Top 100 Old Lady Sayings
#1. The waitress scuttles away, and I make a shooing motion at the old couple who're still glaring.
"Don't you have something to better to work on?" I hiss. "Like golfing or eating prunes or dying?"
The old lady looks shocked.
"Okay, sorry, not dying. But seriously, prunes are good for you.
Sara Wolf
#2. One old lady who wants her head lifted wouldn't be so bad, but you multiply her two hundred and fifty thousand times and what you get is a book club.
Flannery O'Connor
#3. Women are usually only interesting to studio executives when they are fecund, between the ages of 15 and 30. I decided to get through the really tough patch, around 50, by just cutting my price and playing ten years older. I didn't want to have to wait until I was an old lady to play one.
Tyne Daly
#4. You don't have half such a hard time as I do," said Jo. "How would you like to be shut up for hours with a nervous, fussy old lady, who keeps you trotting, is never satisfied, and worries you till you're ready to fly out the window or cry?
Louisa May Alcott
#5. Do I give money to charity and help old-lady zombies across streets so that they can bite babies?
Mira Grant
#6. No, I mean I can smell somebody an' tell if they're gonna die. An old lady taught me how. Jean
Louise
Finch, you are going to die in three days.
Harper Lee
#7. No old lady would be that conniving if she didn't have a little spunk left in her.
Susan Ornbratt
#8. I can make dopey decisions for which I have to pay. If I take some little old lady's superannuation money, I would be mortified if things didn't go to plan.
Len Buckeridge
#9. I knew an old lady in the Highlands once, who said the lines in your hand don't predict your life; they reflect it.
Diana Gabaldon
#10. Remember that the old lady who's taking forever in line is someone's grandma
Eric Stonestreet
#11. When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street.
Steven Wright
#12. Did I just get psychically pimp-slapped by a little old lady?
Molly Harper
#13. And there was this sweet-looking little old lady with her white hair in a bun and everything, the typical grandmother type, and she was swearing her head off. I guess Alzheimer's had brought out her inner sailor.
Vivian Vande Velde
#14. A crazy old lady, leading a band of teenagers against an angry supernatural Entity - who'da thought?
Diane M. Haynes
#15. Near the kiosk the old lady who sold refreshments seemed slowly to be gathering all the shadows of evening about her skirts.
Louis-Ferdinand Celine
#16. He didn't just want to fuck her, he didn't just want her in his bed ...
He wanted her on the back of his bike.
Yeah, he wanted to lay claim to Danielle West, ink his name on her body and slap an old lady patch on her ass. And worse, he wanted the world to know it.
Madeline Sheehan
#17. Sassy," he said through a smile. Then decreed, "Old lady." "Damn straight," I returned.
Kristen Ashley
#18. Here now; that it was this almost insignificant old lady who, as
Hazel Gaynor
#19. You know what I mean. And by the way, you should slow down."
I sighed. "You're kidding me. This is coasting. This is little old lady speed."
"NASCAR drivers would have heart attacks. Slow down before we get a ticket."
"Chicken.
Rachel Caine
#20. It all comes of being so attractive, as the old lady said when she was struck by lightning.
Jerome K. Jerome
#21. I won't quit to become someone's old lady.
Janis Joplin
#22. The old lady who said there must be a devil, else how could they make pictures that looked exactly like him, reasoned like a trained theologian - like a doctor of divinity.
Robert Green Ingersoll
#23. The weird thing about old Playboys is knowing that the naked woman is now an old lady. I said weird. I didn't say bad.
Dana Gould
#24. 747s always reminded me of a fat, ugly old lady in the neighborhood where I used to live. Huge sagging breasts, swollen legs, dried-up neckline.
Haruki Murakami
#25. When I was a child I accidentally made a chemical bomb. I also ate my grandfather's heart pills. I got my stomach pumped for that one. I got over that so by the time I hit my teens I was kind of mild. Now I'm like an old lady who occasionally parties real hard.
Brittany Howard
#26. Slowly the reality of the situation sank in. He got his ass kicked, learned nothing, and got saved by a dumb dog and an old lady. If he lived long enough to report to Nancy back in Adrianglia, he would have to gloss over this part.
Ilona Andrews
#27. Hey, Trash, what did old lady Semple say when you torched her pension check?
Stephen King
#28. She did not care what a ludicrous picture she might be painting, a fat happy old lady in her night gown, swinging on a small little swing in the dead of the night.
Srividya Srinivasan
#29. My old lady wouldn't like me putting a dead chick under our house. She's real particular about smells.
Bijou Hunter
#30. Madame, you will have the goodness to tell me where that genius lives." The old lady did not seem surprised at this indiscreet command. She raised her eyes and said: "In Heaven!" Such simplicity baffled him.
Gaston Leroux
#31. I like to wear clothes that I will wear when I am an old lady.
Florence Welch
#32. I don't like going out that much. I'm kind of an old lady. After it's 11, I'm like, 'Don't these kids ever get tired?' When I'm out, I think about my couch. Like, 'It would be awesome to be on it right now. I bet there's an episode of Dance Moms on.
Jennifer Lawrence
#33. Downstairs in the lounge, by the third pillar from the left, there sits an old lady with a sweet, placid, spinsterish face and a mind that has plumbed the depths of human iniquity and taken it all as in the day's work ... where crime is concerned, she's the goods.
Agatha Christie
#34. Sometimes in my class I have people come in and do monologues inspired by people they know and I always find that to be useful to do specifics about somebody and then you're actually doing a character and not doing some random old lady or something.
Amy Poehler
#35. Wear a hat and some old lady shoes, and you can do whatever you want.
Elizabeth Berg
#36. The girl was in fact so patient with the old lady that she had not yet noticed that she was never given an opportunity to be patient. She endured her own nature and supposed it to be the burden of another's.
Charles Williams
#37. It sounds kind of farfetched, yet I can't tell you how many people have had this syndrome ... the 'Old Hag Syndrome.' Apparently, there's this little old lady who comes into your room at night, sits on your chest and tries to suffocate you. You can Google her - she'll pop up. She's out there.
George Noory
#38. No. The moral of the story in so far as it has one is that cannibals can study logic, and that if you are going to leave the path, you better have your wits about you and know better than to trust the first scary old lady who talks to you in public.
Nick Harkaway
#39. I met an old lady once, almost a hundred years old, and she told me, 'There are only two questions that human beings have ever fought over, all through history. How much do you love me? And Who's in charge?
Elizabeth Gilbert
#40. I know about graffiti,' I say, and the words come out as if I'm an old lady saying she likes the hip-hop.
Cath Crowley
#41. I thought for sure you were about to ravish her. I've read a lot of books, and that was just like a scene that ends with the hero ravishing the maiden."
"I was closer to strangling her."
The little old lady chuckles in a knowing kind of way. "That's a different kind of book, sonny.
Emma Chase
#42. We ain't in California no more," Pilate said. "Every fuckin' body up here's got a gun. Even that old lady in the hamburger shop, shot Michelle.
John Sandford
#43. That how you like 'em, Mr. Rockstar? Comatose?" a man heckled. In a smooth voice, Jericho walked by him and said, "That's how I got your old lady.
Dannika Dark
#44. Tab and I don't play it that way. You wanna order your old lady around, do what you do, not for me to say. I asked her to go, she didn't go. Not gonna make her. But you try, you'll deal with me
Kristen Ashley
#45. Stu looked over his shoulder at the trailer. "She seems like a nice old lady, but jeez, that's a big dog."
"Yes," said Liam. "But a small dragon.
Deborah Blake
#46. Whether it is the old lady's fear, or the many ghostly traditions of this place, or the crucifix itself, I do not know, but I am not feeling nearly as easy in my mind as usual.
Bram Stoker
#47. Look in the mirror. Half close your eyes. Pretend you are an old lady and ask yourself if you had the chance again to have sex with a stranger would you take it?
Chloe Thurlow
#48. I should think that being my old lady would be all the satisfaction or career any woman needs.
Mick Jagger
#49. There is only one thing to be done," went on the old lady, "be simple and quiet. Whenever your soul begins to be disturbed and anxious, put yourself in His Hands, and refuse to decide for yourself. It is easy, so easy.
Robert Hugh Benson
#50. She's an old lady," Barron says. "And she's been locked up for years. Let her have some fun. She needs to blow off steam. Seduce old dudes. Lose money at canasta.
Holly Black
#51. I had a non-existent knowledge of Queen Victoria's early years. Like everyone else, I thought of her as an old lady dressed in black. My mom had told me about her, though, that she had a very loving relationship with Albert, that they had lots of kids, and that he died young.
Emily Blunt
#52. The novel can't compete with cars, the movies, television, and liquor. A guy who's had a good feed and tanked up on good wine gives his old lady a kiss after supper and his day is over. Finished.
Louis-Ferdinand Celine
#53. My last performance Some old lady drops the mic And kills everyone I
Rick Riordan
#54. Voting for New Labour is like helping an old lady across the road while screaming 'Get a move on!' Even the Tories, who you could once rely on to be completely heartless are pretending to care.
Boy George
#55. I've been trying to play old-lady parts since I was in my 20s, so I look forward to all of that.
Melissa McCarthy
#56. That's my dream to be old enough and mature enough that I won't be considered an "old lady" if I have a house with a barn. Because I already do needlepoint.
Emmy Rossum
#57. 747s always remind me of a fat, ugly old lady in the neighborhood where I used to live. Huge sagging breasts, swollen legs, dried up neckline. The airport, a likely gathering place for the old ladies. Dozens of them, coming and going, one after the other.
Haruki Murakami
#59. I ask is there anything with a little kick to drink. And this old lady says to me, We don't approve of alcohol. And I says, Well, ma'am, we need to remember Jesus did turn water to wine. And she says, And we're none too crazy about that stunt, neither.
Smith Henderson
#60. "Then what can you want to do now?" said the old lady,gaining courage. "I wants to make your flesh creep," replied the boy.
Charles Dickens
#61. My mountain is dead. As soon as she has dried, I'll bury her under a decent layer of white paint. But I haven't done with the old lady; far from it!
Emily Carr
#62. Convince is for thought; persuade is for action. You couldn't convince me that taping my horrible old-lady voice was a good idea, but you persuaded me to do it anyway, didn't you, you little dickens?
Monica Wood
#63. I think I'm the only 65-year-old actress in Los Angeles who hasn't had plastic surgery, so somebody's gotta play the old-lady parts!
Jane Elliot
#64. The boy scout struggled after her with the bundle that was too heavy for him. Studs watched them, and thought unprintable things about old lady Gorman.
James Farrell
#65. Unfortunately, we are a species with schizoid tendencies, and like an old lady who has to share her house with a growing and destructive group of teenagers, Gaia grows angry, and if they do not mend their ways she will evict them.
James E. Lovelock
#66. I really don't know," the old lady brought out hesitatingly, "you see I've never sold the dead before.
Nikolai Gogol
#67. On the freeway of life, Lisa Watson was stuck at the entrance ramp, trapped behind a cautious old lady in a Buick.
Judy Nichols
#68. Imagine how Nathaniel might drive if he actually was an old lady - a centuries-old old lady, like me. That's how I will drive for the rest of my days, so long as you are in the car.
Deborah Harkness
#69. Nature is an old lady with few friends these days, and those who wish to make use of her charms, she rewards passionately.
Tim Krabbe
#70. I am equal to a baby and to a hundred year old lady. I am equal to an airline pilot and a car mechanic. I am equal to you. You are equal to me. It's that universal.
Except that it's not.
A.S. King
#71. As we move further away I can hear the old lady say, "Remember when we were like that, Ed?" To which the old man replies, "My memory is not that good.
Anna Bloom
#72. Got a little - well - feeble as you might say. Of course, she was never dangerous; she was the sweetest old lady.
Katherine Mansfield
#73. If I go up to Harlem or down to Sixth Street, and I'm not dressed up or I'm not wearing my jewelry, then the people feel I'm talking down to them. People expect to see Mrs. Astor, not some dowdy old lady, and I don't intend to disappoint.
Brooke Astor
#74. We all have a dark side, Reggie. You. Me. The old lady down the street. Henry. Everyone. We make the choice not to embrace it, but the dark is there. It's always there. Inside us.
Simon Holt
#75. I was at an ATM and this old lady asked me to help check her balance, So I pushed her over.
Hudson Moore
#76. There is only one thing wrong about the Flo Hyman Award: it came to be named for the Old Lady of Volleyball much too soon.
George Vecsey
#77. I move in a society so devoid of ordinary reality that I am continually stopping to teach good sense, to give support, to help out, as a young gangster might help an old lady across the street on his way to the stick-up.
Paul Goodman
#78. I don't feel like me unless I have my hair shaved. So even when I'm an old lady, I'm going to have it.
Sinead O'Connor
#79. I learned to drive when I was 35. I'm driving like an old lady and very close to the wheel. I don't take many risks, and when people yell at me I say 'sorry, sorry, sorry!' I don't have road rage yet.
Michel Gondry
#80. You know, I'm trying to sometimes sit down and write some stories about my childhood and maybe one when I'm an old lady put them out like a book.
Shelby Lynne
#81. Women in mystery fiction were largely confined to little old lady snoops - amateur sleuths - who are nurses, teachers, whatever.
Marcia Muller
#82. What a dignity it gives an old lady, that balance at the bankers! How tenderly we look at her faults if she is a relative; what a kind, good-natured old creature we find her!
William Makepeace Thackeray
#83. Well, the way you'd been, old lady
I could see the fear in your windows
Under your furry crawling brow
A silver bow rings up in inches
You were afraid you'd be the devil's red wife
But it's alright, God dug your dance
And would have you young and in his harum
Don Van Vliet
#84. As James Lovelock writes, 'Mother Earth' is now an old lady in her sixties, no longer as resilient as she once was. With our conscious actions, we are now measurably shortening her lifespan.
Mark Lynas
#85. You're not supposed to cuss when you're an old lady, and just when there's so much more to cuss about ...
Peg Bracken
#86. At times of extreme intensity, the kundalini can become active. Suddenly a 70-year old lady, who can't lift a bag of prunes, will lift an automobile a few inches because her grandchild got stuck under it.
Frederick Lenz
#87. All the rules changed. I'm holding you hostage, pretty. Who the hell do you think you are?"
"Just an old lady trying to make things right.
Cat Porter
#88. turning my gaze away from the kitchen to the reflection in the window. An old lady. I saw her every day, this woman, but her reflection never ceased to surprise me. When did I become her?
Sarah Jio
#89. Perhaps the old lady had kidnapped Michela, had found her in the park and taken her away, because she had a violent desire for a little girl but couldn't have children. Her womb was defective or else she was unwilling to make a bit of room in it.
Just like me, thought Alice.
Paolo Giordano
#90. Someone once said that to make a regular person laugh, you need to dress a guy up like an old lady and push him down the stairs. To make a comedy writer laugh, you have to push a real old lady down the stairs. I don't know who that's attributed to. I think it's Aristophanes. Or Catherine the Great.
Tina Fey
#91. The batsman's technique was like an old lady poking her umbrella at a wasp's nest.
John Arlott
#92. She crossed her legs and kicked out her feet, clad in thick wool socks and boots big enough to house a little old lady.
Drew Magary
#93. I'm gonna do the whole bedroom in camel color - it's an old lady color.
Amy Sedaris
#94. I think I grew up a bit quickly. I wish I was younger than I am in my head. I feel like an old lady for various reasons. I have a yearning to live out my childhood and teenage years and have a bit more fun than I actually did.
Elena Tonra
#95. Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.
Mark Twain
#96. For Liz, all American men were divided into two classes: those who treated you as if you were a frail old lady, and those who treated you as if you were just frail.
Josephine Tey
#97. By some miracle, Charlotte's polite smile never wavered. It was a proud moment for her. After all, it wasn't every day that a little old lady told you right to your face that your bosom was as flat as a flounder.
Olivia Parker
#98. Every...woman," the old lady said, "loves a ...rogue.
Mary Balogh
