Top 62 Screwed Life Quotes
#1. As he was gasping for air he realized something. He was in deep shit. Haley was his life now. His woman. His heart.
He was so screwed.
R.L. Mathewson
#2. As I say the words, I realize how true they are. And maybe that's the trick to getting through it, through life: realizing that everybody, including ourselves, is lugging around some kind of screwed-up baggage. Maybe we are put here to help each other carry the loads.
Lisa Ann Sandell
#3. Expect nothing from People with cheap thoughts. Because, You will end up screwed!
Mohith Agadi
#4. You know your life is completely screwed up when you have to look up the mythological figures who talk to you in the bathroom mirror.
Maurissa Guibord
#5. Life's like a penis; When it's soft you can't beat it; When it's hard you get screwed. - The Fat Man, Medical Resident in The House of God
Samuel Shem
#6. The future sometimes looms like a monster, a horrible scary one with teeth and claws.It's hard to plan your life when all the news talks about is how screwed up the world's become.
Ann Aguirre
#7. No matter how screwed up the artist might be, there's still the chance that they can produce art that people like us hang on our wall and talk about long after their death. That the sum is greater than one part. That maybe one incident does not a life make.
Charles Martin
#8. I realized that I had screwed up my life living different parts of my life in different places. I wasn't whole. I wasn't integrated. I wasn't a complete person. And after that, came out, spent some time at a psychiatric hospital.
James McGreevey
#9. I don't know why people think child actresses in particular are screwed up. I see kids everywhere who are totally bored. I've never been bored a day in my life.
Jodie Foster
#10. My first novel, 'In the Drink,' begun when I was 29 and floundering and published when I was 36 and married, was about a 29-year-old woman whose life was even more screwed up than my own had been.
Kate Christensen
#11. Oh, what am I going to do with this life I have been given." I said to myself as I sat and thought about life, and how screwed up mine really was. I was brought back into reality by Colin's answer.
Nicole Eglinger
#12. No matter how screwed up life is today, today is just a collection of moments that stop and start where you want them to. And nothing upsetting matters when you know tomorrow's gonna be better than yesterday
Robyn Schneider
#13. Your past doesn't define you. Only your present and your future. If your life is screwed up, stop making excuses. What are you going to do about it today?
Ingrid Weir
#14. I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life; my gynecologist examines me by telephone.
Joan Rivers
#15. We have to laugh at how hard life can be and how screwed up we can be at times ... It's a really freeing process when you're not hitting the jokes too hard.
Brett Gelman
#16. As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to do with your life, it should never have to do with the government. You should never depend on the government for your retirement, your financial security, for anything. If you do, you're screwed.
Drew Carey
#17. It bothered me that he was right. Without Sir Stuart's intervention, I'd have been dead again already.
That's right
you heard me: dead again already.
I mean, come on. How screwed up is your life (after- or otherwise) when you find yourself needing phrases like that?
Jim Butcher
#18. My dad used to say that life's a journey, but somebody screwed up and lost the map.
Rachel Caine
#19. Fine." I poured one more shot for her, then screwed the lid on the bottle. "But that's it. I'm not putting my life in the hands of a bunch of drunks.
Rachel Vincent
#20. I had an amazing experience doing 'Skins.' It was the first acting I'd ever done in my entire life, so I had to learn on set for those two years. I had to keep my head screwed on and learn from the other cast.
Mitch Hewer
#21. Life sucked and then they billed you for it. Kind of like how airlines charged you money before you got on a plane so that in the event they screwed up and killed you, they were already paid, and they wouldn't have to give you a refund.
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#22. Sometimes things work out on the golf course and sometimes they don't. Life will go on. You try to understand what happens, but maybe today I don't want to know. I just screwed up so maybe I should just put it behind me.
Greg Norman
#24. There was something special about being in a strange place, all alone in a mass of people even if you had just screwed up your life, or perhaps especially if you had just screwed up your life.
Louis Sachar
#25. Life is not living in the suburbs with a white picket fence. That's not life. Somehow our American culture has made it out that that's what life needs to be - and that if it's not that, it's all screwed up. It's not.
Tom Brady
#26. Because if I smashed anything, Team Jaiden would just get me into a behavior modification program, or maybe some doctor would put be on drugs for my ADD or bipolarism or depression or whatever they're calling being alive and feeling royally screwed these days.
Stefan Petrucha
#27. The best people in the world aren't those who never fail - but those who fail and learn something from it. I hope that your goal in life isn't to slide safely into death not having screwed up much.
John Townsend
#28. Life is messy and the universe has an awful lot of people to keep track of. Sometimes things get screwed up. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. Sometimes good things happen to bad people.
That isn't fair.
Bad things should happen to bad people.
And they will. They will.
Amy Zhang
#29. It isn't fair, the way some of us have gotten so screwed by life.
Suzanne Young
#30. The world is crazy. You need a license to drive a car and go fishing. You don't need a license to start a family. Two people have sex and BAM! Perfectly innocent kid is born whose life will be screwed up by her parents forever.
Laurie Halse Anderson
#31. Comics creators are generally screwed in life: Most of us who are fortunate enough to do comics full time - which is very few of us - will literally draw until we die because we have no employment structures intact for retirement, much less insurance!
Nate Powell
#32. Because there's nothing wrong with me," Alec says. "You know what is? Our society is so screwed up from top to bottom, everything about it, that it's become impossible to fix. It's easier to change people and make them fit into something that's broken. Know what I mean?
Brian James
#33. Real life is real weird and sometimes, it just stays screwed up. And ugly. Real ugly.
C.M. Stunich
#34. I think I've proved that I'm not to be trusted," he said.
"Then why do I feel safer now that I have in my entire life?"
"Because you're just as screwed up as me.
Brynn Kelly
#35. Life gets boring, someone invents another necessity, and once again we turn the crank on the screwjack of progress hoping that nobody gets screwed.
Larry Wall
#36. Okay, you're telling the truth. By the way, Nick, you have the most screwed-up life. You're either boring as all get out, or you're about to die. There's no middle ground with you. You might want to work on that.
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#37. I had the best sex of my life with a girl I had thought was way out of my league and in love with my dead brother. Yeah, Nash was probably right, if anybody could put up with all the crazy I was rocking I should probably lock her in quick because even I could see how seriously screwed up I am.
Jay Crownover
#38. Only the passionate were immortal, it seemed. If you fought, screwed, screamed, laughed, or otherwise experienced life intensely, for better or worse, you left a record. Those who lived a quiet, well-behaved, well-tempered life? Gone without a trace.
Magnus Flyte
#39. My children are the thing that make life work because, you know, I screwed up my life, and I know it was me, and it was really hard because it was so public, and that was very, very hard.
Kimberly Quinn
#40. If you have had no tension in your life, never been screwed up by problems, your mortality well within your own grasp, and someone tells you that God so loved you that He gave His Son to die for you, nothing but good manners will keep you from being amused.
Oswald Chambers
#41. A century ago, life screwed that poor man and me because we were too young, and now they want to do the same thing because we are too old.
Gabriel Garcia Marquez
#42. I mean, you know how it is. You chase a bottle of sleeping pills with a bottle of Jack Daniel's and life's never the same, no matter how many times you try to tell people it was just an accident.
Courtney Summers
#43. No one is a virgin, because life has screwed us all.
Ann Rinaldi
#44. The first year I was sober was probably the worst year of my life. My immune system was screwed. I completely isolated myself. I was weak all the time. I didn't know who I was.
Corey Taylor
#45. Our current perception is very cloudy and all screwed up. As our perception increases through meditation, we're seeing life more correctly.
Frederick Lenz
#46. No matter how screwed up your life is today, today is just a collection of moments that stop and start whenever you want them to. And nothing upsetting matters when you know that tomorrow is gonna be better than yesterday
Robyn Schneider
#47. I have lived a carnal life. My view of life is 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!' I don't have to go through the thing of paying for it in the next life. I know I'm screwed in the next life.
Sam Kinison
#48. I've screwed everything up royally. I remember you saying that growing up happens when you start having things you look back on and wish you could change.
Cassandra Clare
#49. It was weird how life worked. It was sad how people treated one another. It was horrid how people didn't see the loss of another. Life truly was screwed up
Aparajita Yadav
#50. We'd be really screwed if we had to start our life over again as children with our brains right now, because I think we lose the plasticity and flexibility.
Paul Bloom
#51. We all started off this way - small little bundles of joy. Me, Aires, Noah, Lila, Isaiah and even Beth. At some point, someone held us and loved us, but somewhere along the way, it all got screwed up.
Katie McGarry
#52. You know you've totally screwed up your life when your whole world turns to shit and the only person you have to talk to is your system agent software!
Ernest Cline
#53. People who can't afford their mortgages and have to renegotiate with the bank or something gets repossessed after you worked your whole life. You follow the rules and you do the right thing and you still get screwed. That's what I think a lot of Americans are.
Seth Gordon
#54. Nothing moves at the Hotel New Hampshire! We're screwed down here-for life!
John Irving
#55. In the screwed-up life I'd been dealt, she was my only source of comfort.
Abbi Glines
#56. Everyone is screwed up, the ones who try to say they aren't, they're the ones who are the worst off.
Holly Hood
#57. And you don't even need to say anything. I'm screwed up. I don't know how any of this works anymore than you do. But I do believe you're worth every second it would take to figure it out, Mason said, a smile taking over his features.
Holly Hood
#58. Josie Preston, I have loved you since I was sixteen. I know I've screwed up a whole lot, but I promise to make it up to you every day. Would you do me the immense honor of wearing my ring, taking my name and becoming not only my partner in life, but most importantly, my wife?
Heidi McLaughlin
#59. That's all right,' she says, and I have to wonder how many times she's said that to the people in her life who screwed her over somehow
Tim Tharp
#60. I'm not putting my faith or life in anyone's hands. All that ever got me was screwed, and my ass is currently sore from it. (Wren)
Nice imagery there, tiger. Graphic. Ever think of writing children's books? (Fury)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#61. You know, like that old Catch 42 expression that stands for the meaning of life is that in the end you always get screwed.
Jack Campbell
#62. Even if I screw up in my personal life, as long as I'm not destroying myself, I just think, "Okay, I screwed up." I'm not Mother Theresa.
Steve Coogan
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