This Too Shall Pass Funny Quotes

#1. I find it funny that you could pass the same person on the street, in a store, or even in your neighborhood many times before actually meeting, thinking you've never seen them before, but when you are finally introduced, they seem to pop up everywhere.

Courtney Giardina

#2. It's funny to think of Dave Chappelle's show and how popular it was and he was before YouTube. I would imagine 'Chappelle's Show' would be even more giant if there was a chance to put his stuff online and pass it around.

Paul Scheer

#3. I myself grew up when radio was very important. I'd come home from school and turn on the radio. There were funny comedians and wonderful music, and there were plays. I used to pass time with radio.

Kurt Vonnegut

#4. I have gone through so many examinations of what a hero is, between the World War II stuff and the astronaut stuff.

Tom Hanks

#5. Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw.

Ron Atkinson

#6. I mean, I don't want to pass judgment - I just wish my husband didn't shoot deer."
"Oh, Mel, don't worry. I've been hunting with your husband - the deer are completely safe.

Robyn Carr

#7. I heard on their lips the language of passion, of betrayal and jealousy, and sometimes despair - languages with which I was all too familiar.

Colette

#8. While death is sadly inevitable, our grief will soon pass like a swallowed penny through one's bowels.

Painful change just takes time.

Jessica Watts

#9. I always chose all my friends on whether they were funny. What's a better way to pass the time than laughing or smiling?

Ricky Gervais

#10. My father would pass gas and then blame it on imaginary animals.

Bill Cosby

#11. Alright, good night," he said, his words a little slurred. "But before I pass out, I want you to know that you're the hottest biscuit this side of the gravy boat.

Erin McCarthy

#12. I love him who justifies the future ones, and redeems the past ones: for he is willing to perish through the present ones.

Friedrich Nietzsche

#13. He was wearing a look that she found odd and compelling - that amusement that didn't seem to pass beyond the surface of his features, as he found everything in the world both infinitely funny and infinitely tragic all at the same time.

Cassandra Clare

#14. I went to a restaurant with my friend, and he said, "Pass the salt." I said, "Screw you! Sit closer to the salt."

Mitch Hedberg

#15. One of my gripes about movies is that people take them so seriously, and the moneymaking aspects are so brutal.

Bill Murray

#16. There's something about comedy, funny things, that people want to pass them along. Serious things and personal things are much more privately enjoyed. That's why there are not a lot of sad viral videos.

Jonathan Coulton

#17. Why, why in the blue-green world write this sort of thing? Funny written culture, I guess; we pass things on.

Annie Dillard

#18. I have a weak stomach. My wife is a doctor, so she finds it funny that I actually pass out when I get my blood drawn. I physically can't stand gore on screen. I can't stand blood and guts. Not for any puritanical/moral high-ground reason. I just don't want to black out.

Christopher Denham

#19. Finally, Charlie gave up the hunt and placed (the puppy) back on the floor, dispatching fleas was not his idea of a romantic evening, unless you happened to be a twisted exterminator, he thought.

E.A. Bucchianeri

#20. You don't like people?" Raf asked. "I don't like what people do to each other.

Matthew Reilly

#21. There are two ways to pass a hurdle: leaping over or plowing through ... There needs to be a monster truck option.

Jeph Jacques

#22. I love family reunions. Maybe next year we could pass out samurai swords.

Doug Solter

#23. I can't pass a puppy, a kid or a baby without stopping. It's really annoying to every boyfriend I've ever head. My mother will roll her eyes and go, "God, really?!" But, I find children funny and great, and I love them.

Minnie Driver

#24. So the president is like, "Well, once upon a time it was Congress's job to decide whether or not we attacked countries, so let's let them decide." Which is funny, because, as we all know, if Congress were on fire, Congress could not pass the "Pour Water on Congress Act".

Hank Green

#25. I can't believe he didn't have the dignity and presence of mind just to get drunk and pass out in some gutter," said Jace. "I must say, I'm disappointed in the little fellow.

Cassandra Clare

#26. The fool has said in his heart: pass me another Everlasting God-Stopper, please.

M.J. McGuire

#27. You needn't worry about my following you or looking for you Princess. I'm not in the business of keeping someone who doesn't want to be kept.

Lilly Wilde

#28. Shirley MacLaine said, You're so funny, then gave me a hug. Everything went white. I couldn't hear, I couldn't see. I thought I was going to pass out.

Lisa Kudrow

#29. The rich hire lawyers and accountants for a reason - to pass the tax bill on to you.

George W. Bush

#30. You will not pass! Roman thundered.
Great. Now he had decided he was Gandalf.

Ilona Andrews

#31. Everybody blames the Jews for killing Christ, and the Jews try to pass it off on the Romans. I'm one of the few people who believes it was the blacks.

Sarah Silverman

#32. The defense should be expecting a run or a pass here.

John Madden

#33. If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry.

O. Henry

#34. She'd been in labor for nineteen hours; I completely understood why she wanted to pass the buck. 'You are so beautiful,' her husband crooned, holding up her shoulders.
'You are so full of shit,' Lila snarled, but as a contraction settled over her like a net, she bore down and pushed.

Jodi Picoult