Top 44 Quotes About Family Humorous
#1. Let me get one thing straight; I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice; no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh ... like uh ... like ... uh ... well, I'll think of it later.
George Burns
#3. When you walk on a court, clear your mind of everything unrelated to the goal of playing the match as well as you can.
Stan Smith
#5. You didn't have to come."
"Of course I did. What kind of a friend and mentor would I be if I went drinking without you?
Clay Griffith
#6. Creating art is painful. It takes time, practice, and the courage to stand alone.
Maria Semple
#7. We do things hopefully because they add life to our living, but not with the illusion they will help us escape death when our time comes.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
#8. Three things happened in 1945. Daddy went missing, Annie started wetting the bed, and the Lester girl sang about Hitler in the middle of Sunday service.
Sarina Adeline
#9. Overflowing with the milk of human kindness, the family had invited everyone they could think of, including people they cordially disliked.
Gerald Durrell
#10. Communication is something so simple and difficult that we can never put it in simple words.
T.S. Mathews
#11. " ... It is not my desire to wound the feelings of any person with whom I am connected in family bonds. I may be a hypocrite," said Mr. Pecksniff, cuttingly, "but I am not a brute."
Charles Dickens
#12. I want you back here now. I want you next to me now. I cannot believe that my family, your brother, all our friends, and an entire police force can't keep tabs on one twenty-six year old graphic designer who thinks he's fuckin' Batman.
Detective Sam Kage in A Matter Of Time (vol 2 or part 4)
Mary Calmes
#13. The oddly shaped man had introduced himself as a Mr. Abernathy, a wealthy friend of the family. "I'm a wealthy friend of the family," he had said. "Very rich. Friendly.
Jordan Stratford
#14. Large offers and sturdy rejections are among the most common topics of falsehood.
Samuel Johnson
#15. Family we cannot always choose, but it sure is fun to try and make them laugh during dinners. Especially when they are trying to eat their soup.
Tom Althouse
#16. When Uncle W. G. held out his hand to take my money, I dropped the dead mouse in his hand.
Earl B. Russell
#18. She would seize every opportunity to dive into the bathroom, in a swirl of white towels, and once in there she was as hard to dislodge as a limpet from a rock.
Gerald Durrell
#19. I was stark raving mad, and my family was too polite to mention it. That's what living with the Yamanis does to people. They get so well-mannered they won't mention you're crazy.
Tamora Pierce
#20. You think you have a handle on God, the Universe, and the Great White Light until you go home for Thanksgiving. In an hour, you realize how far you've got to go and who is the real turkey.
Shirley Maclaine
#21. I like to do designs on the side of my face, or cut out foil stickers from the crafts store and put them on my forehead.
Khloe Kardashian
#22. Our atheist thoughts go out to his family following their loss.
Brian Spellman
#23. He had a bushy unibrow that could house a family of quail.
Lida Sideris
#24. You didn't just accidentally win my favor," I dispute, slowly shaking my
forehead against his.
"You earned it. Now, if I can just save your life twenty or thirty more times ... We might actually be able to call it even.
M.A. George
#25. When your psychiatrist forgets to look at the clock and is hanging on your every word, that's when you know, out of all his patients, you are the sickest. He
Augusten Burroughs
#26. A gold cage is still a cage.
-King David I
Oh, go cry in a bag of money.
-Queen Christina
MaryJanice Davidson
#27. My uncle, Mr. Stephen Maple, had been at the same time the most successful and the least respectable of our family, so that we hardly knew whether to take credit for his wealth or to feel ashamed of his position.
Arthur Conan Doyle
#28. In my family nudity just doesn't exist; I'm pretty sure my parents were both born fully clothed and still shower that way.
Huston Piner
#29. I've got a collection of songs that I've had, I keep adding to and they're all great American composers. I wanted to showcase American composers and I've done that on a lot of my records and played things by American composers that I really respect.
Charlie Haden
#30. Doubt is a lot like faith; A mustard's seed worth changes everything.
Donna Johnson
#31. My dad is a very quick-witted, sarcastic, dry, humorous guy, whereas my mom's very silly, and that side of the family is very musical.
Tim Heidecker
#32. It is hard to think that a $2 billion company with 4,300-plus people couldn't compete with six people in blue jeans.
Steve Jobs
#33. Abandon all hopes of utopia - there are people involved.
Clayton Cramer
#34. Whether it was the delicious food they filled us with, their humorous antics, or the extreme warmth and acceptance they provided the family, one thing is for sure, nothing could replace the love for and the love felt from Italian grandmothers.
Jacqueline Miconi
#35. I know a member of one of New York's first families (first as you drive up Tenth Avenue)
Groucho Marx
#36. I mean, shit, what Latino family doesn't think it's cursed?
Junot Diaz
#37. But at home he was our humorous, kind, and wise Dad. He loved reading, and he loved including the whole family in his discoveries. He
Ji-li Jiang
#38. You don't kill your ego. You overcome it by loving other people. And for that you need both ego and super-ego.
Robin Sacredfire
#39. Our ancestors are very good kind of folks; but they are the last people I should choose to have a visiting acquaintance with.
Richard Brinsley Sheridan
#40. I haven't heard any music on the BBC World Service in a long time. Maybe I'm listening at the wrong times. But not one single piece of music.
Aung San Suu Kyi
#41. When I say "dogs", I'm talking about dogs, which are large, bounding, salivating animals, usually with bad breath. I am not talking about those little squeaky things you can hold on your lap and carry around. Zoologically speaking, these are not dogs at all; they are members of the pillow family.
Dave Barry
#42. The Hawaiian Islands were discovered by hardy Polynesian sailors, who crossed thousands of miles of open ocean in primitive canoes, braving violent storm-tossed seas for months at a time. My family and I arrived by modern commercial aviation, which was infinitely worse.
Dave Barry
#43. An Odonian's goal is positive, not negative. Suffering is dysfunctional, except as a bodily warning against danger. Psychologically and socially it's merely destructive.
Ursula K. Le Guin
#44. Why do these big old country houses always have family portraits in the dining room? Do you really want to eat with someone's gloomy great-grandfather looking down on you?
Elizabeth Jane Howard
