Newsflash Quotes

#1. No offense to hot girls everywhere- but newsflash- there are hot girls everywhere.

Tammara Webber

#2. Newsflash; not everything that
drops from your gorgeous dumb mouth is
the truth." There's a pause. "Ah, shit. I just called you gorgeous. Now I have to commit seppuku."
"Don't you dare," I mumble into her neck.

Sara Wolf

#3. Hey, lady, you know what? Here's a newsflash: Hitler's not coming.

Annette Laing

#4. We turn the corner, and once again I'm greeted with the evil statue, sitting on the park bench styled seat like he owns the fucking joint. Newsflash McFuckhead, I own it.

K.M. Golland

#5. There's more to life than sitting there interfacing, it might be
a newsflash to you.

David Foster Wallace

#6. It was a newsflash to me that dating as a pre-thirty divorcette was as bad as having herpes.

Stephanie Klein

#7. Newsflash: High school is over. You are not cool. "Cool" is a ridiculous concept.

Jim Gaffigan

#8. Yes, of course I want to get married, but does that mean I'm not allowed to go out and have a good time? Am I supposed to just marry any schmuck that comes along? And by the way, here's a newsflash, Hammertoes. Nobody wants to marry me, anyway.

Chelsea Handler

#9. When we are born into this world, the world revolves around us. We're spoon-fed on the front end and diaper-changed on the back end. It's as if the entire world exists to meet our every need. And that's fine if you are a two-month-old baby. If you're twenty-two, it's a problem! Newsflash:

Mark Batterson

#10. Shaunti wields the researcher's clipboard, the analyst's data, and the counselor's insight to bring the excellent newsflash that great marriages are the culmination of definable, repetitive micromovements that add up to deep relationship satisfaction.

Anita Renfroe

#11. Newsflash, ladies: We can't read your thoughts. And frankly, I'm not entirely sure I'd want to. The female mind is a scary place to be.

Emma Chase

#12. Newsflash, you Heavenly puke; no children that come of the union with my mate will ever be handed over to you.

Larissa Ione

#13. I bet women bend right over this desk for you," I lean forward and place my hands on the desk and drop one shoulder seductively. "I bet they're all, 'Oh, Sawyer, it's so big. I don't think it's gonna fit.' Newsflash for you. They're lying. It always fits.

Jana Aston

#14. Here's a newsflash from the only High Preistess you have left at this dang school: Zoey isn't dead. And believe me, I know dead. I've been there, done that, and got the frickin' T-shirt. - Stevie Rae

P.C. Cast

#15. Here's a little newsflash for those reporters and commentators: I'm not going to Washington to seek their good opinion. I'm going to Washington to serve this great country.

Sarah Palin

#16. Newsflash: every relationship a person has ends in failure, save for one. Maybe two if you count getting remarried after they kick off, but the point is, we all go in with a ninety-whatever percent failure rate.

Drew Hayes

#17. Newsflash for any of the current, past or future Survivors out there ... when you contemplate strategizing about the other team, the best idea is to shut up and keep it to yourself. You're welcome; this bill is in the mail.

Jenna Morasca

#18. I watch sitcoms like Seinfeld, and here's a newsflash, but what a great show.

Scott Wolf

#19. The shadow of years was not as big on his small body. He knew I was away . But when people left they always came back.

Alice Sebold

#20. I didn't want to get back into the whole industry. I left overworked, overwhelmed, and not having any control over my life. I was bulimic and needed to heal.

Cheryl James

#21. The Psalmists in telling everyone to praise God are doing what all men do when they speak of what they care about.

C.S. Lewis

#22. I haven't read for pleasure in 35 years. I mean, I get a lot of pleasure from what I read ... For me, it's gotten so that it doesn't seem as though I've read a book unless I've written about it. It really seems the completion of the reading process.

Michael Dirda

#23. The lightning-bug is brilliant, but he hasn't any mind;
He stumbles through existence with his headlight on behind.

Eugene Fitch Ware