Vaginal Quotes

#1. Posing the question: does the god of love use underarm deodorant, vaginal spray and fluoride toothpaste?

Harlan Ellison

#2. I have never observed even the slightest laceration in a woman who used clitoral stimulation as a relaxation method during birth. Clitoral stimulation seems to increase vaginal engorgement as the baby emerges.

Ina May Gaskin

#3. Did you really have to put ideas in Izzy's head? she now has some ... What did she call it? Oh yeah "Trifecta of Vaginal Bliss". What the hell does that shit mean?

Harper Sloan

#4. [Masters and Johnson found] the so-called vaginal orgasm was actually not vaginal. When it happened at all, it was the result of friction between clitoral hood and clitoris that some women experienced when the thrusts of the penis tugged at connected flesh.

Hanne Blank

#5. Tip: Unpopularity is a state of mind. Feel nerdy. Think uncool thoughts. It also helps to use the word "vaginal" a lot.

Jennifer Ziegler

#6. We're all just the product of a vaginal creampie

Asa Akira

#7. She should say something since the man was still standing there holding her like she was his virgin bride or something. Virgin. She wasn't. Unless it grew back after too many years of vaginal disuse.

Lexi Blake

#8. Ian Watson did an almost full novel length treatment which I've never seen and when he finished it Stanley said to him. I need somebody to smear this with vaginal jelly, and I have to say when I first heard this that I was rather shocked, because he was quite gentlemanly.

Sara Maitland

#9. Stephanie's vaginal teeth scrape against him as she makes love to him. Kevin cringes as she presses her messy head wound against his cheek. He doesn't enjoy the sex. It feels like he's getting a really bad blowjob from a girl with big teeth and a small mouth.

Carlton Mellick III

#10. ...I'm severely allergic to unsolicited monologue performances in public. While they don't cause sneezing or hives, when exposed, I do experience extreme and immediate vaginal dryness.

Sara Barron

#11. Not all gay men send me penis pictures. But no straight men do. And to date, no woman has sent me a picture of her vaginal canal. 'I know it's a little stretched out, but I've had four kids. What do you expect? LOL.

Augusten Burroughs

#12. She said when a boy and a girl dog copulate, the head of the boy's penis swells and the vaginal muscles of the girl constrict. Even after sex, both dogs remain locked together, helpless and miserable for a brief period of time.
The Mommy said this same scenario described most marriages.

Chuck Palahniuk

#13. No one ever expects vaginal arthritis. (Or the Spanish Inquisition).

Jenny Lawson

#14. Squirting isn't easy, it has to be said. Then, neither is riding a unicycle. Just as some people sweat more than others, or eat more than others, some girls erupt in surging geysers of vaginal fluids with greater facility and in more generous quantities than others.

Chloe Thurlow

#15. Vaginal penetration only doesn't work for most of us. And we're not all meant to be monogamous either, especially since women are capable of having far more sex than men. Try to get that fact across in America!

Betty Dodson

#16. Like a junkie, I was jonesing for a romance novel coupling. I needed a pulsing pillar of passion, a mammoth mail member, a cocky cobra ready to tangle with my vaginal mongoose.
I also needed to think about upgrading my reading. My imagery was actually starting to bother me.

Alice Clayton

#17. children born in North America were born by C-section, and the incidence of allergies and asthma is far higher among those children than it is for vaginal-birth babies.

Pieter Cullis

#18. It is the mind that speaks a woman's heart, not the vaginal walls.

Mary Roach

#19. I am not a sentimental or superstitious person, so I don't have any pre-performance rituals. I am a very practical woman. After a performance I am always hopeful that I will lure someone home for a ritual of a more personal nature.

Vaginal Davis

#20. I obsess and fantasize about whatever attractive men may be on the flight. Though these days the pickings are lean. No one flies regularly anymore but fugly, bland businessmen, and hideous families with no-neck monsters for children.

Vaginal Davis

#21. You were never quitting. You were searching.

Kristen Callihan

#22. As I princessed in the tower, he knight-in-shining-armoured up the drive.

John Harding

#23. When it comes to performance art, I am more interested in the failures then the so-called successes. I have never cared for entertaining anyone.

Vaginal Davis

#24. My performances may have elements that some may find entertaining, but that's not my main purpose.

Vaginal Davis

#25. Only Los Angeles could produce a creature such as myself. New York is a boutique city. You have to be wealthy and of privilege to be able to live comfortably there.

Vaginal Davis

#26. Understand that I will kill or die for you, Sydney. You are my everything and I have no plans on ever losing you.

Kitty Berry

#27. What did the zombie say to the whore?
Keep the tip!

Diana Rowland

#28. I want someone who can respectfully challenge me. I know what I believe, so there's no point in my taking on a relationship with someone who thinks like me or laughs at what I laugh at. I enjoy being with someone who can offer me the opposite.

Arielle Kebbel

#29. I have never lived in New York City, but a lot of people think that I am a New Yorker, because I was embraced by the Downtown scene since the 1980s. For the record I was born and raised in Los Angeles, California.

Vaginal Davis

#30. My brother had the faith my father brought him to, and for a long time, I had Sylvia, Angela, and Gigi, the four of us sharing the weight of growing up Girl in Brooklyn, as though it was a bag of stones we passed among ourselves saying, Here. Help me carry this.

Jacqueline Woodson

#31. My mother was a choreographer, so music has always been around.

Lindsey Haun

#32. I have a soft side that I like people to see. I'm not mean. That's just football. That's just the way you've got to go. You can't go into a game that is that violent and be soft. You can't be that way.

Brandon Jacobs

#33. I'm nothing. Nothing at all without writing. Without truth, my truth, the only truth I know, it's all a gambol in the pasture without rhythm or sense.

Harlan Ellison

#34. I love crafting. Knitting, decoupage, scrapbooking, any "lady-ish" art form, I'm a fan. For about six months each. Then I shove all the supplies in a closet, alongside the skeletons of long dead New Year's resolutions, like saber fencing, playing the ukulele, and Japanese brush painting.

Felicia Day

#35. I have always hated flying. I mainly pass the time writing letters. I am very old school and I still keep many correspondences the old-fashioned way, via post.

Vaginal Davis

#36. Paris is my favorite city in the world. The men are so beyond gorgeous, especially the humpy Arab men. But I could never live in Paris, it's a boutique city.

Vaginal Davis

#37. The best performance advice I have ever been given was to "Know where your light is, onstage."

Vaginal Davis