Huston Piner Quotes

#1. In my family nudity just doesn't exist; I'm pretty sure my parents were both born fully clothed and still shower that way.

Huston Piner

#2. I studied how to use the clothes washer. The handy instructions on the lid helped; so did the box of suds. It instructed me to separate the whites from the coloreds. Laundry will be the last American institution to desegregate.

Huston Piner

#3. Chadham's idea of an open-minded, modern town had no room for faggots. Being gay made you about as welcome as a turd in the swimming pool.
Piner, Huston (2015-05-12). Light in Endless Darkness (Kindle Locations 25-26). Torquere Press. Kindle Edition.

Huston Piner

#4. On Algebra - We're a month into it, and I'm planning to start a real protest movement, one to have X and Y removed from the alphabet. Z is also suspect as far as I'm concerned ... Damn it! They put a man on the moon; can't they find some way to end the scourge of Algebra?

Huston Piner

#5. I used to think passion and love were pretty much the same thing, but they're not. Physical contact may feed passion, but it can't feed a starving soul
only love can do that.

Huston Piner

#6. And it's not like I'm the only guy in history to ever get a hard on in a high school locker room; for a lot of guys it's just a natural reaction to the cool moist air. But the trouble is that around certain guys, I'm radically reactionary.

Huston Piner

#7. And then there's my brother Wally; he's four years younger than me, and he's the classic younger brother
a turd. The Turd is kind of like that old nursery rhyme about snails and puppy dog tails; he's got the intelligence of a slug and he's about as well house-trained as a Chihuahua.

Huston Piner

#8. Wally, stop playing with your beans."
Mom is participating in a nightly ritual that never changes. Tonight, The Turd's picking up lima beans, sniffing each one, and burying it in his mashed potatoes.
"I'm not playing with them," he says, matter-of-factly. "I'm checking them for fleas.

Huston Piner

#9. There's a great Lebanese restaurant a few blocks over. They have the best shawarma in the world."
"What's shawarma?"
"You know what a gyro is?"
"No."
"Same thing.

Huston Piner

#10. Reputations seldom deliver on promises of happiness.

Huston Piner

#11. Wednesday is pizza day at Chadham High. The lunchroom smells like a cross between a sewer and a dead skunk. Chadham High pizza consists of a cardboard crust and sauce made of mud, topped with some kind of fungus that looks suspiciously like phlegm pretending to be cheese.

Huston Piner

#12. At Chadham High, the safest place to be gay was in the closet.

Huston Piner