Top 72 Quotes About Shits
#1. I have grown into a Bestsellasaurus Rex - a big, stumbling book-beast that is loved when it shits money and hated when it tramples houses ... I started out as a storyteller; along the way I became an economic force.
Stephen King
#2. It's always a metaphor when a bird shits on your head.
Seth Kupchick
#3. The novice-friendly software is more like a misbehaving dog: it shits on the floor, it destroys things, and stinks - the novice-friendly software embodies the opposite of what computer people have dreamed of for decades: artificial stupidity. It's more human.
Erik Naggum
#4. Sunset was only thirty minutes gone when some pissant vampire waylaid Deacon on his way to Theriault's. One of those younger shits who wrote poetry to Mother Darkness and thought becoming a vampire would make him sparkle.
Meljean Brook
#5. Don't step on shits, don't be part of shits, don't shit on others as you escape from other bullshits." ~ Angelica Hopes, an excerpt from If I Could Tell You
Angelica Hopes
#6. The essential is to go on squirming forever at the end of the line, as long as there are waters and banks and ravening in heaven asporting God to plague his creature, per pro his chosen shits.
Samuel Beckett
#7. The Founding Fathers were nothing more than a bunch of snobby English shits.
Donald Freed
#9. They were all staring at him now, the way dumb shits sometimes did when you surprised them.
Scott Hawkins
#10. Bears shit in the woods, and everyone shits on Beartown
Fredrik Backman
#11. he appeared to have run out of shits to give sometime in the previous century. Today,
Ernest Cline
#12. Everything is better when it shits on a ritz.
Stephen King
#13. It's called joining the property market - and it shits on war for stress
Tyne O'Connell
#14. I'm a guy. I pee and I miss the toilet. I take shits. I eat cheeseburgers. I watch baseball and drink beer.
Jasinda Wilder
#15. Seagull owner?" "Flies in, shits on everything, and then leaves.
Ernie Lindsey
#16. You don't know shits I through in my life. You don't know how many times I've fucked. You don't know me.
Francisca Olivia
#17. When you're on a boat, 15 nautical miles off the coast and you're with a bunch of fishermen, they don't give two shits about who you are.
Tanc Sade
#18. Generally speaking, the best people nowadays go into journalism, the second best into business, the rubbish into politics and the shits into law
Auberon Waugh
#19. I ran up the street. All the way to Largo da Camara. Got there very tired. Mad, rather than tired. Uninvited old man. Little shits. They'll see who's the uninvited old man, motherfuckers.
Ignacio De Loyola Brandao
#20. I'm the happiness fairy. I just sprinkled happy dust on you. Now smile. This shits expensive.
Elle Christensen
#21. December 21, 1970 well, the amateur drunks have taken over and will hold this town until Jan. 2 ... driving on the wrong side of the street, running red lights, bellowing the same songs. figs of people, twigs of people, shits of people ... MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY NEW YEAR. Christomighty, yeah.
Charles Bukowski
#23. Jake, we haven't tried for awhile."
"Tried what?"
"Just to walk out."
"No."
"Why haven't we?"
"Because we're in a place where a horse shits rainbows."
"Right.
Graham Joyce
#24. It is at work everywhere, functioning smoothly at times, at other times in fits and starts. It breathes, it heats, it eats. It shits and fucks. What a mistake to have ever said the id.
Gilles Deleuze
#25. The Shits played raucous music, which was danced to by immature virgins in middleless dresses.
Robert Sheckley
#26. satisfied. Satisfaction is like a fucking unicorn that shits glitter and diamonds. It doesn't exist.
Stevie J. Cole
#27. Our experiments have simply not yet been fruitful and have caused negative side effects." "Negative side effects?" echoed Sam, disbelievingly. "It's not like they've got the shits or something, is it? They're deformed and half out of their minds.
Suzanne Wright
#28. Black boots, said Rawlins. Aint that the shits? I always wanted to be a badman.
Cormac McCarthy
#29. Say, darling, I'm giving you this wonderful present, it's a machine that eats at one end and shits out the other, it's going to run for fifteen years, give or take, merry fucking Christmas.
Stephen King
#30. Chihuahuas are the perfect pet if you don't have a person in your life who screams and shits their pants every time there's a noise.
Dana Gould
#31. I can claim copyright only in myself, and occasionally in those who are either dead or have written about the same events, or who have a decent expectation of anonymity, or who are such appalling public shits that they have forfeited their right to bitch.
Christopher Hitchens
#32. Our general repression of matters disgusting prevents us facing up to a serious health problem. If we are the 'god that shits,' then we are in full flight from ourselves. I even wonder whether religion itself and the whole idea of a god is produced by our self-disgust.
Colin McGinn
#33. It's difficult to continue loving someone who shits on you.
Gene Wilder
#34. Is it two? Three? Leave a good tip, Imma blow all my money and don't give two shits.
Nicki Minaj
#35. When life shits on you, sometimes you have to be your own superhero.
S.C. Stephens
#36. Since killing people is illegal, can I have a Taser just for shits and giggles? -Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet
Darynda Jones
#37. It's mind-blowing and delicious and better
than finding a pot of gold, a unicorn, and a leprechaun who shits diamonds at
the end of a rainbow.
Tara Sivec
#38. Well, kid, I have seen the future and it shits.
Larry Kramer
#39. We're all gonna lie, we're all gonna cry, and we're all gonna take painful shits.
Dane Cook
#40. I could give two shits about who sits on what throne and what flag rises from Rune's towers. Whoever it is I have to kneel to is always going to be some vicious swindler who climbed into that throne on the backs of the poor, the broken and the dead.
David Benem
#41. Listen, punk. To me you're nothin' but dogshit, you understand? And a lot of things can happen to dogshit. It can be scraped up with a shovel off the ground. It can dry up and blow away in the wind. Or it can be stepped on and squashed. So take my advice and be careful where the dog shits ya!
Clint Eastwood
#42. So that individuation may be compared to a pyramid in that it is only achieved by the placement of the top stone ... The Jews, Ford said. They ain't like anyone else I know. There goes you theory up shits creek. He smiled.
E.L. Doctorow
#43. it runs afoul of what i call the birdshit rule. you know, how people say it's good luck if a bird shits on you? and people believe it! i just want to grab them and say, 'dude, don't you realize this whole superstition was made up
John Green
#44. JACKIE. I swear to God: Being in love with Veronica - it's like feeding your love to Godzilla every morning, and every morning you go "Yo, 'Zilla, these shits are very delicate so please chew softly", - and every morning - the motherfucker just goes crunch!
Stephen Adly Guirgis
#46. A coprophage calls for a plate, shits on it and eats the shit, exclaiming, Mmmm, that's my rich substance.
William S. Burroughs
#47. Ryan Refereeing to Ian Somerhold:
He Shits too, you know
Tina Reber
#48. A cockroach has no soul. Yet it runs and eats and shits and fucks and breeds. It has no soul, yet it lives a full life. Just like you.
David Wong
#49. Great Paddy Shits in the Mornin', Elora! He's a vampire! No' a stray dog!
Victoria Danann
#50. It makes me wonder what this rapping shits a hobby for, oh that's right, because I'm gifted in another field, and another field, and another field.
Donald Glover
#51. I used to have Santa and the whole coal thing, but between Wade and their father, the little shits get whatever they want. They no longer feel like they need the fat bastard!
Ethan Day
#52. You know, how people say it's good luck if a bird shits on you? and people believe it! i just want to grab them and say, 'dude, don't you realize this whole superstition was made up because no one could think of anything else good to say to a person who'd just been shit upon?
David Levithan
#54. That dog'll roll in the snow, run in the snow, eat the damn snow, but he wont throught it to shit. I dont clear the path, he shits right by the door. Why is that?
Ryder asked.
Owen replied, "Hence the name."
The name of Ryder's dog ... Dumbass ...
Nora Roberts
#55. No matter how beautiful a girl is, she still shits.
Dave Mustaine
#56. There is something reassuring about the toilets. Bodily functions at least remain democratic. Everybody shits.
Margaret Atwood
#57. Right, cause I'm bleeding all over the place for shits and giggles.
Julie Kagawa
#58. Oys by civil calculations, we had by now roughed up the swami and slept where the elephant shits, Shocking us would have required some kind of genius.
Woe To Live On
Daniel Woodrell
#59. Nerds always say they don't give a shit about popularity; but - not having friends sucks. I never liked quote unquote cool kids, personally - I thought they were all dumb little shits.
John Green
#60. But it seems that the most beautiful women always go for the most horrible shits, the most obvious fakes.
Charles Bukowski
#61. I mean, reality sucks. The world is a cancer, and shits so bad it's scary. Everything's filthy. But you know what? One day, it's not going to be here. So be glad you know what life is. You're alive. Live.
Mitch Lucker
#62. Artists are mostly shits of the worst order. You wouldn't want one living next door to you. Think about it: Vincent Van Gogh living next door, coming over to borrow your ear and a cup of sugar every morning-Good God!
Stan Brakhage
#63. May they all be stricken with the screaming fire-shits. He sipped his
Scott Lynch
#64. Jesus. Why couldn't he have had boys? All boys. Little fucking shits like Cage. A whole slew of 'em he could throw condoms at and be done with it.
Madeline Sheehan
#65. As I rise from my seat, my notes almost fly to the floor. I quickly clutch them to my body before I awkwardly enter the interview room in a fucked-up-question-mark posture, walking as though I'm ten shits behind.
Danielle Esplin
#66. Elsa decides that even if people she likes have been shits on earlier occasions, she has to learn to carry on liking them. You'd quickly run out of people if you had to disqualify all those who at some point have been shits.
Fredrik Backman
#67. Look, you couldn't pay me to listen to their music, but I still feel like I have more in common with Insane Clown Posse than I do with someone who just sits on the sidelines and shits on other people's work and who never puts themselves on the line.
Tom Scharpling
#68. What do you want me to call them? Shits and Giggles? Fists and Kneecap? Nah, I don't like that one. Hammer and Nails? Dude, these kids are hard-core gangster. They need kick-A names, not that blah, blah sh-crap you gave them. - William
Gena Showalter
#69. Sometimes i pretend to be childish just for some shits!
Kimmy
#70. Mr. S was finally retiring this year, which was a good thing, because he appeared to have run out of shits to give sometime in the previous century.
Ernest Cline
#72. I always hoped that I would settle down with someone. Marriage, I could really give two shits about, as an institution, but it makes things easier.
Dale Peck
