On Her Birthday Quotes

#1. I'm not romantic at all, ha ha, I need teaching. The closest I ever came was taking a girl out on her birthday and getting her picked up and dropped off at a hotel. The room was all done up, like with flowers and stuff. But that was a struggle for me!

Tinchy Stryder

#2. If a fairy makes a wish to leave the fairy cave, she must return to the cave every year and always on her birthday to live as a tiny fairy on that day. If she fails to obey the Fairy Queen's Rules, she'll turn to fairy dust, forever.

Caz Greenham

#3. By morning she was dead. She had not died of starvation or committed suicide by any conventional means. She had simply willed herself to die, and being a strong-willed woman, she had succeeded. She had missed dying on her birthday by two days.

John Berendt

#4. With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.

Rodney Dangerfield

#5. A broke man's lover doesn't feel 'loved' on her Birthday, Christmas, and, on Valentine's Day.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

#6. Hud? Back here? Oh, man, what a birthday present," Hilde said, giving her another hug. "I'm so sorry, sweetie. I can imagine what seeing him again did to you."
"I still want to kill him," Dana whispered.
"Not on your birthday." Hilde frowned.

B. J. Daniels

#7. On her eighteenth birthday, my mother had disposed of a man-eating tiger that had ravaged the villages in the hills north of Hanoi. Now, without a moment's hesitation, she raised my father's gun, took aim and put a single, irreproachable bullet through my husband's head.

Angela Carter

#8. On Sofia Coppola's 16th birthday, way back in 1987, I stole a lip gloss from her Sistine Chapel of a bedroom. Years later, I left a Chanel lip gloss in the reception of the Mercer Hotel for her. You know why? I believe that you've got to fix your karma.

Courtney Love

#9. I think on my next birthday, I'm going to buy her a present. I think that should be the tradition. The kid gets gifts from everybody, and he buys one present for his mom since she was there, too. I think that would be nice.

Stephen Chbosky

#10. Ask any teenage girl to describe her perfect bedroom, and you'll get answers like 'a room with a private phone line, a place to hang out with friends, and for it to be way-cool and funky.' Ask parents the same question, and 'a locked door that opens on their 21st birthday' might top the list!

Candice Olson

#11. On the other hand, Andrea had decided last month, on the occasion of her twelfth birthday and for no discernible reason (at least, none that an adult could discern), that from then on her given name would be Fitzwinkle. And then

Alan Dean Foster

#12. What kind of life are you leading where you consider ketchup fancy? "Well, we ain't rich folk, but on special occasions, I'll break out the ketchup. Grandma's birthday, make her feel special"

Jim Gaffigan

#13. I've raced on all seven continents at least twice. I've probably run thousands of races. But the single race that I'm most proud is a 10K. Yes, a 10K. I ran it with my daughter on her 10th birthday.

Dean Karnazes

#14. On every birthday, I ask my wife, 'What would you like this year?' and her instant reply is, 'Diamonds! Diamonds! Diamonds!' I'm always living in hope that one day she'll say she just wants me!

Akshay Kumar

#15. Fabulous Aunt Fancy had died on her sixtieth birthday while parachuting from an airplane.

Nancy Thayer

#16. I love my mom so much. I don't care if that's corny to say. I think on my next birthday, I'm going to buy her a present. I think that should be a tradition. The kid gets gifts from everybody, and he buys one present for his mom since she was there, too. It think that would be nice.

Stephen Chbosky

#17. Happy birthday to former First Lady Barbara Bush, who turned seventy-seven this week. Unfortunately, where her granddaughters helped blow out the candles on her cake, it exploded.

Craig Kilborn

#18. A day and a half ago I was at work playing browser games on the PC and trying to think of what to get Amy for her birthday. Suddenly it's the freaking apocalypse.

David Wong

#19. Suddenly this camera, this thing, allowed me to move around the world in a certain kind of way, with a certain kind of purpose. (On receiving a camera for her twenty-first birthday)

Carrie Mae Weems

#20. I'm sorry I tried to burn you in the flames of Hell on your birthday." She actually looked repentant. "It's ok." I patted her small back. "I'm sorry I made all those birds poop on your head." Her eyes narrowed for a moment. Perhaps she hadn't known I was responsible for that.

Nicole Grane

#21. Of course she is. Because she's eight kinds of wonderful, and that's just her legs." Jeb furrows his brow. "What's that supposed to mean?" "Taelor has all the diplomacy of a black widow spider. Garnet's her birthstone. You're wearing her birthday on your lip. Talk about spinning you up in her web.

A.G. Howard

#22. It's my wife Ruth's birthday soon. I said to her: "What would you like for your birthday?" She said: "I want a divorce." I said: "I wasn't planning on spending that much."

Frank Carson

#23. 'What you doing in the club on a Thursday?'
She say she only here for her girl birthday ...
They ordered champagne but still look thirsty,
Rock Forever 21 but just turned 30.

Kanye West

#24. And of course, I had to see you today, on your birthday." "You remembered?" He turned to her, expression earnest. "I remember everything about you, Miss Macy. Every moment between us - the good and the bad.

Julie Klassen

#25. My ace in the hole as a human being used to be my capacity for remembering birthdays. I worked at it. Whenever I made a new friend, I made a point of finding out his or her birthday early on, and I would record it in my Filofax calendar.

Susan Orlean

#26. Go fuck a fifteen-year old."
"Her birthday was in March. She's sixteen now."
"I'm hanging up on you.

Tiffany Reisz

#27. For years Melody had been making the same wish on every birthday candle, eyelash, wishbone, and shooting star that came her way, and now it had finally come true.

Sarah Weeks

#28. An adult woman should not be so possessive of her own birthday that she begrudges her friends the chance to get married on the same day.

Mallory Ortberg

#29. She knew what he had in mind.
He'll propose in Scotland on my birthday.
There was no doubt as to what her answer would be.

Jana Oliver

#30. It was the same mantra she had silently chanted before on other festive occasions. 'May you be happy'--her mother had wanted to be happy, hadn't she? Didn't everyone?" Things Unsaid, from Chapter, "Birthday Celebration

Diana Y. Paul

#31. Here's to honor. Get on her. Stay on her. If you fall off. Get back on her. If you can't cum in her. Cum on her! Happy Birthday Man!

Kimberly Lauren