My Wife And Kid Quotes

#1. Home for me is wherever my wife and kid are.

Mark Hoppus

#2. I live to play music, and hang out with my wife and kid, and hang out with my friends, and discover the world. Read books, watch movies, see art, see the world, meet new people.

Mark Hoppus

#3. I timed my previous wife's pregnancy to the moment to have my son born on Bob Dylan's 50th birthday. There is no bigger Bob Dylan fan than me. You don't just time the day and impregnate your wife to get your kid to be born on Bob Dylan's 50th birthday.

Charlie Trotter

#4. You tell yourself that noise is what defines silence. Without noise, silence would not be golden. Noise is the exception. Think of deep outer space, the incredible cold and quiet where your wife and kid wait. Silence, not heaven, would be reward enough.

Chuck Palahniuk

#5. My favourite thing in the world, apart from my wife and kids, is writing songs. Ever since I was a kid.

Richard Hawley

#6. Kid, show me a man who doesn't go down on his wife and I'll show you a man whose wife I can sleep with, tonight.

Leo Durocher

#7. I was burned out, and my wife and I were having our first kid, so I wanted to take some time off. In this business, if you take too long, the landscape changes. So the opportunities that were there when I decided to take a break weren't there when I came back.

Chris O'Donnell

#8. Hulk Hogan's wife has filed for divorce. This is the most devastating breakup since Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee. And then Pam Anderson and Kid Rock. And soon, Pam Anderson and Rick Salomon.

Chelsea Handler

#9. When I'm doing a movie, I'm not doing anything else. It's all about the movie. I don't have a wife. I don't have a kid. Nothing can get in my way ... I've made a choice, so far, to go on this road alone. Because this is my time. This is my time to make movies.

Quentin Tarantino

#10. Hell, your kid is fucking my wife, and your wife is fucking me. [ ... ]
Not that she's any good, Zane said, looking at Georgia, and when she made a little cry of protest, he added, Hell Georgia, even Jell-O moves when you eat it.

Jennifer Crusie

#11. I want to play football for as long as my body will let me, and for as long as I can do a good job at it. And I want a wife. A son. Maybe another kid.

Jaci Burton

#12. I don't ask for much. I don't ask to be rich, and I don't ask to be famous, and I don't ask to play center field for the New York Yankees. I just want to get married and have a wife, and a house, and I want to have a kid, and I want to go see him be a tooth in the school play!

Tom Hanks

#13. He dropped the joint in the dirt and ran inside. It wasn't his first, and wouldn't be his last. The joint, that is. Not the kid. He was pretty sure, at this point, that he would never have sexual relations with his wife again.

Allie Burke

#14. You can't be the dad who takes your kid out after your wife has said, 'No ice cream,' buys the ice cream, and says, 'Don't tell your mother.' You teach the child to lie - and to disrespect the other parent.

Howie Mandel

#15. What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.

Rodney Dangerfield

#16. I lived across from a Catholic church for 15 years that I never went into. And then I got married to my wife and - you know, and now we're going in there every other day baptizing a kid.

Jim Gaffigan

#17. It's not a secret family like I have a beautiful, gorgeous wife in Tokyo; I have another mom and dad. I'm the kid and I have another mom and dad in Atwater Village, Los Angeles;

John Hodgman

#18. Terry said he had this new kid and his wife didn't want to live in England. He wanted to tour. He hated being in the studio. Terry liked seeing various bars the world over and getting smashed out of his brain. He was a sort of latent Keith Moon.

Andy Partridge

#19. When I was kid, yeah, my family, my parents wanted me to marry a Jewish girl because that was what they taught their children, and thought it would be an easier life for me to raise a Jewish kid. And I have a Jewish wife, I have a Jewish kid. They seem pretty happy about it.

Adam Sandler

#20. Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.

Fred Allen

#21. I wouldn't describe myself as a do-gooder. That's really more my wife. I'm kind of just the obsessed guy who's been writing and making movies since I was a little kid, just in a room and make it.

M. Night Shyamalan

#22. I did I Love My Wife on Broadway in 1978, and then went into television land. Now things are starting to come together in the way I thought they might when I was a kid.

Tom Wopat

#23. I got into guitar because no parent will buy their eight-year-old kid drums unless they're divorced and trying to get back at their wife. You know what I mean?

Josh Homme

#24. We found that our kids enjoy those simple adventures we take as a family. I'm driving, my wife's the copilot and we give one kid a choice of what they want to go do. We eat a lot of bad food and sleep in some interesting hotels.

Mark Consuelos

#25. To know what should be going on in a household: spend a few minutes with the wife, or, the husband. To know what's really going on: spend a few minutes with their kid(s).

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

#26. My wife makes fun of me by calling me a grandpa because I have very little patience for inconsiderate children. So if we're walking in the mall, and some kid goes by really fast on a skateboard, I become the grumpiest eighty-five-year-old man in the world and start screaming at them.

Rob McClure

#27. Sure. I'd like to live regular. Go home to a good looking wife, a hot dinner, and a husky kid. But I guess I got film in my blood. I love this racket. It's exciting. It's dangerous. It's funny. It's tough. It's heartbreaking.

Weegee

#28. There was a whole display set up of all the X-Men paraphernalia. My wife couldn't resist telling this 5-year-old boy that I was Wolverine. The little kid looked up at me and he was staring at me.

Hugh Jackman

#29. Distrust won't do good to you.
But still if you ever do.

Doubt you husband,
Maybe doubt your wife.
But never suspect,
your kid's father,
or the mother of your child.

Jasleen Kaur Gumber

#30. Got a wife and kid in Baltimore Jack, I went out for a ride and I never went back. Like a river that don't know where it's flowing, I took a wrong turn and I just kept going.

Bruce Springsteen

#31. I get around OK with a toolbox. As a kid, I picked up skills following my dad through the oil fields of Oklahoma and West Texas. My wife Janine is hard to impress, but she does think it's cool when I fix things around the house.

Ronnie Dunn

#32. When you're a kid, you think, "Well, I will grow up and I will get a wife and we will have kids and then we will have grandkids." My life has a different shape. That is weird, but there are things about it that are exciting.

Guy Branum

#33. When I was a kid, there were some people around me who were a bad influence. When I met my girlfriend Sofia, who is now my wife, I think it all changed. She was very important for me, because she steered me back on to the path I wanted to be on.

Luis Suarez

#34. I'm getting fed up of living away from home so much. They look after you very well but it doesn't matter how well you're looked after, how nice the hotel is, if you're away from home constantly, the bloody dog savages you, thinks you're a stranger, the kid cries and the wife's stuck to your face!

David Jason

#35. The thing about hitting kids is, think about if you were doing the same thing to another adult. Hitting your kid is really the same as hitting your employee or wife, and the issue become pretty clear when you think about it that way.

Zach Braff

#36. It may come as a surprise to people, but I'm actually quite boring and normal. What do I do? I read books. I drive my kid to school. I have lunch with my wife. I pick my kid up from school. I go home.

Nicolas Cage

#37. I'm not great at bedtime stories. Bedtime stories are supposed to put the kid to sleep. My kid gets riled up and then my wife has to come in and go, 'All right! Get out of the room.'

Adam Sandler

#38. But your book is wrong, Mrs. Strunk, says George, when it tells you that Jim is the substitute I found for a real son, a real kid brother, a real husband, a real wife. Jim wasn't a substitute for anything. And there is no substitute for Jim, if you'll forgive my saying so, anywhere.

Christopher Isherwood