Top 33 Quotes About Bagels: Famous Quotes & Sayings About Bagels

#1. You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, then remove them with a pitchfork.

#2. I've said this before, and I say it again. Bagels can be an enormous power for good or for evil. It is up to us to decide how we will use them.

Daniel Pinkwater

#3. I've liked being Jewish in America - there's a secular version of Jewishness there that's more about bagels and jokes than going to synagogues.

Beeban Kidron

#4. I do all of the grocery shopping in my little family. I buy cheese, of many different kinds, sliced packaged meats and poultry, bagels, immense quantities of eggs, pre-made fried chicken. Milk. Bacon. It is insane how much dairy, deli and bakery stuff I buy.

Ben Stein

#5. A kind of emptiness existed in the center of my bagel; really
it was just the hole that's in the middle
of all bagels; 'i need to go read my blog
to find out what my politics are

Tao Lin

#6. Modesty means admitting the possibility of error, subsuming the self for the good of the whole, remaining open to surprise and the gifts that only failure can bring. There are many ways to practice it. Try taking up golf. Or making your own bagels. Or raising a teenager.

Nancy Gibbs

#7. I served seven years as the chair of the Princeton economics department where I had responsibility for major policy decisions, such as whether to serve bagels or doughnuts at the department coffee hour.

Ben Bernanke

#8. I can't be skinny all the time. I like to drink and I like to eat. I like burgers and bagels.

Chelsea Handler

#9. If I were running a campaign, I'd urge taking the mountain of money reportedly squandered on pizza, coffee and bagels and spending it more wisely - on a talented young comedy writer.

Dick Cavett

#10. I've done everything from stocking shelves at a natural food co-op, to baking bagels at Brueggers and bussing tables. Then I realized that jobs suck, but if you could get up at 6 A.M. and bake your own breakfast, that is very satisfying.

Marco Arment

#11. Guys wake up at your place and they expect breakfast. They don't eat bagels and M&M's in the morning. They want things like toast. I say, 'I don't have these recipes.'

Elayne Boosler

#12. I always thought that bagels and lox was my soul food, but it turns out it's sushi.

Sara Sheridan

#13. I actually put peanut butter on my bagel. I really like peanut butter and I like to ruin the bagel. You know what's even crazier that I do sometimes? I do cinnamon raisin bagels with peanut butter. It is really, really out there.

Evan Peters

#14. In New York, I like it when you can get bagels at 3 in the morning.

Shepard Smith

#15. On winter Sundays when I was a child, we waited for my father to return from his tennis game with bagels and sturgeon and for my mother to object when the 1 P.M. Giants game began.

Jane Leavy

#16. The easiest way for Americans to make sense of Chinese history is to compare everything to Jewish history. There's an analogue for everything. Torah: Analects. Curly sideburns: long ponytails. Mantou: bagels.

Eddie Huang

#17. Daddy, how come in Kansas City the bagels taste like just round bread?

Calvin Trillin

#18. Q: Why do seagulls live near the sea? A: Because if they lived near the bay, they'd be called bagels.

Alex Watts

#19. The bagel is a lonely roll to eat all by yourself because in order for the true taste to come out you need your family. One to cut the bagels, one to toast them, one to put on the cream cheese and the lox, one to put them on the table and one to supervise.

Gertrude Berg

#20. The first printed mention of bagels ... is to be found in the Community Regulations of Kracow, Poland, for the year 1610 which stated that bagels would be given as a gift to any woman in childbirth.

Leo Rosten

#21. According to a new poll, Republicans are more likely to have a doughnut for breakfast, while Democrats prefer to eat bagels and croissants. While Independents are that annoying friend who's still looking at the menu after 15 minutes.

Jimmy Fallon

#22. I tried being anorexic for four hours, and then I was like, I need some bagels.

Kat Dennings

#23. When you have cat stealers over for tea, you clean the house, buy bagels and cream cheese, and try to figure out how to trap your guests in a lie.

Caroline Paul

#24. They shot the ball well early. What comes out of the microwave hot doesn't always stay hot. I know, because I eat bagels in the morning.

Shaquille O'Neal

#25. - Know any good sailing jokes? - I've got one about seagulls. - Okay. - Why do seagulls fly over the sea? - Why? - Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.

Jennifer E. Smith

#26. On Sunday morning, it's Brooklyn Bagels on Beverly Boulevard. We get them hot. Then we walk some of the famous Silver Lake steps or hike in the hills to the highest vantage point to see the reservoir.

Jill Soloway

#27. The kind of roommate who greets me at the door, who makes me dinner, who would bring me coffee and bagels every single day of the week if I asked her to.

Mary Kubica