Quotes About Your Roommate

#1. You marry your friends when you stay with your friends. It's hard enough to find a good roommate, let alone a good person you can live with and fall in love with at the same time. You might as well just take your roommate, if you can find one, and marry them.

Ariel Pink

#2. In a first pregnancy, you don't have a child yet, so you can nap and see movies and exercise. The notion of 'baby' is abstract. You look at the ultrasound and don't really understand that the creature you're seeing is soon going to be your roommate.

Kelli Williams

#3. He told his roommate that when he was writing, I can't feel my ass in the chair.

D.T. Max

#4. Cooper was my road roommate, and also happened to be the first African American player drafted by a National Basketball Association team.

Bob Cousy

#5. I don't have any weird night rituals. I definitely am a ritualistic person ... I like to go downstairs and remind my roommate-drummer not to practice early the next morning, so I can sleep in.

Charlie Worsham

#6. He isn't like us Low. You know that right."
I knew what Cage was saying. Marcus was out of my league. He didn't want me thinking there could ever be anything between me and his roommate. I was low class. Marcus was a rich kid.
"I'm not stupid Cage.

Abbi Glines

#7. Not the letter again?" Simon's roommate at the Academy, George Lovelace, groaned. He flung himself down on his bed, sweeping an arm melodramatically across his forehead. "Oh, Isabelle, my darling, if I stare at this letter long enough, maybe I'll telepathically woo you back to my weeping bosom.

Cassandra Clare

#8. The other day I walked in on my roommate while I was masturbating.

Nick Thune

#9. My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.

Steven Wright

#10. My roommate and my boyfriend, they both know I am compulsive and controlling.

Christina Ricci

#11. Interesting" he said. "You know, Simon never mentioned that his roommate was a werewolf.

Cassandra Clare

#12. I like cinnamon rolls, but I don't always have time to make a pan. That's why I wish they would sell cinnamon roll incense. After all I'd rather light a stick and have my roommate wake up with false hopes.

Mitch Hedberg

#13. There's no danger of me forgetting, but if you think the threat of a seven-foot-tall bear of a roommate is my only incentive for treating you well, maybe we should cancel dinner.

Skye Callahan

#14. There is little worse than when the person to whom you want to apologize is having great sex in your room.

Thomm Quackenbush

#15. Everyone has this universal understanding of roommate drama.

Leighton Meester

#16. Oh. Now you are not so afraid, then?"
Kitty opened her mouth, indignant. "I was not afraid before! I was... shocked. How many times do you see your orphanage roommate be able to turn someone into stone?"
"Every time I look in the mirror.

Ana Franco

#17. I can't take living in this dorm," the voice on speaker says. "My roommate's a fruit loop dingus.

Colleen Hoover

#18. We're sisters, we're roommates, we're all that.

Serena Williams

#19. The kind of roommate who greets me at the door, who makes me dinner, who would bring me coffee and bagels every single day of the week if I asked her to.

Mary Kubica

#20. I am proud of having drawn the first comic about a lesbian - and it didn't even occur to me that I was drawing a first. I just wanted to tell the story of my roommate.

Trina Robbins

#21. In Cincy, we're told how much Gatorade we could take home. In Houston, we get what we request. You get soap and deodorant at your request. You don't have a roommate on road trips.

Johnathan Joseph

#22. Get your product in front of actual, living, breathing strangers. Your college roommate's approval does not mean there's market demand.

Kathryn Minshew

#23. Having a teenager is like having a really, really shitty roommate. They eat all your food and steal your clothes and take money out of your purse and borrow your car without asking.

Karin Slaughter

#24. My students often say, 'My roommate read this story and really liked it,' and it's hard to convince them that there are things wrong with it. I say, 'Well, people who love you want you to be happy. But I'm your professor and I'm supposed to be teaching you something.'

Joyce Carol Oates

#25. I wouldn't want to be someone's roommate, that's for sure. You can't do certain things: you can't leave the bathroom door open ... you can't put your feet on the couch, you can't hide stuff in the couch.

J. B. Smoove

#26. Butch put his hand on his roommate's nape and murmured, I'll do the saving until you get your head back, how about that? I'll keep you safe.

J.R. Ward

#27. I'm only sleeping on your couch because my boyfriend of two years decided it would be fun to screw my roommate and I really didn't want to stick around to watch.

Colleen Hoover

#28. Called her a whore and attacked her walls, tearing down her posters and throwing her books everywhere. I found out because some whitegirl ran up and said, Excuse me, but your stupid roommate is going insane, and I had to bolt upstairs and put him in a headlock.

Junot Diaz

#29. And thus I wonder about so many gay men I've met since, pillars of the community, out to everyone else but Mom, who still refer to their lovers as something between a roommate and a valet. Just who is being protected here, and who thinks queer is wrong?

Paul Monette

#30. My first college roommate greeted me with a shocked silence followed by, 'So ... you're black.'

Al Roker

#31. When I hear homestyle, I always think of some guy in his underwear standing next to a microwave. You want me to nuke a hot dog for ya? I got some old Chinese in the fridge, but I think it's my roommate's.

Jim Gaffigan

#32. He tells about his Sudanese roommate at Georgetown who owned a prayer rug with a compass to find Mecca built right into it. "After a few weeks in America, he rolled it up and used the compass to go camping," Han says.

Diana Abu-Jaber

#33. She wondered how Dr. Watson - a clever man in his own right - had lasted so many years without bashing his roommate over the head out of sheer frustration.

Emma Jane Holloway

#34. And what else is she?" Jerome asked. Jazza didn't offer any reply so I chimed in with, "A bitchweasel?"
"A bitchweasel!" Jazza's face lit up. "She's a bitchweasel! I love my new roommate.

Maureen Johnson

#35. When 'Nevermind' came out, my roommate had the CD. At first, I actually thought, 'This is too polished and commercial.' It was a little off-putting. But then I was like, 'This is the best music ever.' It felt so close to what I wanted to do.

Rivers Cuomo

#36. She relived the frantic shopping and packing, the last teary gatherings with friends, the fear of a faceless roommate, the terror of academic failure. She also relived the excitement, because, in hindsight, going to college had been the single most pivotal point in her life.

Barbara Delinsky

#37. You remember my roommate, Brad, right?"
Since he made a nightly appearance in my dreams and was plastered all over my computer screen at home, yeah, I remembered him.

Rachel Hawthorne

#38. I gained the weight on purpose for 'Little Nicky,' and it was one of those cases where I'd done a few roles where I looked the same way, and I wanted to be the roommate because I thought that was the funniest part for me.

Allen Covert

#39. Having a baby is like suddenly getting the world's worst roommate.

Anne Lamott

#40. A good roommate may be the single most important thing to have when one is away at school.

Barbara Dana

#41. Well, you're my roommate. You've smoked my pot. That makes us bros. It's not really anything crazy, though. We just meet a couple times a week and fuck." "Just sex? You don't talk or anything? Or hang out?" "We usually smoke a bowl, fuck,

Jasinda Wilder

#42. Natto, Japanese ferment bean paste, will never cross my lips again. Spam Musubi, on the other hand, is something I love. I used to have a roommate of Vietnamese descent, and he would eat it all the time. It looked gross, but I finally had it - wrapped in seaweed and rice - it was terrific.

Adam Richman

#43. My roommate is a 240-pound homicidal hermit. For dinner he's fixing me a dead fox he scraped off the highway near Ponchatoula, and after that we're taking a leaky tin boat out on a windy lake to spy on some semi-retarded fishermen. Don't you wish you were here?

Carl Hiaasen

#44. I used to arm wrestle my roommate in college. Based on that, I'm in pretty good shape.

Dasha Zhukova

#45. Calling her mother who didn't seem particularly worried, but claimed she had no idea," Jett said. "The roommate's gone with her, so I can only

J.C. Reed

#46. Twice I'd come home as they were finishing, and, honestly, I cannot think of a lonelier sound on a Saturday night than one's roommate having a giant orgasm and then making an embarrassed sssh sound, realizing that maybe through her pleasure she'd heard the front door open and close.

Aimee Bender

#47. I had this roommate in college who would get up almost 2 hours before class to do hair and makeup. That's not for me.

Kim Raver

#48. Vengeance was one hell of a roommate.

J.R. Ward

#49. My wife and I met when each of us was dragged to a party we didn't want to go to by friends. I was coming off a bad injury, but my roommate insisted I get out of the house and be around people. God love our friends; we've been together 20 years now!

Michael Chiklis

#50. I used to keep my college roommate from reading my personal mail by hiding it in her textbooks.

Joan Walsh Anglund

#51. When I was in school, my former roommate went through hazing. I heard the stories, but I don't think I've seen a movie that captures the stuff that goes on.

Nick Jonas

#52. She thought I could find a way to save her soul when she died and became an undead. Right now, I was just looking to find the rent money. I'd get to my roommate's soul later.

Kim Harrison

#53. Before Simon could answer, he heard the sound of the front door opening. He looked daggers at Jace. "That's my roommate. Kyle. Be nice." Jace smiled charmingly. "I'm always nice.

Cassandra Clare

#54. Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates ... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, Do I know you?

Steven Wright