Show Last Night Quotes

#1. We had President Obama on the show last night. I think the president enjoys visiting NBC because we're the only place that has lower numbers than he does.

Jay Leno

#2. The relationship between 'My Chemical Romance' and Michael Pedicone is over. He was caught red-handed stealing from the band and confessed to police after our show last night in Auburn, Washington. We are heartbroken and sick to our stomachs over this entire situation.

Frank Iero

#3. If that had been my last show last night, you'd be talking to the new guy, asking the same questions that I got.

David Mandel

#4. People call me old-fashioned. The younger guys on the force, they bust my chops because I don't speak their language. Harvey Bullock, dinosaur ... because, nope, I didn't see that show last night, where they prance around and belt out awful covers and vote each other into the damn ocean or whatnot.

Scott Snyder

#5. I have friends who've tried to break into the UK, who went back with their tails between their legs. Fortunately I've had the opposite experience.

Michael Bolton

#6. I usually hang around the room listening to a bit of last night's show. If there's one available, I go to the steam room every day for my voice. I spend half an hour there and then I eat, because I can't eat later than four o'clock. Then I go for a soundcheck. That's my day.

Phil Collins

#7. I went to the opening of 'Sister Act,' and I had such a great time. I had no idea what it was about, and I had never seen the movies. But I heard the show went through some major last-minute craziness in previews, and man, opening night was really fun and really entertaining.

Aaron Lazar

#8. They had just showed up, Amatis had said. Which meant Simon had spent the entire night at Isabelle's. She stared at him. He didn't look any different.

Cassandra Clare

#9. Last night on the show I had Olympics fever. Unfortunately, it's getting worse. That's not good. I have to call my doctor if my torch burns for more than four hours.

Craig Ferguson

#10. I left 'Saturday Night Live' without a film to go to, and I'd filmed 'Old School' while I was in my last season of the show, and that hadn't come out yet. I was a free agent, in a way, but I knew it was time to leave the show and test the water.

Will Ferrell

#11. The stacks keeps you on your toes. Besides which, there are rumours of ape-men living down here; I don't know how the rumours got started, but this place is more than somewhat creepy when you're on your own late at night.

Charles Stross

#12. The live show is different from the album. It's different every night depending on where I am and how many months have gone by since I last performed.

Sandra Bernhard

#13. The night creeps in by subtle degrees while a show of fierce colors attracts and distracts me. I look up, suddenly aware of remote lights scattered overhead. I gasp as the last streak of fire dies on the horizon, and I comprehend it all too late. That crafty, dark night has swallowed my world whole.

Richelle E. Goodrich

#14. One night last summer, all the killers in my head assembled on a stage in Massachusetts to sing show tunes.

Sarah Vowell

#15. Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time ... and last night, all those people were at my show.

Mitch Hedberg

#16. Schwarzenegger said last night on the show he expects his opponents to throw all kinds of dirt at him. And you know, it's started already. Today, they released the one thing that could really hurt Arnold. Turns out he once starred in a movie with Tom Arnold.

Jay Leno

#17. Dear Mama, don't cry, your baby boy's doin' good,
Tell the homies I'm in heaven, and they ain't got hoods.
Seen a show with Marvin Gaye last night, it had me shook,
Drippin' peppermint Schnapps, with Jackie Wilson, and Sam Cooke ...

Tupac Shakur

#18. It took forever for me to get work because I was a political comic, and now it's become good business, and God knows how long that'll last. You have to do it night after night after night to kind of make it. I still find myself on 'Piers Morgan' or on some show and I think, 'I hope this is funny.'

Lewis Black

#19. I'm very comfortable with an R-rating. I feel like it sounds like what people talk like in real life; I think it's more real to me.

David Dobkin

#20. I've got a business to run. Elmo's bringing over a new bed frame. Dora broke her's last night. That girl should be in a side show, not a whorehouse.

Ruta Sepetys

#21. That's one of the problems with making music your business, it becomes a business. You're no longer just this kid who is a fan and going to see every show. I've been in a bar every night for the last 15 years. Going to see bands for me is work.

Mojo Nixon

#22. I don't want to think too much about art, you see. I don't want to attend symposia, listen to papers, or discuss it at cocktail parties ... What I want to do is clutch my heart and fall down when I see it. (Mr. Nannuzzi to Edgar)

Stephen King

#23. For me, journalism has been more a matter of projecting a particular approach to covering policies, to covering issues. It was a continuation of what I tried to do in government.

Eliot Spitzer

#24. Voters want a fraud they can believe in.

Will Durst