Top 76 Quotes About Birth Certificate
#1. I'm not saying my mother didn't like me, but she kept looking for loopholes in my birth certificate.
Les Dawson
#2. The birth certificate of the royal baby lists her parents' occupations as being 'the prince and princess of the United Kingdom.' It says that under occupation, which I guess sounds better than 'unemployed.'
Conan O'Brien
#3. Growing older is a blurred birth certificate that only can take us to this world's perplexed journey, but it cannot smear the letters of the epitaph
Munia Khan
#4. I'll show you Obama's birth certificate when you show me Sarah Palin's high school diploma.
Bill Maher
#5. Donald Trump said that if President Obama releases his birth certificate, Trump will release his tax return. Obama said he won't run for a second term if Trump releases that thing on his head.
Conan O'Brien
#6. Have you seen these Republican presidential candidates? I bet Obama is sorry now that he spent all that money on the new birth certificate.
David Letterman
#7. I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate had an expiration date on it.
Steven Wright
#8. I was an ugly baby. On my birth certificate there was a listing for Probable Cause.
Ronnie Shakes
#9. I'm supposed to talk some sense into you," she told me. "But what I really want to say is congratulations. You did the right thing." "The police don't think so." "Typical," she clucked. "Getting hung up on the numbers on your birth certificate when you probably saved a life." "They made
Gordon Korman
#10. Nowhere on your birth certificate did it say life would be fair
Trevor Jones
#11. The three most important documents a free society gives are a birth certificate, a passport, and a library card.
E.L. Doctorow
#12. No matter what his birth certificate said or didn't say, he was Billy Dent's son.
Barry Lyga
#13. Also she signed away the right to self-destruct years ago. The fine print on the birth certificate, her friends call it.
Jenny Offill
#14. I'm tired of hearing about innocent victims. It's fiction, If you live on this planet you're guilty, period, f*** you, next case, end of report. Your birth certificate is proof of guilt.
George Carlin
#15. My stepmother sold my birth certificate and someone asked why I didn't buy it back. I don't know, really. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. It was mine. It cost me nothing and suddenly I had to buy it back.
Paul McCartney
#16. What does it feel like to be latent?
I don't know. What does it feel like to be so old that your birth certificate is in Roman numerals?
Suzanne Wrightt
#17. You have all these people in the city and everything has become centralized. If you live outside the city and you need a birth certificate or some official paper from the government, you have to travel to the city.
Edwidge Danticat
#18. There are few things in life harder to find and more important to keep than love. Well, love and a birth certificate.
Barack Obama
#19. John McCain turned 72 years old last Friday, but the Chinese are making him a birth certificate that says he's only 33 and then he'll be ready to go.
David Letterman
#20. If someone accuses me of not being born here, I can go -within 10 minutes - to my filing cabinet and I can pick up my real birth certificate and I can go, 'See? Look! Here it is. Here it is.'
Luke Scott
#21. I mean, if someone asked for my birth certificate, I'd get my baby book and hand it out and say 'Here it is.'
Vicky Hartzler
#22. President Obama announced his re-election campaign, though it's not really a surprise. He did all the things that make it official: He filed the paperwork, redesigned his website, and printed another fake birth certificate.
Craig Ferguson
#23. It occurred to me that I would like to be a poet. The chief qualification, I understand is that you must be born. Well, I hunted up my birth certificate, and found that I was all right on that score.
Hector Hugh Munro
#24. You don't need to see my birth certificate, or my college records, or my legal writings, or ... anything.
Barack Obama
#25. The umlaut isn't on my birth certificate. I had this book as a child called Chloe and Maude, and there was an umlaut on the e, and I said, I want that! It's a little flair. Just to confuse people even more.
Chloe Sevigny
#26. I was fortunate enough to be an American citizen by birth and I have the birth certificate to prove it.
Raul Labrador
#27. Even Obama's staunchest supporters are starting to leave him. Last week Michelle Obama demanded to see a copy of his birth certificate.
Ann Coulter
#28. Gender data is important. If girls don't have a birth certificate, how do we know how many are marrying as children?
Kathy Calvin
#29. She dropped the matter, and his birthday remained May 28. Armed with the Social Security card, the birth certificate, and the letter from Principal Simpson of the Briarcrest Christian School, they drove the next day to the Department of Motor Vehicles. This time they had Collins in tow. Collins
Michael Lewis
#30. I found a copy of Leven's birth certificate and was surprised to see his birth name listed as E. Leven Thumps. I assume the E. stands for Elton, and I have no idea why they didnt spell it out, but it's intresting to think that it took exactly eleven whacks or thumps to down the oldest tree.
Obert Skye
#31. Now I have something. In fact, I have posted on the Internet more than Obama has. My birth certificate actually has signatures.
Orly Taitz
#32. What do Obama and God have in common? Neither has a birth certificate. How do they differ? God does not think he's Obama.
Rush Limbaugh
#33. And let's all be honest here; more of us believe in the American hero Sheriff Joe Arpaio's thorough investigation into your phony birth certificate and phony history than the phony media's smoke and mirrors.
Ted Nugent
#34. I am always looking for ways our government can help make everyday life easier for Ontarians, and these new polymer birth certificates do just that. Having a safe and durable birth certificate will provide more security and help protect people from fraud and identify theft.
Kathleen Wynne
#35. The only name on my birth certificate was Henley, no first name.
Rickey Henderson
#36. Merely presenting a driver's license or other document based on a birth certificate is not enough for an accurate verification. Biometric verification of identity must be made and then a data base of those persons who have legal status must be checked.
Bob Dole
#37. I don't know how old I am because a goat ate the Bible that had my birth certificate in it. The goat lived to be twenty-seven.
Satchel Paige
#38. Right here, in this same headquarters, 52 years ago, the Convention that gave the birth certificate to the war on drugs was approved
Juan Manuel Santos
#39. My mother desperately wanted children. She had a child that was stillborn - something I learned when I was looking through her 'effects' after she had died. It was then that I discovered my original birth certificate, which indicated the previous birth.
Stanley Hauerwas
#40. A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate.
Donald Trump
#41. I have to say, after hanging out with Republicans for four days, I want to take a look at my own birth certificate. I don't think I was born in this country.
Andy Kindler
#42. Today, possible presidential candidate Donald Trump released his birth certificate. It lists his eyes as blue and his hair as ridiculous.
Conan O'Brien
#43. A change in paperwork [birth certificate] can't erase words stamped on the human heart.
Charles Martin
#44. Donald Trump said he still wants to look more closely at Obama's birth certificate to make sure that it's real. Incidentally, President Obama said the same exact thing about Donald Trump's hair.
Jimmy Fallon
#45. Rick Perry is now saying he thinks that Barack Obama's birth certificate is fake. I think Perry may have faked his driver's license.
David Letterman
#46. My father is Emmit and my grandfather is Emmit, but I wanted something extra so I could separate my Emmitt from the rest of them. Even though on my birth certificate it has one T, I just added the extra T for me.
Emmitt Smith
#47. if he knew how upset I was for opening my big fat mouth. "I'm sorry about what happened in there. I shouldn't have told Mama about Joseph Theodore Page being on Ted's birth certificate, but she
Maggie Toussaint
#48. So I figured I'd leave the area, because I had no ties there anyway except for this girl I was seeing. We had conflicting attitudes: I really wasn't into meditating and she wasn't really into being alive. I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate has an expiration date.
Steven Wright
#49. There was some indecision as to when I was born. My sister said it was 1916. I'd lost my birth certificate.
Michael Gough
#51. This is all my identification, my birth certificate, my everything. You can be Shannon McFarland from now on. My career. The ninety-degree attention. It's yours. All of it. Everything. I hope it's enough for you. It's everything I have left.
Chuck Palahniuk
#52. Good Morning, Sunshine! Josh F**king Bennett. By now, I'm pretty sure that if I were to find his birth certificate that is exactly what it would say.
Katja Millay
#53. Trump is running for president and he's wasting no time getting down to business. In fact, just after his announcement he demanded to see Jeb Bush's birth certificate.
Jimmy Fallon
#54. Donald Trump showed his birth certificate to reporters. Who cares about his birth certificate? I want to know if that thing on his head has had its vaccinations.
Craig Ferguson
#55. President Obama and his wife are going to Kenya. Donald Trump said, 'While you're there, pick up your birth certificate.'
David Letterman
#56. Donald Trump says that he will not run for president. You know why? He can't find his birth certificate.
Jay Leno
#57. In a Cafe
I watched a man in a cafe fold a slice of bread as if he were folding a birth certificate or looking at the photograph of a dead lover.
Richard Brautigan
#58. One did not walk around the town with one's birth certificate stuck on one's back; why then should clothes have their labels on the outside? It was a very vulgar display, she felt,
Alexander McCall Smith
#59. My mother had to send me to the movies with my birth certificate, so that I wouldn't have to pay the extra fifty cents that the adults had to pay.
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
#60. When I was born my father spent three weeks trying to find a loophole in my birth certificate.
Jackie Vernon
#61. Donald Trump brought up the issue of the birth certificate and it's getting huge buzz around the country. Even Chris Matthews has called for, you know, the birth certificate to be released. Why can't they just release the birth certificate, you know, and just move on?
Sean Hannity
#62. No one's ever asked to see my birth certificate. They know that this is the place that we were born and raised.
Mitt Romney
#63. I don't care where [Ted] Cruz comes from. I don't care where the President comes from. Day one, I opened an investigation on a fraudulent government Hawaii document, period, on a birth certificate, so if you can say Cruz has fake documents, okay.
Joe Arpaio
#64. I'm rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age I've regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
Bob Monkhouse
#65. The discussion about how she was in Arizona stalking her birth mother, whose name she'd gotten on the duplicate birth certificate she'd ordered because she'd lost her original, should really happen in person, but that was impossible right now.
Oh, what a tangled web ...
Cat Johnson
#66. Check your spiritual birth certificate, you were made in the mighty image of God.
Joel Osteen
#67. President Obama went to India, South Korea, then Japan. He's going to keep travelling until he finds his birth certificate.
David Letterman
#68. On Fox News, Donald Trump said Obama's birth certificate could indicate that he's a Muslim. Trump said he doesn't trust anyone with a foreign-sounding name, and neither does his daughter Ivanka.
Conan O'Brien
#69. Obama is the closest thing to a Latino that we have. Barack. Everybody wants to see his birth certificate too.
George Lopez
#70. I went to regular schools and I was home schooled a lot but I don't have any history in schools. Like, I literally don't exist. I didn't even get a birth certificate until the mid-80s. I always feel like I could be, like, 10 years younger, or maybe I'm 70!
Rose McGowan
#71. Laws forbidding adoptees from accessing their original birth certificates are outdated and need to be changed today.
DaShanne Stokes
#72. A great deal of capital, which appears to-day in the United States without any certificate of birth, was yesterday, in England, the capitalised blood of children.
Karl Marx
#73. We do not possess an official certificate of birth for worship of one God. But the family line is clear: the Jews invented it to endure the coherence, cohesion and existence of their small, threatened people.
Michel Onfray
#74. In the early days of the Indian Territory, there were no such things as birth certificates. You being there was certificate enough.
Will Rogers
#75. Only with our government are you given a certificate at birth, a license at marriage, and a bill at death.
Jennifer Dunn
#76. For a southern belle, my grandmother was remarkably modern. She threw my grandfather out, for one thing - some kind of argument about bourbon whiskey - shortly after the birth of their third child, and then went back to school to get herself a teaching certificate.
Preston Sturges
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