Meeting Humor Quotes

#1. It's no problem." He picked up a slip of paper and then glanced up. "Astronomy 101? I'm heading that way too."
Great. For the whole semester I'd have to see the guy I nearly killed in the hallway.

Jennifer L. Armentrout

#2. King Shrewd is expecting me, rather he isn't expecting me, and that is precisely why I must go to him now.

Robin Hobb

#3. I can think of another quickie education for a child, which, in its way, is almost as salutary: Meeting a human being who is tremendously respected by the adult world, and realizing that that person is actually a malicious lunatic.

Kurt Vonnegut

#4. [Ned Flanders]: Well looks like someone's having a pre-rapture party.
[Homer Simpson]: No, Flanders. Its a meeting of gay witches for abortion, you wouldn't be interested.

Matt Groening

#5. Vivi stood and crumpled the report. "Who's the CEO at Slakerian?"
"Jakes Echabarne," her assistant said, not glancing at any notes.
"Arrange a meeting." No one messed around with Hunting4TrueLove, whether she held the reins or not.

Cheryl Sterling

#6. We'd spent maybe ten minutes together, during which time I'd accidentally swung a sword at her, she'd saved my life, and I'd run away chased by a band of supernatural killing machines. You know, your typical chance meeting.

Rick Riordan

#7. My theory about meeting people,' he said,'is that it's better not to make a really good first impression. Because it's all downhill from there. You're always having to live up to that first impression, which was just an illusion.

Lisa Kleypas

#8. I have not looked at Carlos since the meeting ... Being around him is like walking around with the flu ... The need to lie down in a darkened room and let my hatred of him run through me is almost insurmountable.

Kathleen Maher

#9. This is what I'm good at. I like meeting people, my fellow citizens, I like interfacing with them.

George W. Bush

#10. The sergeant shrugged, not meeting Amon's eyes. ' ... You'll be shivering all right. Them Waterwalkers'll have you crying for your mommies.'
'I assume you're speaking from experience, sir?' Raisa asked.

Cinda Williams Chima

#11. Prospero the Enchanter's immediate reaction upon meeting his daughter is a simple declaration of: Well, fuck.

Erin Morgenstern

#12. My name is Kevin James Breaux and I am an author. Why does that always sound like I am introducing myself at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting?

Kevin James Breaux

#13. The play will begin at six sharp. Parents and family, I hope you'll stay for the PTA meeting that will follow." A few parents coughed in response. George knew that coughing was the adult equivalent of groaning.

Alex Gino

#14. Wit, after all, is a mighty tart, pungent ingredient, and much too acid for some stomachs; but honest good humor is the oil and wine of a merry meeting.

Washington Irving

#15. Next time you're afraid to share ideas, remember someone once said in a meeting, 'Let's make a film with a tornado full of sharks.

Unknown

#16. One day we found them. They must of been holding a gook convention or something, cause it seem like the same sort of deal as when you step on a anthill and they all come swarming around.

Winston Groom

#17. The afternoon's glory was tainted by the voice on the other end. I was so very sorry not to have the pleasure of meeting you, Mr. Haines. You're not living up to your part of the bargain.

Davis Bunn

#18. The oil and wine of merry meeting.

Washington Irving

#19. Why can't we for once have a meeting in Starbucks?

Eoin Colfer

#20. I'm sorry I missed the meeting and hurt your little feely-weels okay?

Nenia Campbell

#21. If opportunity knocks, let it in. But with the way things are nowadays-I'd rather meet opportunity somewhere that's more public. I could meet opportunity in a coffee shop, but what if it works there? Well, I could suggest my grandma's basement.
-James Lee Schmidt and Jarod Kintz

James Lee Schmidt

#22. 3) Saturday night is the official meeting night of Penny Lane's Lonely Hearts Club. Attendance is mandatory. Exceptions are for family emergencies and bad hair days only.

Elizabeth Eulberg

#23. I suggest you leave now, or you'll be tied down and gagged until the end of this meeting."
"Tie us down?"
"And gag you," Joseph cheerfully reminded them.

Laura Kreitzer

#24. Honest good humor is the oil and wine of a merry meeting, and there is no jovial companionship equal to that where the jokes are rather small and laughter abundant.

Washington Irving

#25. And so we go and I meet his parents. And it's a very strange thing meeting your girlfriend's boyfriend's parents for the first time. Part of you is angry for obvious reasons and part of you still wants to make a good impression. On a side note, they seemed in perfect health.

Mike Birbiglia

#26. My favorite Congressional incongruity: ... Red State legislators galumphing from meeting to meeting in full pancake makeup. Estee Lauder may well make more money on Capitol Hill than in Beverly Hills.

Frank Bruni

#27. Herr Kafka, essen Sie keine Eier." (As one and only piece of dialog K recalls from his meeting with Rudolf Steiner - "Mr. Kafka don't eat eggs.

Franz Kafka

#28. Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a treeful of monkeys on nitrous oxide.

Terry Pratchett

#29. Emily's ginger brows were knit tight, the edges of each almost meeting over the bridge of her pert nose. You know I will, you daft baggage. As if we have any other option.

Kady Cross

#30. I hate meeting new people even new clients who intend to give me money. I try to be pleasant but I'm not very good at it. The best I can usually pull off is 'professional if somewhat chilly.' It's not ideal no. But it beats 'awkward and bitchy.

Cherie Priest

#31. While you've been gadding about the countryside, we've held a meeting, and we've all of us decided that you must go.'
In short, we've voted you out of the family,' Daffy said. 'It was unanimous.

Alan Bradley

#32. This is what life is about: seeing new places, meeting new people, grabbing life by the balls and squeezing until it coughs up a story worth telling.

Ruth Cardello

#33. Why was the meeting between the Americans and the Russians so tensed?
Because nobody knows what Vladimir Put In Barbara's Bush!
From 'Walk On By II

Stephan Attia

#34. Alfred," Merryweather said. "OIPEP is the only organization of its kind in the world, with practically unlimited resources and an intelligence network that spans every country in the planet. We shall do what any powerful, multinational bureaucracy would do in such a crisis. We shall hold a meeting!

Rick Yancey

#35. When they ran up to him, Percy said, 'Hey,' like they were just meeting for lunch or something.
'You're alive!' Frank marveled.
Percy frowned. 'The fall? That was nothing. I fell twice that far from the St. Louis Arch.'
'You did what?' Hazel asked.

Rick Riordan

#36. Secretary of State Clinton dared Iran on Monday to let her hold a town hall meeting in Tehran. That's telling 'em. If the ayatollahs had a sense of humor, they'd call her bluff.

Mark Steyn

#37. Though neither of them had ever called their meeting a case of love at first sight, they'd both agreed it had certainly been a case of pretty damned sure at first hour.

Clive Cussler

#38. Jakes nodded his dismissal. "Workable. Set up a meeting."
Mitchel stood. "Who would you like to send, sir?"
He smiled. "Ivy, I've neglected my duties as commander of The Baldain. I'll transport down to Earth and handle this matter myself.

Cheryl Sterling

#39. Charm is often despised but I can never see why. No one has it who isn't capable of genuinely liking others, at least at the actual moment of meeting and speaking. Charm is always genuine; it may be superficial but it isn't false.

P.D. James

#40. Death doesn't care about personalities - he's more interested in meeting quotas.

Jasper Fforde

#41. You know, this isn't how I imagined meeting Sophie's first real boyfriend."

"Mom."

Archer gave me a little squeeze. "You mean I'm the first guy your parents have rescued from an enchanted island via use of a magic mirror? I feel so special."

~ Grace, Sophie, Archer

Rachel Hawkins

#42. We both want you dead. I'm bringing the friendship bracelets to the next meeting.

Nenia Campbell

#43. I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.

Ronald Reagan