Top 32 Restaurant Waiter Quotes
#1. When I was a waiter I was fired twice from the same restaurant. I guess I was that good of an actor but that bad of a waiter.
Nathan Fillion
#2. A man who goes into a restaurant and blatantly disrespects the servers shows a strong discontent with his own being. Deep down he knows that restaurant service is the closest thing he will ever experience to being served like a king.
Criss Jami
#3. A Cannibal is a person who walks into a restaurant and orders a waiter.
Morey Amsterdam
#4. One time, I went to a restaurant and I asked the waiter for some food for thought. He left, came back, and tried shoving a sirloin in my ear.
Travis J. Dahnke
#5. I don't have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. I think that speaks for itself. The less said about it the better.
George Carlin
#6. You wouldn't have the same art on the walls at every restaurant or the same waiter uniforms. Neither should you have the same service style at every restaurant.
Danny Meyer
#7. The immortal photographers will be straightforward photographers, those who do not rely on tricks or special techniques.
Philippe Halsman
#8. And always the cutting out and the buggering about and the buggering about and the rewriting and so on ...
Basil Bunting
#9. Wendy, let me in, I wanna be your friend. I wanna guard your dreams and visions.
Bruce Springsteen
#10. The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, "Could I get you your check?" and we answered, "How about the menu first?"
Erma Bombeck
#11. I wanna try being a waiter at restaurant or work to introduce Korea to other people!
Seungri
#12. Insanity hovered close at hand, like an eager waiter at an expensive restaurant.
Arundhati Roy
#13. For other people, love is like some rare orchid that can only grow in one place under a certain set of conditions. For me it's like bindweed. It grows with no encouragement at all, under any conditions, and just strangles everything else.
Scarlett Thomas
#14. I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French, surprised everybody. It was a Chinese restaurant. I said to this Chinese waiter, 'Look, this chicken I got here is cold.' He said, 'It should be, it's been dead two weeks.'
Tommy Cooper
#15. Instead of seeing the spiritual life as one that can exist only if it is enclosed by the walls of a monastery, Ignatius asks you to see the world as your monastery.
James Martin
#16. When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, "Give me a table near a waiter."
Henny Youngman
#17. Eight years ago, I was a waiter, and I didn't have a pot to piss in. And now ... ? It's like I said to my wife: I love the fact that, if I was in a restaurant and Steven Spielberg walked in, I could go up to him and say, 'Hey, mate, how are you?' I think that's pretty amazing, actually.
Nick Frost
#18. Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
Henny Youngman
#19. Peppier n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.
Steven Pinker
#20. A man who has to go to the village to get the news hasn't heard from himself in a long time.
Henry David Thoreau
#21. If I can't eat the meal in a restaurant, and the waiter asks, 'Is everything all right, Madam?', I tell them that I'm on a diet.
Cilla Black
#22. Material power that is not counterbalanced by adequate spiritual power, that is, by love and wisdom, is a curse
Arnold J. Toynbee
#23. A diner having a row with a waiter in a swanky restaurant chills the blood in a way that a quarrel over a pizza order elsewhere would never do. Compassion is rarely the custom of the privileged.
Derren Brown
#24. The very first act of the Confederate Government was to send commissioners to Washington to make terms of peace, and to establish relations of amity between the two sections.
Lucius Quintus Cincinnatus Lamar II
#25. This phrase did not have the ring of verisimilitude because I am famously bad at math. If I'm in charge of tipping at a restaurant, the waiter will either fall to his knees in gratitude or slash my tires. There ain't no Mr. In Between.
Celia Rivenbark
#26. Everything I do, I go to black people. If I have a problem at the airport, I'll go to the black ticket agent. I hope they notice me because I'll get better service. If I'm at a restaurant, I look for the black waiter. Rent-a-Car, give you the upgrade.
Gary Owen
#27. There is no good in living in a society where you are merely the equal of everybody else. The true pleasure of life is to live with your inferiors.
William Makepeace Thackeray
#28. You have available to you, right now, a powerful supercomputer. This powerful tool has been used through-out history to take people from rags to riches, from poverty and obscurity to success and fame, from unhappiness and frustration to joy and self-fulfillment, and it can do the same for you.
Brian Tracy
#30. I'm a man who likes to take control, Cynda, but I don't object to proving I deserve to be in control of a woman's body.
Eden Connor
#31. I went to a restaurant the other day called 'Taste of the Raj.' The waiter hit me with a stick and got me to build a complicated railway system.
Harry Hill
#32. I love to watch those old movies on late-night television, particularly when a couple get up from a champagne dinner in a posh restaurant and the hero hands the waiter $3. But the best part is when he says, "Keep the change."
Robert Orben
