Quotes About Fruitcake

#1. The easiest way to make a fruitcake is to buy a darkish cake, then pound some old, hard fruit into it with a mallet. Be sure to wear safety glasses.

Dave Barry

#2. The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.

Johnny Carson

#3. A woman without a past is like a fruitcake without brandy - insipid!

Nancy Atherton

#4. Bring on the fruitcakes, we want a fruitcake for an unlovable seat.

Matthew Parris

#5. Declare this smite time, extracting precious gems and wholly hours you share to fruitcake a friend so dear.

Bradley Chicho

#6. I would eat fruitcake if there'd been a nuclear war and I'd run out of canned goods.

Deb Caletti

#7. Franchot Tone is nuttier than a fruitcake, so don't let the genteel frosting fool you.

Burgess Meredith

#8. Most people don't ever want to use a gun to protect themselves - that's the last thing they want to do - but if you know how and you have a situation with some fruitcake running around, like they've got right now, it sure can save you a lot of grief.

Murphy J. Foster Jr.

#9. Wonderful. Gives a whole new meaning to flour power. You'll undoubtedly change the world, one fruitcake at a time.

Kimberly Frost

#10. It is amazing how the world can change, he thought, during the life span of a fruitcake.

Robert M. Edsel

#11. You're going to set us all on fire, you homicidal feral fruitcake.

Melina Marchetta

#12. The ultimate in longevity is the Christmas fruitcake. It is a cake made during the holidays with fruits that make it heavier than the stove it is cooked in.

Erma Bombeck

#13. Oh, these people's minds work in strange ways, Petunia, they're not like you and me, said Uncle Vernon, trying to knock in a nail with the piece of fruitcake Aunt Petunia had just brought him.

J.K. Rowling

#14. I like my fruitcake like I like my men. I like them to have tasty nuts, usually cum in a box, and last forever.

Mamrie Hart

#15. Reality is like a fruitcake; pretty enough to look at but with all sorts of nasty things lurking just beneath the surface.

A. Lee Martinez

#16. There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us.

Jimmy Buffett

#17. So you really could die. Your godmother is right, you know. You are mad as a hatter. Nutty as a fruitcake." "Crazy like a fox," I said.

Jim Butcher

#18. Friends are the fruitcake of life - some nutty, some soaked in alcohol, some sweet.

Jon Ronson

#19. So you, too, like fruitcake? (RW on meeting Lenin in Zurich during World War I.)

Robert Walser

#20. You little fruitcake, you little fruitcake, I said you are a fruitcake.

Pete Stark

#21. Political advice is a bit like your average Christmas fruitcake: something everyone gives and no one wants.

Bob Dole

#22. it's fruitcake weather!

Truman Capote

#23. I am not a morose person, but I would rather not be here. I don't have any reverence for life, only for the entities themselves. I would rather see a blank space where I am. This will sound like fruitcake stuff again but at least I wouldn't be harming anything.

Ingrid Newkirk

#24. You are nuttier than a fruitcake, that's what you are!

L.T. Suzuki

#25. The best thing about flying first class ... was that you could be as nutty as a fruitcake and were still treated like the Queen of Sheba.

Sarah-Kate Lynch

#26. The thing with children is they're a bit like baking a fruitcake: you throw all the ingredients in but you never know how they're going to turn out.

Len Goodman

#27. Bite me, faerie fruitcake.

Jim Butcher

#28. Fruitcake is like semen, there's a lot of it about but no one wants to swallow it

Oscar Wilde

#29. If you make Josh's dumb white- chocolate cranberry cookies and not my fruitcake ones, it's over.

Jenny Han

#30. Call my cynical...but I've come to believe that most people who follow a total wack job aren't always true believers. They just like to follow. They like the perks. Makes them feel strong. Kind of weakens your faith in fruitcake fanatics.

Jonathan Maberry

#31. Have you ever known anyone who bought a fruitcake for himself? Of course not. They are purchased as Christmas gifts, mostly for people you don't particularly like.

Phyllis Diller

#32. I must speak the truth, and nothing but the truth.

Miguel De Cervantes

#33. I mean UKIP, I mean it's just a sort of, you know, bunch of fruitcakes and loonies and closet racists, basically.

David Cameron