollowly.
"You ass.

Darren Shan

#45. Just two naked guys enjoying a manly hug in the middle of the apocalypse. - Cody Forester, Werewolf Apocalypse

Roxanne Smolen

#46. The werewolf pointed at a bench next to the door into the Kirkwoods' tomb. "Sit. Wait."
Did I mention werewolves were chatty?

Mindee Arnett

#47. I feel as though whenever I create something, my Mr. Hyde wakes up in the middle of the night and starts thrashing it. I sometimes love it the next morning, but other times it is an abomination.

Criss Jami

#48. Does getting nailed by a werewolf count as bestiality?

Nicki Elson