No More Alimony Quotes

#1. We have FCC, abandoned alimony payments, assault and battery, Homeland Security escalation, and that's before we invite the IRS to take a walk on your wild side.

Ken Goldstein

#2. In some instances, alimony has become akin to a social-welfare program provided by working women to their ex-husbands.

Diane Garnick

#3. Divorce is expensive. I used to joke they were going to call it 'all the money,' but they changed it to 'alimony.' It's ripping your heart out through your wallet.

Robin Williams

#4. Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.

Groucho Marx

#5. I'm paying the third highest alimony and child support in the world. And the only two ahead of me are sheiks.

Burt Reynolds

#6. If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we have to pay for sweeping a woman off hers.

Groucho Marx

#7. How the hell can you be liberated and accept alimony?" I said.
Again the smile, innocent, beautiful, glorious, and satanic. "Exploit the oppressor," she said.

Robert B. Parker

#8. You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.

John Barrymore

#9. Maybe it was the hip-sprung way she moved, high-assed and shiny, alert to surfaces, like a character in a B movie soaked in alimony and gin.

Don DeLillo

#10. It just doesn't seem fair, you know? I work my ass off and she gets to live off the ruination of my financial life

Kenneth Eade

#11. Let me be serious: divorce is a sacred institution between a man and a woman who hate each other. God wanted Adam to pay alimony to Eve, not Steve.

Lewis Black

#12. If a woman is really injured by her marriage, she should sue under the employer liability act. She should claim damages
not alimony.

Charlotte Perkins Gilman

#13. Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

Groucho Marx

#14. Also, I am driven by a wonderful muse called alimony.

Dick Schaap

#15. Now you can start paying for it with money instead of blood.

Kenneth Eade

#16. King Henry VIII, who said to his lawyer, Forget the alimony, I've got a better idea. Never got a dinner!

Red Buttons

#17. The wages of sin is alimony.

Carolyn Wells

#18. Alimony is like buying oats for a dead horse.

Arthur Baer

#19. I've been paying alimony since I was 14 and child support since 15. That's a joke, but not by much.

Don Adams

#20. Sometimes they would just pay me to stay home and not do anything else, which sounds fantastic but doesn't do much for your ego. Its probably a little like getting alimony-the money is nice but has a nasty aftertaste.

Craig Ferguson

#21. Even hooligans marry, though they know that marriage is for a little while. It is alimony that is for ever.

Quentin Crisp

#22. Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony.

Oliver Herford

#23. These are your peak earning years, my friend. You've got kids to think about. And soon enough, alimony.

Garth Risk Hallberg

#24. Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

P.G. Wodehouse

#25. People go to restaurants for so many different reasons. To court a girl, to make some deal. Maybe to talk to some lawyer about how to get an alimony settlement better than they got last week.

Gay Talese

#26. I know a lot of writers who would much rather be writing the Great American Novel, but they've got bills to pay and alimony, and so they take a job at a less-than-reputable paper. You know, you do what you gotta do.

Eric Stoltz

#27. Alimony - the ransom that the happy pay to the devil.

H.L. Mencken

#28. My compulsion to always be working has become less strong and my current business is purely down to this enormous alimony. If I wasn't doing this I'd be making documentaries about wildlife and other subjects that interest me.

John Cleese

#29. I was looking very much for a career. My second marriage to Stan Herman had ended, and I wanted very much to be independent, not take alimony from him, be on my own, do the right thing.

Linda Evans

#30. Alimony is a system by which, when two people make a mistake, one of them continues to pay for it.

Peggy Hopkins Joyce