Top 100 Screw Quotes
#1. Where I come from, family's defined as those who don't screw you over a paycheck. Blood makes no difference. If you can trust them with your life and know that they'll be there come whatever hell rains down, then they're your family.
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#2. You're an asshole."
"And you're a bitch," he says. "A bitch with a kick-ass smile and eyes that can seriously screw with a guy's head.
Simone Elkeles
#4. I didn't have a teenage or early-20s experience that was free and without worry. I missed the screw-everything, have-a-good-time phase.
Sandra Bullock
#5. Screw poetry, it's you I want, your taste, rain on you, mouth on your skin.
Margaret Atwood
#6. You're never too old for me to look out for you and to make sure that every guy knows that if he tries to screw you over, I will shoot him."
"Okay," I say, looking up at Asher. "If you screw me over, my dad will shoot you.
Aurora Rose Reynolds
#7. This puzzling discrepancy prompted the development of the controversial cosmological theory known as the Strong Misanthropic Principle, which asserts that the universe exists in order to screw with us.
Robert Kroese
#8. Screw reality. It don't feed my dog. It don't make my Porsche payments. It don't get me laid. Bullshit does that ... and I like it that way. (Leo)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#9. Everyone has crap in their background, everyone has things they wish they could undo. But most people don't go around doing their best to screw up their present lives because of it.
Nicholas Sparks
#10. Sometimes I screw up in the game, I miss a shot or I miss a rebound, and I fight myself. I am like, 'Why I miss that shot? Come on, what are you doing?' I am fighting myself.
Mehmet Okur
#11. Always do business as if the person you're doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he's not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
Steve Martin
#12. I know a lot of people did a lot of heavy lifting to make me successful and I do everything in my power not to screw it up.
Charles Barkley
#13. The most powerful teaching moments are the ones where you screw up.
Brene Brown
#14. Also, I plan to screw something up on every movie I do so that I can learn from my mistakes and become a better director with each project.
Richard King
#15. Miserable is a good thing, though. If you start the day miserable, nobody else can screw up your day.
Jake Roberts
#16. My film school is making movies. But, I do think that being an actor has served me immensely, as both a writer and director, in terms of knowing what is playable and what will be fun to play, for actors, and also how to communicate to actors on set, and not screw them up and get them in their head.
Josh Radnor
#17. It's easy to write a short story and frighten people for five pages, but to work at length, when you do it as in 'The Turn Of The Screw' or 'A Christmas Carol,' it's different; you have to build it and build it.
Susan Hill
#18. in my four months of legal cramming I'd learned the law is full of technicalities. Technicalities are what screw up justice. Wilcox
Frank W. Abagnale
#19. When we played, World Series checks meant something. Now all they do is screw your taxes.
Don Drysdale
#20. Feely had the knack of being able to screw one side of her face into a witchlike horror while keeping the other as sweet and demure as any maiden from Tennyson. It was perhaps, the one thing I envied her.
Alan Bradley
#21. You evah hear of a magic screw?'
I cough back a laugh. 'No. No, sir.
Libba Bray
#22. I was just a screw or cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else.
Edith Wharton
#23. Screw you in the ass with an anglepoise lamp,
Hugh Laurie
#24. To err is human, but to really screw things up requires a design committee of bureaucrats.
Henry Spencer
#26. What better way to exorcise rejection demons than to screw the person who rejected you?
Nick Hornby
#27. Gone are the days when women were attracted by a man's hansomeness. Today, we are talking about cash, and your compromise to become a tiger in bed.
Michael Bassey Johnson
#28. I remember vividly my student days, spending hours at the light microscope, turning endlessly the micrometric screw, and gazing at the blurred boundary which concealed the mysterious ground substance where the secret mechanisms of cell life might be found.
Albert Claude
#29. Well, it looks like we've moved a step closer to war. Not with Iraq. With France and Germany. How did we screw that one up?
Jay Leno
#30. And, lastly, there's a small pack of wide-eyed innocents in awe of my Beacon-ness who follow me around expecting me to perform a miracle any minute. Sometimes I screw up my face like I'm trying. Or constipated.
Eliza Crewe
#31. It's fun to play around ... it's human nature to try to select the right horse ... But for the average person, I'm more of an indexer ... The predictability is so high ... For 10, 15, 20 years you'll be in the 85th percentile of performance. Why would you screw it up?
Charles R. Schwab
#32. I do not appeal to you to screw up your courage and sacrifice for Christ. I appeal to you to renounce all you have to obtain life that satisfies your deepest longings.
John Piper
#33. Screw being a singer! I wanna be the voice of my generation with my talk show.
Tyra Banks
#34. I really enjoyed multicamera comedy. You film in front of a live audience, and it's kind of the best of both worlds. It's like doing a one-act play every week, but if you screw your lines up, you get to do it over.
Alan Ruck
#36. Disbelief. Pain. Resolve. Christ, she was exquisite. He was going to screw her ten different ways until she couldn't stand up, and then send her home to wipe the floor with that man.
Kitty French
#37. Shane:is your distant cousin jack the ripper dropping in for coffee.
eve:screw you collins
Rachel Caine
#38. Honestly, we'd probably be great parents. But it's a human being, and unless you think you have excellent skills and have a drive or yearning in you to do that, the amount of work that that is and responsibility - I wouldn't want to screw them up! We love our animals.
Ellen DeGeneres
#39. I'd rather get up early and go out and do something than stay up late and screw up my body.
Mike Shinoda
#40. How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb? The plum tree in the garden!
Brad Warner
#41. Nobody can have your psychedelic experience for you; you just have to screw your courage up and raise the cup to your lips or smoke the pipe or whatever it is and face what's in there.
Dennis McKenna
#42. It's an odd thing- the softer and more easily hurt a woman is the better she can screw herself up to do what has to be done.
E. Nesbit
#43. Horseshit," Shame said cheerfully. "He can dispossess you and die. Pretty easy, really. Most people die the right way the first time. You'd think a genius like him wouldn't screw it up so badly.
Devon Monk
#44. You know what, when you screw up in the ring, it's so embarrassing.
Jake Roberts
#45. If the child gives the effect another turn of the screw, what do you say to TWO children - ?" "We
Henry James
#46. Oh, for the love of God, Ella. You're going to make me come right now." I grunted, trying to steel myself and last a little longer. I could feel my own tension building and knew I wouldn't last long. "Screw it," I said. "I'll just fuck you again later." - Jonathan di Luca
R. Matthews
#47. Some people go to bed at night thinking, 'That was a good day.' I am one of those who worries and asks, 'How did I screw up today?'
Tom Hanks
#48. As for my constant low-grade state of confusion - the Blur is a term that seems to be sticking - let me break it into three categories: (1) things I should know but never learned, (2) things I choose not to know, and (3) things I know but totally screw up.
Maria Semple
#49. Yes. And Paula's a bitch," I said without preamble. "You mean Miss Mint Julep Ladygirl Fiddle-dee-dee? Yeah. Screw her.
C.D. Reiss
#50. I feel there are two people inside me - me and my intuition. If I go against her, she'll screw me every time, and if I follow her, we get along quite nicely.
Kim Basinger
#51. Prithee don't screw your wit beyond the compass of good manners.
Colley Cibber
#52. Thanks. Hey, before I go, how's the romance coming with that vampire, what's his name?" "Vlad? I staked him. He was going to cheat on me and break my heart." Sasha shrugged. "I broke his first." Never screw around with a psychic. Especially not murderous ones.
Eve Langlais
#53. It's a mood record. Like one night you're going to be down in the dumps depressed because you're thinking about your ex-boyfriend and the next moment you're gonna be like screw him you know? And the next one you're saying to yourself 'God I'm in love.'
Willa Ford
#54. Aren't I supposed to be brave, fearless? Isn't that what the world expects?"
"Screw what the world expects. Think about all the things you've faced. You cracked, but you didn't break. You're still standing. I'd call that fearless. You've already conquered so much.
Myra McEntire
#55. All you want is to have hot sex,
But after work every night,
You're so tired, the only thing
You can turn on is T.V shite.
There's never energy for sex.
So, oh, whatever will you do?
Well, there is no need to worry,
Because the system will screw you.
Harry Whitewolf
#56. The sexual attraction between a shifter and one of the marked was always strong and for some that was enough. Even though it might mean spending the rest of your life bound to a woman who wanted to screw you every time she looked at you, but hated you while she did it.
Cait Miller
#57. God damn the geraniums! ... It was like trying to screw during an aerial attack.
Charles Bukowski
#58. I've certainly had to bite my tongue on occasion and live to fight another day, so to speak, on certain things. But when you're new and fresh, you come out and think, 'I don't want to screw my chance up, so I'll go along with what everybody else does.'
Joe Nichols
#59. he asks me, as if Ruth's become invisible. That's fucked up but that's what happens to women. We grow up into ghosts. No one wants to screw Ruth anymore so she's invisible.
Samantha Hunt
#60. There's no denying the fact he is really, really good-looking, in this rakish, edgy, badass, I-just-rolled-out-of-bed-and-screw-you-I-don't-need-a-mirror kind of way.
Hannah Harrington
#61. My motto is: Always get even. When somebody screws you, screw them back in spades.
Donald J. Trump
#62. It's not going to be easy; Enterprise IT has spent decades growing a defensive culture based on the premise that you only get noticed when you screw up, so that must be avoided at all costs.
Tim Bray
#63. I am pragmatic. That which works, works, and theory can go screw itself. However, my pragmatism also extends to maintainability, which is why I also want it done well.
Linus Torvalds
#64. Life is fragile. Screw all that hesitant bullshit. We were going to go for it.
Charles Sheehan-Miles
#65. Screw that, the questionn at hand is what's your major?" Oded said. "Because let me tell you right now, any answer other than World of Warcraft or Advanced Ninja Studies will not be accepted.
Rachel Caine
#66. I've just confirmed every bad joke ever told about second violin players. Question: How many second violinists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Answer: They can't go that high. Gerda
Tess Gerritsen
#67. You really know how to screw up a perfect night, don't you?"
"You thought it was perfect, huh? Does that mean you had a good time?"
"I always do when I'm with you.
Jamie McGuire
#68. I thought about tennis. But the more I thought about the whole thing - lessons, equipment, going to the courts - I said screw it, I'm just going to go buy a pair of sneakers and go running.
Biz Stone
#69. But I think he knew in the end it wouldn't be the lucky ones left standing. It would be the hardcore. The ones who tell Lady Luck to go screw herself. The ones with hearts of stone.
Rick Yancey
#70. Screw what the world expects. Think about all the things you've faced. You cracked, but you didn't break. You're still standing. I'd call that fearless.
Myra McEntire
#71. What you did hurt, Lucas. You wanted me to submit to you just so you could tell me to screw off." I whisper harshly. "And now you want me.
Emily Snow
#72. Given enough time humans will screw up Wikipedia just as they have screwed up everything else, but so far it's not too bad.
Jimmy Wales
#74. I wasn't entirely sure how to reply. Blow me and Screw you both seemed like strong contenders, but the peanut gallery in my head appeared to be favoring castration.
Jennifer Lynn Barnes
#75. You know, it's a funny thing. You can smoke yourself to death, drink yourself to death, work yourself to death, and even eat yourself to death. But that's all acceptable. The only thing you can't do medically is screw yourself to death, and yet that's where they put all the obstacles.
Mario Puzo
#76. The quickest and easiest way to screw up your life is to take on too much debt.
Josh Kaufman
#77. Screw humanity. I don't give the whole stinking bunch of us more than a couple of generations and good riddance. The universe is better off without us.
Ben Elton
#78. I knew I wanted to write novels, but I could not finish what I started. The closer I got, the more ways I'd find to screw it up.
Steven Pressfield
#79. The way to screw up somebody's life is to give them what they want.
Patrick Swayze
#80. I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
George Carlin
#81. My reaction to porno films is as follows: After the first ten minutes, I want to go home and screw. After the first twenty minutes, I never want to screw again as long as I live.
Erica Jong
#82. Love is really liking someone a whole lot and not wanting to screw that up.
Daniel Handler
#83. Never camp by the edge of a waterhole"; "don't screw with hippos"; "baboons are like German shepherds on crack";
Marilyn Johnson
#84. I love Goody's Spin Pins. They're super cheap and look like corkscrews. You just gather your hair and screw them into a bun.
Christa Miller
#85. We don't screw up by saying yes to the wrong things; we screw up by letting all the floats in the parade pass us by and never jumping on one of them for a ride to the end.
Annie F. Downs
#86. I'm so organised. I never screw up. I've done it maybe twice before. I check my calendar seven times a day.
Anna Paquin
#87. I try to be as real and honest about everything and very genuine with people and say, 'Listen, I'm a Christian, and I'm not perfect. I screw up every day, but I think that's what grace is all about.'
Tim Tebow
#88. Everyone on the bus can laugh at me, and I'll be like, 'Screw you guys: I look good!'
Amy Lee
#89. If you start doing things because you hate others and want to screw them over, the end result is bad.
Linus Torvalds
#90. Eat only when you are hungry. Drink only when you're thirsty. Sleep only when you're tired. Screw only when you're horny.
Al Neuharth
#91. The whole thing reeked of faerie mischief.
Screw you. Me and my magic hands will be fine, thank you very much.I'm staying right where I am.
Kiersten White
#92. This life of ours, this is a wonderful life. If you can get through life like this and get away with it, hey that's great. But it's very predictable. There's so many ways you can screw it up.
Paul Castellano
#93. With a lump forming in his throat, he thought
about all the hopes and dreams that he had for his son. More than
anything, he prayed his boy would not grow up to be a screw up
like his dad when it came to love and marriage.
Michelle Sutton
#94. One chance, One life. Make it or screw it up, it's your choice. Don't wait to long or your time will be up.
Stephen Burt
#95. There are some screw-ups headed your way. I wish I could tell you that there was a trick to avoiding the screw-ups ... but they're coming for ya. It's a combination of life being unpredictable, and you being super dumb.
Aaron Sorkin
#96. Don't be so damn hard on yourself. Yeah, you screwed up. You're not perfect, fine. Learn from it. But don't punish yourself. Be kind to you, even when you screw up. You'll bounce back eventually. You'll make up for it.
Stephanie Klein
#97. We were not allowed to say, Screw, but we could say, Hump the hostess, because hump is in Shakespeare.
Uta Hagen
#98. It's more than personal. I can't screw it up. I have to do ...
Jim Harbaugh
#99. THERE ARE SOME MEN who enter a woman's life and screw it up forever. Joseph Morelli did this to me - not forever, but periodically.
Janet Evanovich
#100. When life gives you lemons, screw lemonade! Make orange juice!
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