Moms Mabley Quotes

#1. Moms Mabley said you have to say good things about the dead. I say, 'He's dead. Good.'

Kate Clinton

#2. I believe that parts of people like John Garfield and Moms Mabley, the parts of them that I needed to be able to do what I'm doing, came into me. There's a very nice feeling that there are many, many spirits inside of me looking after me ...

Whoopi Goldberg

#3. Advice to children crossing the street: damn the lights. Watch the cars. The lights ain't never killed nobody.

Moms Mabley

#4. Because that was what we all did - we searched for labels for people until we found one we thought might fit, and then we sighed in relief that we had placed them.

Erin McCarthy

#5. Black women, white women- all of them. I'm colorblind. I don't know the difference. I only know you're a human being and you're my children.

Moms Mabley

#6. You know Moms has been accused of liking young men, and I'm guilty.

Moms Mabley

#7. Use those brains that God put in your head.

Moms Mabley

#8. My husband was so ugly, he used to stand outside the doctor's office and make people sick.

Moms Mabley

#9. A woman is a woman until the day she dies, but a man's man only as long as he can

Moms Mabley

#10. I don't want nothing old but some old money. Buy me some young ideas. That's what I'm gonna do with it.

Moms Mabley

#11. Magistrate: May I die a thousand deaths ere I obey one who wears a veil!
Lysistrata: If that's all that troubles you, here take my veil, wrap it round your head, and hold your tounge. Then take this basket; put on a girdle, card wool, munch beans. The War shall be women's business.

Aristophanes

#12. The teenagers aren't all bad. I love 'em if nobody else does. There ain't nothing wrong with young people. Jus' quit lyin' to 'em.

Moms Mabley

#13. [On old age:] You wake up one morning and you got it.

Moms Mabley

#14. If you don't want your children to know the truth about life don't send 'em to the theater to see Moms 'cause I'm gonna tell them THE TRUTH, hear?

Moms Mabley

#15. Anytime you see me with my arms around an old man, I'm holding him for the police.

Moms Mabley

#16. LOVE is like Playing Checkers. You have to know which Man to MOVE.

Moms Mabley

#17. When I was 3 or 4, I seemed to be bursting with music. They played Ella Fitzgerald, Count Basie, Frank Sinatra in the house, so I learned my vocabulary from song lyrics - I was literally singing before I was talking.

Dan Hill

#18. I honestly never understood how violence against women became a women's issue. 95 percent of the violence men are doing to women.

Eve Ensler

#19. When you're a mile outside the limits of your competence, there is some comfort to be had in sounding like you know what you're doing.

Mike Carey

#20. Ain't nothin' an ol' man can do but bring me a message from a young one.

Moms Mabley

#21. It's no disgrace to be old. But damn if it isn't inconvenient.

Moms Mabley

#22. [On turning down an invitation to appear for four minutes on the Ed Sullivan Show:] Honey, it takes Moms four minutes just to get on the stage.

Moms Mabley

#23. Honey, that Totie Fields is one well-fed white woman. When that gal sits around the house, she sits around the house!

Moms Mabley

#24. An actor without an audience is rehearsing.

Sarah Wayne Callies

#25. The most haunting time at which to see them is at the turn of the moon, when they utter strange wailing cries; but the lagoon is dangerous for mortals

J.M. Barrie