Mabley Quotes

#1. Moms Mabley said you have to say good things about the dead. I say, 'He's dead. Good.'

Kate Clinton

#2. I believe that parts of people like John Garfield and Moms Mabley, the parts of them that I needed to be able to do what I'm doing, came into me. There's a very nice feeling that there are many, many spirits inside of me looking after me ...

Whoopi Goldberg

#3. Advice to children crossing the street: damn the lights. Watch the cars. The lights ain't never killed nobody.

Moms Mabley

#4. Black women, white women- all of them. I'm colorblind. I don't know the difference. I only know you're a human being and you're my children.

Moms Mabley

#5. No one is a natural - you have to work at being a natural.

Greg Proops

#6. You know Moms has been accused of liking young men, and I'm guilty.

Moms Mabley

#7. It is a thing to be regretted (and prevented, if possible) that a whole nation should be ruined for the pride and obstinacy of its princes,

Matthew Henry

#8. Use those brains that God put in your head.

Moms Mabley

#9. My husband was so ugly, he used to stand outside the doctor's office and make people sick.

Moms Mabley

#10. A woman is a woman until the day she dies, but a man's man only as long as he can

Moms Mabley

#11. I think it's better to attempt something and fail than it is to not even attempt it, so I'm glad that I've been prepared to put myself on the line there.

Ian Thorpe

#12. I don't want nothing old but some old money. Buy me some young ideas. That's what I'm gonna do with it.

Moms Mabley

#13. I don't have a long family history of good cooks in my family.

Bobby Flay

#14. The teenagers aren't all bad. I love 'em if nobody else does. There ain't nothing wrong with young people. Jus' quit lyin' to 'em.

Moms Mabley

#15. [On old age:] You wake up one morning and you got it.

Moms Mabley

#16. Ranger isn't my boyfriend. Ranger and I have a professional relationship." "Yeah, but that doesn't mean you can't play hide the salami once in a while.

Janet Evanovich

#17. If you don't want your children to know the truth about life don't send 'em to the theater to see Moms 'cause I'm gonna tell them THE TRUTH, hear?

Moms Mabley

#18. Life is short, right? We both know that. Well, what if you're my chance? What if you are the thing that's actually going to make me happiest?

Jojo Moyes

#19. Anytime you see me with my arms around an old man, I'm holding him for the police.

Moms Mabley

#20. LOVE is like Playing Checkers. You have to know which Man to MOVE.

Moms Mabley

#21. Please. Shit sprinkled with sugar was still shit. Baden

Gena Showalter

#22. Kids my age never left California. And here I was, going to school with Aboriginal kids in a dream-like location.

Dylan Penn

#23. Ain't nothin' an ol' man can do but bring me a message from a young one.

Moms Mabley

#24. There must be people who remember World War II and the Holocaust who can help us get out of this rut.

Martin Scorsese

#25. It's no disgrace to be old. But damn if it isn't inconvenient.

Moms Mabley

#26. Don't seek the water; get thirst.

Rumi

#27. [On turning down an invitation to appear for four minutes on the Ed Sullivan Show:] Honey, it takes Moms four minutes just to get on the stage.

Moms Mabley

#28. Honey, that Totie Fields is one well-fed white woman. When that gal sits around the house, she sits around the house!

Moms Mabley