Top 100 Quotes About Irs
#1. I took the one letter he had for us. It was from the Switchblade Gas & Electric Company. I didn't know I had admirers there too, but I wasn't that surprised. I threw it in the trash with the IRS's love letters and closed the door without reply.
The Harvard Lampoon
#2. Low-income taxpayers deserve the same rights as everyone else. It was wrong of the IRS to target low-income taxpayers, and I am please by the decision to correct this unfair practice.
Christopher Dodd
#3. Anybody who is familiar with the historical data from the IRS knows that raising income tax rates will likely actually reduce federal revenues.
Mike Pence
#4. Most voters would rather have their purse or wallet stolen than be audited by the IRS.
Frank Luntz
#5. Why can't Americans do their own taxes? Because the federal Tax Code is out of control, that's why. It's gigantic and insanely complex, and it gets worse all the time. Nobody has ever read the whole thing. IRS workers are afraid to go into the same ROOM with it.
Dave Barry
#6. Article II of the articles of impeachment against Richard Nixon was just the simple fact that he talked about and suggested the potential use of the IRS against one or two political opponents.
Monica Crowley
#7. I hate it. I just do. That [artificial turf], local news, the IRS, and hair dryers are the four worst inventions of the century.
Beano Cook
#8. We don't want the efficiency of the federal government and the compassion of the IRS to run our health care.
Todd Akin
#9. I was going to start off tonight with an Obama joke, but I
don't want to get audited by the IRS.
Jay Leno
#10. The money was going to come and go, between a wife and the IRS. The thrill of beating the best field in golf is what will always stay with me.
Calvin Peete
#11. From the IRS standpoint, 15,000 new employees have to be added just to, you know, administer ObamaCare and look at the tax implications.
Jeff Fitzgerald
#12. I have often thought that the difference between a cult and a religion is an IRS ruling.
Ron Barrier
#13. Obama's IRS is not the IRS I've ever known for over seventy years as an American citizen.
Michael Moriarty
#14. It's a game. We tax lawyers teach the rich how to play it so they can stay rich-and the IRS keeps changing the rules so we can keep getting rich teaching them.
John Grisham
#15. Form 1040 was chosen by the IRS because for every $50 you earn, you get 10 and they get 40.
Jay Leno
#16. The IRS is currently considering a rule that would make it easier for tax preparers to disclose the private information contained in tax returns - including name, address, Social Security number, employer, income, and charitable donations.
Melissa Bean
#17. Dear IRS, I am writing to cancel my subscription. Please remove my name from your mailing list.
Charles M. Schulz
#18. My last divorce was in '68. What made it come to a head was a promise. See, I had promised her that the next year I wouldn't work as much. But then I got in trouble with the IRS, and I had to continue working just as much to pay the government. So she said I lied, which is something I never did.
B.B. King
#19. I'd once overheard my daddy tell my momma that the six Winston boys had inherited their father's ability to charm snakes, the IRS, and women.
Penny Reid
#20. The real problem with the IRS is that they let General Electric not pay any taxes
and 50 other corporations
that's the real scandal
Michael Moore
#21. When preparing your return, you should be sure to avoid common mistakes. The two most common taxpayer mistakes, states the IRS booklet, are (1) "failure to include a current address," and (2) "failure to be a large industry that gives humongous contributions to key tax-law-writing congresspersons."
Dave Barry
#22. Every day, IRS agents levy liens on homes, bank accounts, and businesses; they confiscate cars, furniture, boats, and other personal property without the constitutional protections of due notice, hearing, and due process. If a person forcibly resists, government agents kill him for resisting arrest.
Jacob G. Hornberger
#23. The cost of taxpayer compliance with [the tax code] is over $80 billion per year, more than eight times the cost of the IRS budget
Charles O. Rossotti
#24. Make no mistake, tax cheaters cheat us all, and the IRS should enforce our laws to the letter.
Tom Daschle
#25. Long before Wesley Snipes decided he didn't need to pay the IRS, Willie Nelson was dodging the tax men.
Shawn Amos
#26. Only in America does 'health' 'care' 'reform' begin with the hiring of 16,500 new IRS agents tasked with determining whether your insurance policy merits a fine.
Mark Steyn
#27. Print neatly. That's the kind of advice that the IRS considers a "dynamite" tax tip. If you ask them a real tax question, such as how you can cheat, they're useless.
Dave Barry
#28. Grandchildren: the only people who can get more out of you than the IRS.
Gene Perret
#29. Huguette Clark has had her own tax liens - four times, the IRS has filed to collect taxes from her.
Bill Dedman
#30. The IRS says it's been getting death threats since the health care bill passed because the IRS is going to be the ones in charge of implementing it. They say the threats people are making to the IRS are so bad, that they are actually hindering the IRS's ability to threaten people.
Jay Leno
#31. The Internal Revenue Service is more ruthless than the Gestapo. Abolish the IRS! Stamp out organized crime!
Evel Knievel
#32. Musicians now find themselves in the unlikely position of being legitimate. At least the IRS thinks so.
Billy Joel
#33. We must get rid of the IRS. It's a bureaucracy fraught with totalitarianism.
Sonny Bono
#34. The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!
Jerry Seinfeld
#35. 1913 wasn't a very good year. 1913 gave us the income tax, the 16th amendment and the IRS.
Ron Paul
#36. Another agency - the IRS - did not do as well under Republicans who control Congress. The IRS is largely flatlined in their spending, but they did get about 300 million more funding. But I can only be used to help people pay their taxes and answer questions. It can't be used for any other purpose.
Susan Davis
#37. What am I afraid of? The IRS. That's it. I don't want those people knockin' on my door, man.
Tracy Morgan
#38. I played so bad, I got a get-well card from the IRS.
Johnny Miller
#39. The only people helped by the death tax are lawyers, accountants, and IRS agents.
Bob Schaffer
#40. The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hotlines staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly.
Dave Barry
#41. What do I need it for, millions of dollars? It just sounds like problems with the IRS to me.
Burt Shavitz
#42. For restaurants that have a minimum gratuity charge on large groups, the IRS will now count those tips as regular wages rather than traditional tips that we are all familiar with when we dine out. Ask any server, and they will tell you that this will directly affect their day-to-day lifestyle.
Kevin McCarthy
#43. When you look at the government, when the government collects a buck, it's not free. They have to spend resources, the IRS, audits, all this sort of crap, to collect the dollar. I'm not assuming any Laffer curve effect here at all. There are just transactions costs of collecting that money.
Arthur Laffer
#44. Please understand what the IRS scandal is about: Using the government to shut down opponents
Dennis Prager
#45. Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what's called a red flag. That's something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes. That's a red flag
Jay Leno
#46. Uh-huh. You know with that sinister tone you should look into working for the IRS. I'm sure they're desperate for people who can cow others with a single growl. (Susan)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#47. The IRS sent back my tax return saying I owed $800. I said If you'll notice, I sent a paper clip with my return. Given what you've been paying for things lately, that should more than make up the difference.
Emo Philips
#48. She liked to steal - so what. She could kill without blinking - again, so what. It wasn't like she worked for the IRS or anything - Bianka
Gena Showalter
#49. Finally, the House is working to require a comprehensive federal review of IRS regulations with a follow-up report to Congress on possible actions to reduce the tax paperwork burden imposed on small businesses.
Michael K. Simpson
#50. Families will now have to prove to the IRS that they have Washington-approved and government-mandated insurance.
John Barrasso
#51. The fact that our government is using instruments of government like the IRS to punish its opponents, this is not the kind of thing that is a Democrat or a Republican issue. This is an American issue ... A lot of people do not feel free to express themselves.
Ben Carson
#52. The IRS takes your money. Congress uses our money to arm our enemies. The IRS takes more of your money. Congress uses that money to fight the enemies Congress just armed.
Justin Amash
#53. In many cases, Obama's exercise of authoritarian power is criminal. His executive branch is responsible for violations of the Arms Export Control Act in shipping weapons to Syria, the Espionage Act in Libya, and IRS law with regard to the targeting of conservative groups.
Ben Shapiro
#54. There are more words in the IRS code than there are in the Bible. And not a one of them is as good.
Ted Cruz
#55. The IRS has become morally corrupted by the enormous power which we in Congress have unwisely entrusted to it. Too often it acts like a Gestapo preying upon defenseless citizens.
Edward V. Long
#56. There is a way for the IRS to be able to have a double check to make sure individuals don't file on your Social Security number early and try to get a tax return and make it chaotic for you to file your own taxes. That's not been done.
James Lankford
#57. Mandatory sentencing guidelines have become as complicated and detailed as the IRS code!
Harold H. Greene
#58. I think the terror most people are concerned with is the IRS.
Malcolm Forbes
#59. The IRS says it wants to make sure companies can give their employees a choice between a new cash balance plan and the traditional defined benefit plan. The real question here is whether companies should be required to give their workers that choice.
Bernie Sanders
#60. Top IRS officials specifically targeted tea party groups and misled the public about its secret political targeting program led by ex-official Lois Lerner, according to a bombshell new congressional report.
Patrick Howley
#61. I've enjoyed much success. The IRS is always at my door, constantly.
KRS-One
#62. The government doesn't want us to have weapons and yet, they have weapons. I think the biggest weapon they have is the IRS [Internal Revenue Service]. They can use taxes as a weapon, and the IRS code that you can't even figure it out.
Glenn Beck
#63. I want to find a voracious, small-minded predator and name it after the IRS.
Robert T. Bakker
#64. Isn't it nice of the IRS to tell the media where to ambush me before they tell me that the U.S. Attorney is suing me?
Cindy Sheehan
#65. We have FCC, abandoned alimony payments, assault and battery, Homeland Security escalation, and that's before we invite the IRS to take a walk on your wild side.
Ken Goldstein
#66. You from the IRS? The man's voice was deep and wet, like mud slipping down a drain.
Carl Hiaasen
#67. When you come into the world you have nothing ... when you leave you have nothing ... and in between there's the IRS.
Bob Thaves
#68. With vivid memories of the last IRS form I had signed, I agreed sympathetically that a two percent tax rate was a positive outrage, wondering to myself just what had become of the fiery spirit of American taxpayers over the intervening two hundred years.
Diana Gabaldon
#70. Obamacare has made the government part of our health care decisions. The IRS controls all of our financial information. The NSA apparently sees everything else.
Ben Shapiro
#71. Some of you in this room support higher taxes. I welcome your enthusiasm and am glad to report that the IRS takes both money orders and checks.
George W. Bush
#72. Nothing guarantees more applause and more support than the call to abolish the IRS.
Frank Luntz
#73. While you're alive, the IRS will attempt to take what you've made. When you're not, the IRS will attempt to take what it missed.
Charles J. Givens
#74. And to you taxpayers out there, let me say this: Make sure you file your tax return on time! And remember that, even though income taxes can be a 'pain in the neck,' the folks at the IRS are regular people just like you, except that they can destroy your life
Dave Barry
#75. I have no evidence of any relationship between IRS and NSA.
Barton Gellman
#76. I bought all my friends guitars and I had a good time with my money. But then one day the IRS came knocking.
Janis Ian
#77. Those who advocate either slavery or income taxation should be ashamed of themselves. Genuine freedom entails the abolition, not the reform, of income taxation and the IRS, just as genuine freedom entailed the abolition, not the reform, of slavery.
Jacob G. Hornberger
#78. Let's abolish the IRS, let's eliminate income tax, let's eliminate corporate tax, let's balance the federal budget, and if we need a tax, it can be one federal consumption tax.
Gary Johnson
#79. The more expansive government is, the more perils people face in daily lives, be it from IRS agents or from child support services, or from other agencies that often have little or no legal restraints on their power.
James Bovard
#80. The IRS'll never sweat me or even put up a fight ...
Cause I'm sure I've paid more in taxes than you've made in yo' life!
Ludacris
#81. Reports also suggest that Ernst and Young and other large tax preparation firms are sending tax returns overseas for processing. But the IRS has no control over tax information once it's been sent to India or another country.
Melissa Bean
#82. I have not done anything wrong. I have not broken any laws. I have not violated any IRS rules or regulations and I have not provided false information to this or any other committee.
Lois Lerner
#83. 'Tax Collector' was optioned for a series with F/X, but it never happened. I guess they ran into a problem trying to figure out why someone would tune in to watch a show about a guy who works for the IRS.
Rick Yancey
#84. Today is April 1, April Fools' Day, a day that people try to fool their friends and relatives. Don't confuse that with April 15, when people try to fool the IRS.
Jay Leno
#85. No matter what federal program one selects - Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, the drug war, the income tax and the IRS, education, foreign interventions and wars - they are all a giant mess.
Jacob G. Hornberger
#86. Do you know who will be in charge of health care? The IRS. You thought getting audited was bad? Wait until your next prostate exam.
Jay Leno
#87. You'll note that politicians no longer spend money, they invest it. Don't worry about paying more to the [IRS]. You aren't being taxed; you're taking a plunge on a fly-by-night stock issue.
P. J. O'Rourke
#88. Getting a tax refund is nice, but having more money year-round is better. If you get a chunk of change from the IRS, you're giving the government an interest-free loan - not something they, or any bank, would ever give you. Instead, change your withholding so you get a little extra in each paycheck.
Jean Chatzky
#89. Previous presidents, including great ones like Roosevelt, have used the IRS against their enemies. But I don't think Barack Obama ever wanted to be on the same page as Richard Nixon.
Joe Klein
#90. His clients ranged from the IRS to the mob.On one occasion the oil industry hired him to kill the inventor of a car which was fueled by depression. The moguls didn't know how to profit from such a cheap and abundant resource.
Steve Aylett
#91. The high-handed bureaucratic excesses of the IRS are a national disgrace ... riding roughshod over the taxpayers and making a joke out of our rule of laws.
Paul Laxalt
#92. By the way, when I say cut taxes, I don't mean fiddle with the code. I mean abolish the income tax and the IRS, and replace them with nothing.
Ron Paul
#93. The only two things that scare me are God and the IRS.
Dr. Dre
#94. Yesterday the IRS announced that obese Americans are entitled to certain tax breaks. Apparently, under the new rules, you're allowed to claim two or more chins as dependents.
Conan O'Brien
#95. The Daily Caller has obtained an advance copy of a House Oversight and Government Reform Committee report set to be released Tuesday morning that definitively proves malicious intent by the IRS to improperly block conservative groups that an IRS adviser deemed 'icky.'
Patrick Howley
#96. It is my belief that one's salary is between an individual and the IRS.
Jessica Savitch
#97. The IRS wants you to use this form because it gets to keep most of your money. So unless you have pond silt for brains, you want the long form.
Dave Barry
#98. Remember: If the IRS suspects you haven't reported income, it can challenge returns from the past six years. So if you are self-employed or have multiple income sources, hold on to six years of files to be absolutely safe.
Suze Orman
#99. Warren Buffett's company reportedly owes the IRS a billion dollars in back taxes. When he said he wasn't paying enough taxes, he wasn't kidding.
Jay Leno
#100. Jay Carney, whose unenviable job is not to explain but to explain away what his employers say, calls the IRS's behavior "inappropriate. " No, using the salad fork for the entree is inappropriate. Using the Internal Revenue Service for political purposes is a criminal offense.
George Will
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