Office Christmas Sayings

#1. What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.

Phyllis Diller

#2. I remember one review of The Office Christmas Special that compared it unfavourably to Dickens. What? You're saying I'm not as good as the greatest storyteller ever. Boo! Boo! I think I can live with that.

Ricky Gervais

#3. If Madison had a gun, she'd shoot out the sound system pumping "Jingle Bells" through her office speakers. Instead, she bit off Rudolph's chocolate head and pointed a finger at the brightly colored, foil-wrapped Santa on her desk. "You're next, big guy.

Debbie Mason

#4. Remember the phrase - 'Act your age, not your shoe size?' That didn't apply to me, as they were the same until the age of 12 when my feet stopped growing.

Judy Gold

#5. I don't want to have to say, Honey, you know, could you turn off the sports channel because I'm not a big sports fan, and I don't love the television being on just for the sake of turning on. I'd like turning on for some thing specific.

Lynn Redgrave

#6. The post office in the city of Christmas, Florida, where thousands descend each year to get their holiday cards postmarked. It's the best tradition we got, so fuck it, I'm rodeo-riding this cultural mutation.

Tim Dorsey

#7. Myrmecophaga jubata: The anteater. The existence of this predator demonstrates that thinking 71 percent of the time, as ants do, won't prevent you from being eaten. Thinking less than that, as humans do, will almost guarantee it.

John Ralston Saul

#8. I love Christmas. Frosty the Snowman, peace on Earth and mangers, Salvation Army bell ringers and reindeer, the movie 'Meet Me in St. Louis,' office parties and cookies.

Mo Rocca

#9. George paused just beyond the sawhorses at the edge of a deep ravine that had been cut through the tar surface of Witcham Street. This

Stephen King

#10. Maybe you should accept the fact that you've tried to be someone you're not for so long that no matter what you did, those bastards were never happy. They were never satisfied. They never gave a damn, did they?

Tahereh Mafi

#11. It'd better. God owes me one, more than one.

Jamie McGuire

#12. Windows are as essential to office prestige as Christmas is to retailing.

Enid Nemy

#13. I spent 250 to 300 days of every year on the road. But in the end, I felt something was missing. I needed to be anchored so I could concentrate, so in 2000, I established a new methodology - the one I use today. I spent the week in my office and travelled every weekend, even at Christmas.

Hans Ulrich Obrist

#14. It is not as a child that I believe and confess Jesus Christ. My hosanna is born of a furnace of doubt.

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

#15. I will vanish in the morning light; I was only an invention of darkness.

Angela Carter

#16. Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year.

P. J. O'Rourke

#17. I happened upon a memoir by a midlevel White House staffer, and he had been in the room that [Nixon's last] night [in office]. This guy's memoir told me what Nixon's last words were. And they were, on August 8, 1974, to the crew: "Have a Merry Christmas, fellas!" That was just so bizarre.

Harry Shearer

#18. Unnecessary possessions are unnecessary burdens. If you have them, you have to take care of them! There is great freedom in simplicity of living. It is those who have enough but not too much who are the happiest.

Peace Pilgrim

#19. Seriously, isn't there enough holiday cheer around here? You all don't have to invade my office." I glared at my coworkers, decked out in their fancy Christmas finery, complete with Santa hats and jingly socks.

I should have been expecting this - it was a week before Christmas. -- Erica

Candice Gilmer

#20. No one who is young is ever going to be old.

John Steinbeck

#21. I can't think of anything more disheartening than living a life without a clear purpose.

Daniel Willey

#22. Sports is like rock 'n' roll. Both are dominant cultural forces, both speak an international language, and both are all about emotions.

Phil Knight

#23. Already the dream was coming apart, its bright silk strands unwinding into nebulous emotions, little coloured clouds of feeling being dispersed by the movement of my waking-up mind. This is how it's always been with Light Bulb Fragment dreams; by the time I'm fully awake, they're gone.

Steven Hall

#24. Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Johnny Carson

#25. The Post Office is very careful nowadays. When they get a package marked "Fragile," they throw it underhand.

Milton Berle

#26. Reflective writing produces distinct rewards. A writer does not claim to live exclusively in the moment. A pensive writer retreats into oneself in noble attempt to meld memory, thought, faith, doubt, and other strong emotions into thought capsules while exploring the inscrutable web of creation.

Kilroy J. Oldster

#27. Libraries have certainly come a long way. The days of card pockets inside the backsleeves of books seemed like a faded dream. As a kid, I used to love all those withdrawal date stamps.

Haruki Murakami

#28. It is the custom to sneer at the modern apartment-house, television, big-city Christmas, with its commercial taint ... office parties, artificial ... Christmas trees ... but future generations in search of their lost Christmases may well remember its innocence; yes, and its beauty, too.

Paul Gallico