Top 100 Quotes About Drunks
#1. Up and down the lanes, the last unevacuated townspeople wake, groan, sigh. Spinsters, prostitutes, men over sixty. Procrastinators, collaborators, disbelievers, drunks. Nuns of every order. The poor. The stubborn. The blind.
Anthony Doerr
#2. God favors drunks, small children, and the cataclysmically stoned ...
Stephen King
#3. My sister is running away to get lost, but I am running away because I want to find something. And my parents love me so much that they want to help me. Yeah, Dad is a drunk and Mom is an ex-drunk, but they don't want their kids to be drunks.
Sherman Alexie
#4. The airline industry is full of bullshitters, liars and drunks. We excel at all three in Ireland.
Michael O'Leary
#5. Booze is the greatest of all equalizers. Rich drunks and poor drunks both pass out the same way.
Chuck Klosterman
#6. Hutter thought, not for the first time, that she hated a lot of cops. Ugly, mean drunks who believed the worst of everyone.
Joe Hill
#7. In this town of towheaded drunks, [his daughter] would bear the weight of her difference, doled out in murmurs, taunts, and shoves. But now it occurred to Victor that she would suffer more than he ever had because, unlike him, she had been loved, and her punishment would come as a surprise.
Anya Ulinich
#8. For about three years I was performing at one bar in East Los Angeles that was like a mean dive bar. You're in there performing for drunks or bikers, not the most flattering people. I think it helped build my confidence, because you have to get their attention, then make them laugh.
Gabriel Iglesias
#9. Things got so bad that when I went shopping for a house, some people would refuse to open the door if they saw it was me standing there. And drunks would always want to challenge me.
Edward G. Robinson
#10. I only worked on Men of Honor for three weeks, but I walked away with so much. Because Bob is the kind of actor who gives you the opportunity to really go there. And we really had to go there. I mean, we were both playing drunks.
Charlize Theron
#11. Come, drunks and drug-takers; come perverts unnerved!
Receive the laurel, given, though late, on merit; to whom
and wherever deserved.
Parochial punks, trimmers, nice people, joiners true-blue,
Get the hell out of the way of the laurel. It is deathless
And it isn't for you.
Louise Bogan
#12. To the poor memories of drunks,' she said. 'To all the lovely nights forever lost.
S. Fitts
#13. Don't flatter yourself. It's hard not to notice when fifty drunks are chanting your name.
Jamie McGuire
#15. One of the first things that you learn as a stand-up is, you're the boss. It's your stage, and don't screw with me because I'll make you look bad, which I had to do, because you wind up with drunks and loud people.
Bob Newhart
#16. Why were drunks, almost always, persons of talent, personality, lovable qualities, gifts, brains, assets of all kinds (else why would anyone care?); why were so many brilliant men alcoholic?
Charles Jackson
#17. I know a lot more old drunks than old doctors.
Joe E. Lewis
#18. I only want to talk to you. The robbers are all in bed by now. Drunks, drifters, and poets are the only ones up this late at night.
Kurt Vonnegut
#19. The urge for Chinese food is always unpredictable: famous for no occasion, standard fare for no holiday, and the constant as to demand is either whim, the needy plebiscite of instantly famished drunks, or pregnancy.
Alexander Theroux
#20. Meanwhile the 3 a.m. drunks of the world would lay in their beds, trying in vain to sleep, and deserving that rest, if they could find it.
Charles Bukowski
#21. Drunks fear the police
but the police are drunk too.
Rumi
#22. The best drunks are the ones who only hang out with other drunks in places we all know are filled with drunks.
Greg Fitzsimmons
#23. We're like drunks in a barroom. No one's listening because everyone is too busy thinking about what they're going to say next, and absolutely prove that the current speaker is so full of shit he squeaks.
Stephen King
#24. dealing with drunks and hypes and homeless people who've got one foot in reality and the other in the Twilight Zone, you get used to seeing big changes in people, and usually not changes for the better. You teach yourself to see who's under the new bruises and the fresh coats of dirt.
Stephen King
#25. Russia drunks are the kindest people and the kindest people are drunks.
Anonymous
#26. We drank because we're drunks. We never get better. We get a daily reprieve based on our spiritual condition, and that's it.
Stephen King
#27. Rodney wasn't what you'd call eloquent, but he had a couple guys he used to drink with, so we got these bits of quadruple-drunk story: Rodney drunk when he told it, his friends drunk when they heard, then drunk again when they retold it to a bunch of drunks.
Kent Meyers
#28. You might get the impression from the specifics of my less than stellar career that all line cooks are wacked-out moral degenerates, dope fiends, refugees, a thuggish assortment of drunks, sneak thieves, sluts and psychopaths. You wouldn't be too far off base.
Anthony Bourdain
#29. Bringing up children was]like living with a bunch of drunks ... you really have to be on your toes all the time.
Tom Waits
#30. Nobody had seen a Djinni in decades. Now all it took to burn down a den of sin was a girl, a foreigner and a whole mess of drunks.
Alwyn Hamilton
#31. The worst years of my life were the first two years I was doing standup. You're learning how to do, and you're going on stage in front of two drunks and people aren't laughing and you're broke. That's a really hard time in your life.
Bill Maher
#32. God takes care of drunks and third basemen
Leo Durocher
#33. Love is a fiction, a fable, an ode spun by poets and drunks, a fantastical tale told across one thousand and one nights, it is the genie in the bottle, it is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, it's the lie designed to seduce you.
Lauren Blakely
#34. I knew how it was with drunks. They ran out of generosity, even for themselves.
Ross Macdonald
#35. New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.
Mark Twain
#36. Drunks do not have friends, but accomplices.
Mason Cooley
#37. Some friends are gossips and some are sloppy drunks. If you like them well enough, you ignore this trait and continue to be their friend.
Jennifer Close
#39. You know the expression 'God protects fools and drunks'? I qualify for both.
Lou Reed
#40. Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.
Will Rogers
#41. It was like two drunks in a back alley throwing punches at each other.
Eamon
#42. But I've mellowed over time, which is what all wine drunks and dope smokers say when trying to justify why they quit trying.
Chuck Klosterman
#43. My forte is playing drunks down the ages. When my agent rings me about a role, I don't ask what the part is, but what century it's in.
Johnny Vegas
#44. The sad fact is that the vast majority of drunks stay drunks. There's a small minority of us who reach that fork in the road where one side says 'live' and the other says 'drink'.
John Larroquette
#45. No, this was Philly. Drunks here boo Santa and get in more trouble than a dog with an Easter basket, and like the dog, they usually end up either sick or dead. Ah yes, another lovely eve in the big city.
Kym Grosso
#46. Drunks conjure an endless drama from their bottles.
Mason Cooley
#47. Quiet anger frightens me. The drunks, the idiots, the ones that rage easily - them I can handle. I know when to step out of their way. It's the ones that hold the anger in, the men that think about what they do and how they do it, that scare me. They're the ones that cause damage.
Katie McGarry
#48. This is the big reason most humorists fail. Drunks don't read books.
Garrison Keillor
#49. In Russia, drunks are our kindest people. Our kindest people are also the most drunk.
Fyodor Dostoyevsky
#50. How much better life must have been for jealous drunks before emails and texts and mobile phones, before all this electronica and the traces it leaves.
Paula Hawkins
#51. A young woman forced to keep drunks supplied with beer and siblings with clean underwear -instead of being allowed to pursue "something higher"- stores up great reserves of vitality, a vitality never dreamed of by university students yawning over their books.
Milan Kundera
#52. Fun drunks make a nice addition to any party. Not looking to fight. Not looking to score. Just looking to get drunk and laugh.
Jay Asher
#53. Living with kids is like living with a bunch of drunks. You know you really have to be on your toes all the time. Things are falling over and breaking and spilling. If you live on the second story, you really have to keep the windows shut all the time.
Tom Waits
#54. I believe all drunks go to heaven, because they've been through hell on Earth.
Liza Minnelli
#55. Better to be lumped in with gluttons and drunks than with image-conscious Pharisees.
Scott Sauls
#56. When cars honk and hoot and drunks squeeze out of car windows and scream, you can be sure that football is in the air.
Craig Brown
#57. God knows America would be the greatest again if she operated like the Nugent family. No takers, no whiners, no gangsters, no dopers, no drunks, no criminals, no bloodsuckers, no excuse makers, no crybabies, no punks, no Obama supporters.
Ted Nugent
#58. I didn't make a deal with God, because you can't make a deal with God. He put me here to talk to kids and to talk to drunks and help addicts. He gave me this "job" which makes it a lot easier to get through to people.
Danny Trejo
#59. Parties sickened me. I hated the game-playing, the dirty play, the flirting, the amateurs drunks, the bores.
Charles Bukowski
#60. As a work of art, it reminds me of a long conversation between two drunks
Clive James
#61. They say we have weak wills. Do you know about the two drunks who went to the film of The Lost Weekend. Came out staggering. "My God I'll never take another drink," said the first. "My God I'll never go to another movie." How's that for commitment?
John Berryman
#62. Now and then I become conscious of having the reputation of being one of the great drinkers, if not one of the great drunks, of our time.
Kingsley Amis
#63. Buddy eyed me closely. His eyes were filigreed with red. I watched as he went through one of those instantaneous mood swings that only drunks and menstruating women can manage.
G.M. Ford
#64. God watches over drunks and third baseman.
Leo Durocher
#65. She said all writers were prima donnas, drunks, social misfits, pompous, or depressed. Brilliant, maybe, but completely crazy.
Ilsa J. Bick
#66. By the time kids are 15, they're drunks and they're drug addicts and they're getting chicks pregnant. The parents wonder, "What did I do wrong?" What you did wrong was, you were never there. You had the kid as a status symbol, that's what went wrong. And you're paying the price for it.
Andrew Dice Clay
#67. It isn't chic for women to be drunk. Men drunks are more excusable, more easily absolved, but why? It must be thought they have better reasons.
Margaret Atwood
#68. Arresting a single drunk or a single vagrant who has harmed no identifiable person seems unjust, and in a sense it is. But failing to do anything about a score of drunks or a hundred vagrants may destroy an entire community.
James Q. Wilson
#69. Drunks they may be, but a drunken man knows not fear. Fools, aye, but a fool can kill a king. Rats, that too, but a thousand rats can bring down a bear.
George R R Martin
#70. Your best men are
drunks and your worst men are
locking them
up,
your best men are killers and
your worst men are
selling them
bullets
Charles Bukowski
#71. These are his people, this congregation of misfits, crack addicts, and drunks, the unshaven, unwashed, unemployed, and unwanted.
Lee Strobel
#73. But a lot of people got married so they could fuck six times a week. Then in a while they only felt like fucking once a week and had to talk to each other in between. Created a lot of drunks.
Robert B. Parker
#74. God sends drunks blackouts because if they knew what they had done they would surely die of shame.
Lucia Berlin
#75. It comes down to this. When we die, not only will our bodies be gone, but so will the people we remember. We live in the world, and we recall the world, and one day we won't do either anymore. The church bells will ring and the drunks will drink.
Peter Orner
#76. They say that God watches out for children, drunks and fools. Simply put, this means I stand a two-thirds better chance for divine intervention in my life than most other people.
Lenny Castellaneta
#77. Veins of ivy scale stones,
find footholds but
the caretaker cuts
earth short, peels
creepers from Cotswold
rock and props the dead
head to head so they won't
topple like drunks
on their moss-soft shadows.
Jalina Mhyana
#78. What are children anyway? Midget drunks. They greet you in the morning by kneeing you in the face and talking gibberish. They can't even walk straight.
Dylan Moran
#79. My doctor tells me I should start slowing it down - but there are more old drunks than there are old doctors so let's all have another round.
Willie Nelson
#80. Weary looked at him and shook his head and put the tailgate up and drove down the gravel towards the bivouac, carrying two drunks, who both fatuously imagined, that once in a dream somewhere, sometime, someplace, they had managed for a moment to touch another human soul and understand it.
James Jones
#81. You're a Catholic priest. Aren't you all drunks?"
"If I wasn't before, being back in your life might drive me to drink. Between you and Eleanor it's a miracle I'm even lucid."
Kingsley pointed at him. "I take that as a compliment."
"You would.
Tiffany Reisz
#82. What is that quote?" Hazel said, walking to him, too glad he'd come to object to the danger he'd put himself in. "The Lord protects fools, drunks, and dumbass ax wielders?
Holly Black
#83. Have you ever head this theory about drinking yourself sober?' Eddie asked. 'It's a very popular theory. Amongst drunks, anyway.
Robert Rankin
#84. Fine." I poured one more shot for her, then screwed the lid on the bottle. "But that's it. I'm not putting my life in the hands of a bunch of drunks.
Rachel Vincent
#85. Maybe some folks are alcoholics and others are just voluntary drunks. Maybe some folks drink due to body chemistry and others due to their lazy characters. Maybe some have drinking problems, while others have problems enough to drink.
George Jones
#86. I was gazing back in the direction of Wales, watching the Prudence clone, when I noticed a couple of drunks lurching in my direction. Night people who live in service stations. The insufficiently deceased.
Iain Sinclair
#87. There are two kinds of courage: the courage that holds things together and the courage that throws them away. The first is more common; it is the cement of civilization; it is Lucy's. The second is the courage of drunks and suicides and mystics.
Douglas Glover
#88. The whole pot-to-alcohol thing is a huge issue with me, because I've grown to hate drunks so much, and like potheads.
Doug Benson
#89. Since the white cops ventured over only when they needed a Negro to conveniently arrest for some crime, the residents had no protection from pickpockets and thieves and burglars, scofflaws and roughnecks, moonshiners and drunks and rapists.
Thomas Mullen
#90. They think actors are freaks - that we're a lot of drunks who party all the time and never work. Well, I for one work my tail off.
Lauren Bacall
#91. My folks were drunks, and I had a rough childhood - really rough - in fact, rougher than I thought about.
Gary Paulsen
#92. Abstract Expressionism was invented by New York drunks.
Joni Mitchell
#93. We were playing, not for the drunks, but for the musicians, because it was more intellectually challenging. We needed somewhere to put our energy to show that we were growing, and as we started to achieve this, people came to hear us musically.
Ronnie Hawkins
#94. I don't know where you'd find such a magazine." ~ on the stipulations set by a benefactor to the Harvard Advocate that the staff contain no Jews, homosexuals, or drunks
Kenneth Koch
#95. Only drunks stare at statues .... I never liked the statues keeping vigil, primarily because they were too close to life.
Amit Chaudhuri
#96. Nothing could be better than to garner information from drunks, they are some of the most honest and willing people to talk.
Anonymous
#97. The casino seemed like a good idea at first - right off the highway, filled with drunks and elderly, neither of whom are known for eyesight. But I am feeling crowded and fidgety, aware of the cameras in every corner, the doors that could snap shut.
Gillian Flynn
#98. America's infrastructure is now so wretched that, in some areas, the only people who drive straight are the drunks.
Anonymous
#99. Personality must be accepted for what it is. You mustn't mind that a poet is a drunk, rather that drunks are not always poets.
Oscar Wilde
#100. Not a formidable presence, except in that madman way that drunks wield, that does-it-look-like-I-give-a-fuck-about-anything?
Nick Flynn
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