Stood Up Funny Quotes

#1. There are some sentences you cannot see yourself ever writing. 'I heartily endorse the Conservative Party' would be one. 'I look forward to Justin Bieber's new record' would be another.

John Niven

#2. I've not done much living in my life, but I met this guy who makes me want to live it.

Denise Grover Swank

#3. Bak stood a moment, as though considering whether the sum total of their shared working life was ending in a minus or a plus.

Jussi Adler-Olsen

#4. In the war room, love? What if someone comes in?"
I stood and removed his shirt. "Then they'll have a good story to tell."
"Good?" He adopted the pretense of being offended.
"Prove me wrong.

Maria V. Snyder

#5. Whatever my limited knowledge, I tried to make up for it with energy.

Eric Greitens

#6. Noah had wandered down the aisle, but now he gleefully returned with a snow globe. He stood behind Ronan until he pushed off the shelf to admire the atrocity.
"Glitter," whispered Noah reverentially, giving it a shake.

Maggie Stiefvater

#7. It was funny, when I thought of it afterward, how Ruth and Gehrig looked as they stood there. The Babe must have been waiting for me to get the ball up a little so he could get his bat under it.

Carl Hubbell

#8. I was just about to open the door, when it opened up right in front of me. And there stood my parents.
Is there a word for that moment when two parties are so equally shocked to see each other given the circumstances that all they can do is stare at each other, openmouthed?

August Westman

#9. This is so funny," said Ellen, noticing the seating arrangement. "Isn't this funny? Tom, come sit next to Robin. Griffin, sit next to Laura."
I stood up and sat next to Robin while Griffin brought his chair over to Laura.
"That's better," said Ellen. "Isn't that better?

Daniel Amory

#10. It just seems like overkill when you already have a dagger and I have superpowerful magic at my disposal."
"'Superpowerful?'"He stood up, a gold chain dangling from his fingers. "Let me remind you of two words, Mercer: Bad. Dog.

Rachel Hawkins

#11. My heart skipped a beat and then flat-out tripped over itself and fell on its face. Then my heart stood up, brushed itself off, took a deep breath and announced: I want a spiritual teacher.

Elizabeth Gilbert

#12. As it 'appens, I am Arthur's right-hand man," said Suzy. "Or left-hand girl, I can't remember where I stood last time. Anyhow, me and Arthur is like two fingers of a gauntlet. Or at least the thumb and the little finger. I mean, I'm his top General, and all. So if I say you're in, you're in.

Garth Nix

#13. An intensive human rights education for all communities needs to be provided to overcome the old prejudices.

Ruth Manorama

#14. What's that?" he asked, when I stood beside him again.
"Halos," I said with a grin. "For heavenly creatures like us."
"That might be a stretch.

Richelle Mead

#15. I had a dream about you. You were being hung. I had a sword in one hand and a stool in the other. I couldn't decide which one to use, so I stood on the stool and threw myself on the sword. It was the least I could do to protest capital punishment.

Bauvard

#16. Jules stood up and stretched gracelessly. "Let's hurry up and pay before she"-she indicated Claire with a flick of her thumb-"sees something shiny and we lose her again.

Kimberly Derting

#17. I think everyone is very surprised at how 'Matrix' has become the pop culture phenomenon that it is.

Laurence Fishburne

#18. I thought "RV" stood for "Recreational Vehicle." No! It stands for "Ruins Vacations."

Bill Engvall

#19. Coming out as an atheist can cost an academic his or her job in some parts of America, and many choose to keep quiet about their atheism.

Richard Dawkins

#20. The magician stood erect, menacing the attackers with demons, metamorphoses, paralyzing ailments, and secret judo holds. Molly picked up a rock.

Peter S. Beagle

#21. We're a country of laws and rules, and the Supreme Court has ruled that life forms are patentable entities.

Craig Venter

#22. I resolved, then, deep in my soul never to let him go. I'd be the one never to leave him. I'd prove to him that some things could be for always- that we could be.

Ann Aguirre

#23. There was confusion since I stood here 35 years ago.

Eugene Ormandy

#24. No tricks, Syn," Ryder growled from where he stood a few feet away.
"Tricks are for kids, silly rabbit," I said

Amelia Hutchins

#25. He[Crystal's father] had found my height amusing, referring to me as his "little girl" at every opportunity even though I could see the bald patch on top of his head fringed by curls when we stood side by side.

Joss Stirling

#26. Her friends say she is very funny. At a family dinner, she stood to go, and the footman very properly pulled her chair away. At that moment I asked her a question and she sat down again, except there was no chair. Everyone, including the Queen, laughed and laughed.

Prince Andrew

#27. Commissioner Marlowe stood on the platform with his arms crossed as we disembarked. He had the cheerful demeanor of someone who has been beaten about the face all night with a sock full of porridge--only even more so than usual.

William Ritter

#28. Life is never as long as we want it to be, and wasted time can never be recovered.

J.D. Robb

#29. He stood and inhaled, then walked a few more feet, stooped, and prodded a chunk of rabbit fur.
"I'm definitely thinking something with more body parts," I said. "Like a head."
He gave a snort of a laugh. "It's probably around here somewhere, but I suppose you want the parts attached, too.

Kelley Armstrong

#30. We consider Christmas as the encounter, the great encounter, the historical encounter, the decisive encounter, between God and mankind. He who has faith knows this truly; let him rejoice.

Pope Paul VI

#31. I've died before. It was boring, so I stood up.

Warren Ellis

#32. The range had been exceptional. An apartment balcony fourteen hundred yards away had been identified as the rifleman's hide. Fourteen hundred yards is more than three-quarters of a mile. The French president had been at an open-air podium behind

Lee Child

#33. Raphael snapped, "This isn't funny."
"That's why no one's laughing." Jace stood, hauling Raphael upright, jamming the tip of his knife between Raphael's shoulder blades.

Cassandra Clare

#34. Cottontail knocked on the big front door and was admitted to the Palace. There she stood in her funny country clothes but none of the other four Easter Bunnies laughed, for they were wise and kind and knew better.

DuBose Heyward

#35. I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake. They said, "Do you want white cake or chocolate cake?" I said, "yes."

Steven Wright