Top 37 Tampon Quotes
#1. I never dealt with excessive body fur. But having barely made love to a tampon, my privates were truly untainted.
Maggie Young
#2. Susan was already rehearsing excuses in case she was caught: I just got my period and I was looking for a tissue to stuff in my underpants. Men didn't question menstruation stories. Ever. You could probably get into the White House if you said you needed a tampon ASAP.
Chelsea Cain
#3. The plumber he says, never flush a tampon. This is great information, cost me half a weeks pay.
Frank Zappa
#4. I'm not going to prison," I blurt out. "I'm too soft. I watched Orange is the New Black. I don't want to eat tampon sandwiches.
Lila Monroe
#5. All we demand are the same rights as men, and slightly more stalls per restroom. And tampon machines. And those little things in the stalls so we can put our used tampons in them. And, okay, just go ahead and make the bathrooms out of tampons.
Susan B. Anthony
#6. I hear everything he's saying, but mentally I'm picturing a sword hidden in my body like some medieval tampon, and suddenly, I'm afraid to sit down
Addison Moore
#7. The people voting for the Oscars are so old. I haven't seen one Academy Award voter with a tampon in her purse.
Joan Rivers
#8. I hate thin people; 'Oh, does the tampon make me look fat?'
Joan Rivers
#9. Women's clutches are too small. I open my purse, and with some hydraulic force, a tampon shoots 12 feet into the air.
Kelly Ripa
#10. I was born an emotional tampon in a cauldron of dysfunction.
Dana Gould
#11. Every time a woman has a period, it's a spontaneous abortion because the egg didn't take," I said, undeterred. "Are we going to start having a funeral for every used tampon?
Nick Wilgus
#12. crapulent buffoon with the IQ of a tampon.
John Niven
#13. I was in no mood to negotiate with the Tampon Terrorist.
Helene Boudreau
#14. Dampax. The best tampon on the market. Period.
Blair Evans
#15. Epithet, n.
I think the worst you ever called me was a "cunt rag."
"You mean I'm a tampon?" I asked. "I'm a tampon for not letting you drive?"
I laughed. You didn't. At least, not until you sobered up.
David Levithan
#16. Take your f***ing tampon out and tell me what you have to say.
Rahm Emanuel
#17. Tampon commercial, detergent commercial, maxi pad commercial, windex commercial - you'd think all women do is clean and bleed.
Gillian Flynn
#18. People often ask why comedy is harder for women, and the reason is because a tampon will sometimes fall out when you're on stage. Blokes don't have that worry.
Jenny Eclair
#19. Sex with my first boyfriend was a little bit like learning how to put in a tampon, but only half as enjoyable!
Samantha Bee
#20. It was a great story and I admired her. And I also felt a little envious. Because that bloody tampon had been a secret weapon. And every woman had one. But only a woman like Debby would be brave enough to use it.
Augusten Burroughs
#21. Is the diameter of your index finger equal to or greater than the diameter of a super absorbency tampon?
Julie Cross
#22. He'd probably faint at the sight of their hoards of undies, make-up, and never-put-away tampon boxes.
Debbie Johnson
#23. Jesus, how much stuff can one girl carry around in here?" he asked, waving a tampon. "Got your friend, huh? This is probably a good deterrent. Try waving it in the air if you run into trouble. Nobody will mess with your shit. Believe me.
Cassie Alexandra
#24. I can always stuff you back in the bottle and shove a tampon in the top instead of a stopper, and all the other Djinn will point and laugh-
Rachel Caine
#26. If you want to walk the heavenly streets of gold, you gotta know the password, "Roll, Tide, Roll!"
Bear Bryant
#27. Shane Dekkar. A man to define what all men should desire to become. Perfection, defined.
Scott Hildreth
#28. I live in Cullowhee, North Carolina. That's where I teach, at Western Carolina University. That region is where my family has lived for a long time and that region is my landscape.
Ron Rash
#29. I'm not a gangsta rapper. I rap about things that happen to me. I got shot five times. People was trying to kill me.
Tupac Shakur
#30. I'm left with one consolation, small though it may be: my fountain pen was cremated, just as I would like to be some day.
Anne Frank
#31. It's true that the skills required to be a conman are the same as those required for being an actor. Though those skills are in the service of something a bit more noble with acting, I hope.
John C. Reilly
#33. I Didn't Ask to Be a Senior Citizen (I Was Drafted)
Doug Jensen
#34. There are some chagrins of the heart which a friend ought to try to console without betraying a knowledge of their existence, as there are physical maladies which a physician ought to seek to heal without letting the sufferer know that he has discovered their extent.
Marguerite Gardiner, Countess Of Blessington
#35. We yearn for tomorrow and the progress it represents. But yesterday was once tomorrow, and where was the progress in it?
Dean Koontz
#36. You ball up your fist each time you hear about an unfound injustice in the world. That makes me your brother.
Darnell Lamont Walker
#37. Passion has little to do with euphoria and everything to do with patience. It is not about feeling good. It is about endurance. Like patience, passion comes from the same Latin root: pati. It does not mean to flow with exuberance. It means to suffer.
Mark Z. Danielewski
