Old Lady Sayings

#1. I honestly kind of hate shopping. My favorite places to shop are rich old lady consignment stores.

Lykke Li

#2. The old lady whirled round, and snatched her skirts out of danger. The lad fled on the instant, scrambled up the high board-fence, and disappeared over it.

Mark Twain

#3. What a pleasant life could be had in this world by a handsome, sensible old lady of good fortune, blessed with a sound constitution and a firm will

Stella Gibbons

#4. So you're the little smart ass from Poleglass.
I wanted to point out he sounded like Dr. Seuss but bit my lip and remembered the warning the old lady gave me.

David Louden

#5. She's an old lady from times back. Her clothes have the smell of her sheep and that rusty smell of the ancient trunk in which she keeps her things.

Denys Johnson-Davies

#6. Morgause laughed as she mounted her horse with some help from a footman. "I see through your protests, Merlin. You are quite amorous of me, I know it." Merlin looked like he swallowed a frog. "Lady," he said. "Wise, old lady. Please depart lest I be forced to help you depart.

K.M. Shea

#7. When I'm an old lady, I'm going to have my pick of the young men. They'll be like, 'She's Miss Mary Jane!' The young boys will think I'm a hot old lady.

Kirsten Dunst

#8. As to the old history of Ireland, the first man ever died in Ireland was Partholan, and he is buried, and his greyhound along with him, at some place in Kerry.

Lady Gregory

#9. Somebody said I sound like an old lady, and I was really insulted by that. I'm trying to sound like Skip James and Smokey Robinson and Marvin Gaye.

Tom Waits

#10. Well, you've got a full load of torpedoes and bullets, three Martian warships trailing you, one angry old lady in tea withdrawal, and a Martian Marine who could probably kill you with your own teeth. What do you do?

James S.A. Corey

#11. The line between angry young woman and grumpy old lady is very fine.

Judy Horacek

#12. Why creeds and prayers and mackintoshes? when, thought Clarissa, that's the miracle, that's the mystery; that old lady, she meant, whom she could see going from chest of drawers to dressing-table.

Virginia Woolf

#13. I'm afraid to look in the mirror. I'm afraid I'm going to see an old lady with white hair, just like the old ladies in the park. Alittle bundle in a black shawl just waiting for the coffin.

Paddy Chayefsky

#14. Aunt Rosa, a fussy, angular, wild-eyed old lady, who had lived in a tremulous world of bad news, bankruptcies, train accidents, cancerous growths - until the Germans put her to death, together with all the people she had worried about.

Vladimir Nabokov

#15. I just want to keep at it. I can't wait to see, after years of being around, the roles I can play when I'm a crazy old lady.

Tanya Fischer

#16. The saddest thing is an old bag lady, freezing to death in the snow on Christmas Eve, and the last thing she sees is a family in a nice warm diner getting beheaded by the Taliban.

Chris Onstad

#17. When I wake up in the morning, I feel like any other insecure 24-year-old girl. Then I say,'Bitch, you're Lady Gaga, you get up and walk the walk today.

Lady Gaga

#18. My secret world had been invaded, and the attractive figure of Tiptree - he did strike several people as attractive - was revealed as nothing but an old lady in Virginia.

Alice Hastings Bradley

#19. It could be anything, give a homeless guy a sandwich, help an old lady across the street like anything to make this world a better place. If everybody just did one good thing for another person like a selfless good deed just think about how much a better place this would be.

Frank Iero

#20. I'm not a detective from Baker Street or an old lady who solves crimes while she's knitting in an easy chair. I'm just a book girl. So I can't make a deduction, only take a flight of fancy
er, forget I said that. I meant, I can only take a guess.

Mizuki Nomura

#21. Sometimes life is like this Ferris wheel. Even when everything seems wrong, the sky is black, it's starting to rain, and some lady throws up on you, the wheel will keep right on turning to spite you. (the Old Man)

Michele Young-Stone

#22. I'll be your old lady and I'll wear your patch. But if you ever let some bitch shove her tits in your face again, I'll shoot you myself.

Joanna Wylde

#23. Cabal took her arm, and they processed towards the cafe like old friends, or at least the sort of old friends in which the lady wears a somewhat smug smile while the gentleman scowls darkly.

Jonathan L. Howard

#24. I was thinking about working with Lady Gaga, not 'Born This Way' but more her old stuff that she did with RedOne from her first album. I think that would be really fun - a cool combination.

Afrojack

#25. It is the old battle, between those who use a toothbrush and those who don't.

Lady Gregory

#26. Of course, an old wine is like an old lady, and traveling can disturb her.

Julia Child

#27. So now what? Kick down the door . . . and then what? Find an old lady in a weird white dress and demand she explain her whack-a-doodle rants? Maybe she had gone upstairs. Maybe Bat Lady was now getting ready for her loony day, changing out of her white dress, heading to the shower . . . Ugh.

Harlan Coben

#28. They're still in good shape, but I'm not flashing them anymore. I'm an old lady. I leave all the flesh to the kids.

Tina Turner

#29. You scared of your old lady, Ripper?" ...
"Fuck you," he shot back. "I ain't scared of shit except havin' nowhere to put my dick when it gets cold and sad and wants a motherfuckin' hug.

Madeline Sheehan

#30. I would that I were an old beggar
Rolling a blind pearl eye,
For he cannot see my lady
Go gallivanting by.

William Butler Yeats

#31. There's nothing wrong with being single and not getting married and being, you know, just an old single lady. Who cares?

Joan Jett

#32. I've shut myself inside these walls, and I'm going to be a very lonely old lady if I'm not careful.

Danielle Steel

#33. How little we realize things till they come upon us personally. I believe I have been a perfect fiend of indifference, even intolerance, of deaf people, and now it's me. Well, I am determined to become the most Delightful Deaf Old Lady that ever existed and I am practicing to that end ...

Susan Hale

#34. Never tell. Not if you love your wife ... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay On Top Of Me Or I'll Die.' " I didn't know what I was goin' to do ...

Lenny Bruce

#35. Once I Was A Little Girl
And I Will End Up As An Old Old Lady,

Petra Cecilia Maria Hermans

Petra Hermans

#36. I know I'm immature in some ways, but inside me there's a cranky old lady yelling at the damn kids to get off her lawn. She's been there awhile. I've decided to call her Mabel.

Lucy A. Snyder

#37. Yet who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him? - Lady Macbeth

William Shakespeare

#38. She's useful to me, I'm useful to her. As long as that continues, Rowan Street is safe from an old-lady smack down of epic proportions.

Kelley Armstrong

#39. Chanel No. 5 is my perfume when I'm feeling like a lady. It's old-school and warm - and it reminds me of my mom.

Phoebe Tonkin

#40. My best friend and I go to bed at 11 o'clock. We have such old lady schedules. Everyone's always like, 'Let's go out!' And we're always like, 'No, we don't want to.' They call us the grandmas. L.A. can get really old really quickly if you waste your life away in a club all night.

Britt Robertson

#41. When I'm performing for the people, I am me, then. I am that little girl who, when she was five years old, used to sing at church. Or I'm that 15-year-old young lady who wanted to be grown and wanted to sing and couldn't wait to be smokin' a cigarette, you know?

Etta James

#42. Our lady the Common Law is a very wise old lady though she still has something to learn in telling what she knows.

Frederick Pollock

#43. I would like to do a romantic comedy, but not a romantic comedy that is cheesy. I want to do an old romantic comedy like 'Roman Holiday' or 'My Fair Lady.'

Sami Gayle

#44. I'll say this, Arik: the old man's warning proved to be true - things are not always what they seem. She was no young lady -"
"If it's the demon you speak of," interjected Rith, as she stepped back into the ruin, Lyssa following after, "she was not even a toothless old hag.

Dennis L. McKiernan

#45. Black is an old wrinkled-face queen sitting on a porch while rocking away her last days, thinking of her grandchildren
Black is the old lady's grandchildren yelling "Revolution!" so that their grandmother would die free

Umar Bin Hassan

#46. I'm not your old lady," I declared. He grinned and asked, "You aren't?" "No," I stated firmly. "In my tee, in my bed, after a night where my condom stash got lighter by three, lady. Beg to differ," he replied.

Kristen Ashley

#47. The term 'lady' has been so misused, that I like better the old-fashioned term, woman.

Fanny Fern

#48. I love you, Li. You're mine. My woman. My property. My fuckin' old lady...my fuckin' forever.

Tillie Cole

#49. You are a born storyteller," said the old lady. "You had the sense to see you were caught in a story, and the sense to see that you could change it to another one.

A.S. Byatt

#50. I'm pretty sure I just got groped while buying toothpaste," Ty told him with a frown as he struggled with the tiny buttons of his shirt. "By a tiny little old lady with dead butterflies on her hat.

Abigail Roux

#51. I have to write to discover what I am doing. Like the old lady, I don't know so well what I think until I see what I say; then I have to say it again.

Flannery O'Connor

#52. If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs.

Tina Fey

#53. I know what "custody" [of the children] means. "Get even." That's all custody means. Get even with your old lady.

Lenny Bruce

#54. The price of meat has just gone up and your old lady has just gone down.

Frank Zappa

#55. I feel like an old lady; my hero is Miss Marple.

Helen Oyeyemi

#56. an 'old English lady'. Henry, though, had other

Thomas Penn

#57. There is a point of obesity where, like it or not, whatever your other personal achievements or qualities, all you are is "the fat man" or "the fat lady", The world is a gawking four-year old.

Adrian Barnes

#58. I was in handcuffs. I was under arrest. I remember there was this old lady looking at me, and I could tell she felt real sorry for me, and she did'nt know but all I wanted to do was take her purse.

Mike Tyson

#59. There was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many kids ... her uterus fell out!

Andrew Dice Clay

#60. The house, she'd explained to them many times, had spoken to her; she'd listened, and it turned out they'd understood one another very well indeed. Greenacres was an imperious old lady, a little worn, to be sure, cranky in her own way-but who wouldn't be?

Kate Morton

#61. I realize that I'm a mature woman and one of these days, incredible diet or not, I'll be a little old lady.

Victoria Moran

#62. I've never really been serious about my villainy. I don't have a master plan. I suppose my philosophy is: Every villain has a mother. For every cold-blooded killer on your screen, there's a little old lady somewhere who calls him 'sonny.'

Anthony Zerbe

#63. But, dear God, don't listen to me. I'm an old lady in the middle of nowhere without a real toilet.

Deb Caletti

#64. Then came the deglutition of saliva, and the old lady instinctively wiped the stubble of her toothbrush moustache with her handkerchief.

Marcel Proust

#65. And she began the oft-told tale of a lady of imperial descent who could find no husband in the narrow circle where her pride permitted her to mate, and had lived on unwed, her age now thirty, and would die unwed, for no one would have her now.

E. M. Forster

#66. Miss Marple is a white-haired old lady with a gentle appealing manner- Miss Wetherby is a mixture of vinegar and gush. Of the two Miss Marple is the more dangerous.

Agatha Christie

#67. Do you think this would make a good gift for a little old lady?" (Substitute "little old lady" for any other relative of yours.)

Roosh V

#68. If you see a biker chick hanging out with a group of bikers and associated with them, stay away. You'll know right away if a biker chick is free; if she's with someone, she's right by his side. Getting with somebody's old lady is a big no-no. That's more serious than anything in that world.

Theo Rossi

#69. Riposte of "that old lady in the anecdote who was accused by her nieces of being illogical," Logic! Good gracious! What rubbish! How can I tell what I think till I see what I say?

E. M. Forster

#70. A beautiful lady is an accident of nature. A beautiful old lady is a work of art.

Louis Nizer

#71. I'll accompany you too, fair lady," said Reven. "I would fain meet your grandmother."
"You would what?" said Elfwyn.
"He means he'd like to," said Jinx. Some of the books in Simon's house used old-fashioned words like that.

Sage Blackwood

#72. How old are you?"
"Ten," answered Tangle.
"You don't look like it," said the lady.
"How old are you, please?" returned Tangle.
"Thousands of years old," answered the lady.
"You don't look like it," said Tangle.
"Don't I? I think I do. Don't you see how beautiful I am!

George MacDonald

#73. My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'

Alan King

#74. Nothing is as good as it used to be." I swore I would never talk like that and you know what? Now that I'm an old lady myself, I think that most things are better than they used to be. Look at the computers. Look at your sister,

Anita Diamant

#75. That's my opportunity to hide behind that old lady and say what I want to say.

Vicki Lawrence

#76. In a town in Calabria, a long time ago, there lived an old lady everyone called Strega Nona, which meant "Grandma Witch".

Tomie DePaola

#77. I still have my eyes on the prize: I want to be that old lady onstage shaking her hips and singing her greatest hits.

Christina Aguilera

#78. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I'm on a horse.

Isaiah Mustafa

#79. I don't want to be left in the past. When I stand next to Kylie, Beyonce or Rihanna, I don't want to be a decrepit old lady.

Lulu

#80. So she made no secret about being gay?"
"Why should she?" the little old lady asked. "Nobody would care but a bunch of stuffy old men.

John Sandford

#81. It was an old, old, old, old lady,
And a boy who was half-past three;
And the way they played together
Was beautiful to see.

Henry Cuyler Bunner

#82. I got sent to a health camp when I was about 6 years old, and we all had to wear the same starchy blue uniform. The lady who took care of me after school knit me a burgundy sweater. It was the only thing that gave me any individuality.

Barbra Streisand

#83. My daughter was asked by a little old lady in a London hotel restaurant what her daddy did. She answered, "He's a pirate" - I was very proud of that answer.

Johnny Depp

#84. There's an old saying. Never send a boy to do a man's job, send a lady.

John F. Kennedy

#85. A real man is one who remembers the lady's birthday, but never knows how old she is. A man who never remembers her birthday, but knows exactly how old she is, - is her husband.

Faina Ranevskaya

#86. When a man marries again, it is because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs." "Narborough wasn't perfect," cried the old lady.

Oscar Wilde

#87. There's no rage like old lady rage, just as there's no tenderness like old lady tenderness.

Tina Howe

#88. When I was nine years old, Star Trek came on, I looked at it and I went screaming through the house, 'Come here, mum, everybody, come quick, come quick, there's a black lady on television and she ain't no maid!' I knew right then and there I could be anything I wanted to be.

Whoopi Goldberg

#89. Consider the Jewish joke, with the old lady running distractedly along the seashore: Help! My son the doctor is drowning. Amusing, I suppose. Her pride, I suppose, is amusing: it is greater than her love.

Martin Amis

#90. That evening, the old lady sat in the best place for talking: in the kitchen, on the wooden bench beside the oven. This oven was a massive affair built of fired clay, taller than a man and large enough that all four of Pyotr Vladimirovich's children could have fit easily inside.

Katherine Arden

#91. I've been giving back since I was a teen, handing out turkeys at Thanksgiving and handing out toys at toys drives for Christmas. It's very important to give back as a youth. It's as simple as helping an old lady across the street or giving up your seat on the bus for someone who is pregnant.

Queen Latifah

#92. I'm going to die very soon. Before my 21st birthday. I won't live to be 21. I'm never going to be old. I don't ever want to be ugly and old. I'm an old lady now anyhow. I'm 80. There's nothing left. I've already lived a whole lifetime. I'm going out. In a blaze of glory.

Nancy Spungen

#93. When my daughter looks at me, she sees a small old lady. That is because she sees only with her outside eyes. She has no chuming , no inside knowing of things. If she had chuming, she would see a tiger lady. And she would have careful fear.

Amy Tan

#94. The only big things I've purchased are my dad's heart valve and a Rolls-Royce for my parents, for their anniversary. And that was only because my dad had a Lady Gaga license plate on our old car and it was making me crazy because he was getting followed everywhere, so I bought him a new car.

Lady Gaga

#95. Lady Linlithgow, too, though very strong, was old. She was slow, or perhaps it might more properly be said she was stately in her movements.

Anthony Trollope

#96. She's an old lady and she's ill. You just hold your head high and be a gentleman. Whatever she says to you, it's your job not to let her make you mad.

Harper Lee

#97. No, I mean I'm claiming her for real. Now. I'm done fucking around. Gonna make her my old lady.

Joanna Wylde

#98. We're all traitors now." "Ha!" the old lady said. "Only if we lose.

James S.A. Corey

#99. Old lady judges watch people in pairs
Limited in sex, they dare
To push fake morals, insult and stare
While money doesn't talk, it swears
Obscenity, who really cares
Propaganda, all is phony.

Bob Dylan

#100. He was a throwback to a lady's old romantic notion of how a man should act. [Giovanni Tempesta]

Vincent B. "Chip" LoCoco