Kerry's Quotes

#1. My kids just brought home a beautiful pumpkin, but you know what? I'm going to return it because it's a Democratic pumpkin. It has the orange color of John Kerry's tan, and the roundness of Teddy Kennedy.

Arnold Schwarzenegger

#2. John Kerry's newfound interest in fiscal discipline is a political gimmick that defies his 20-year record in the Senate and stands in stark contrast to his reckless and expansive promises of new government spending on the campaign trail.

Steve Schmidt

#3. I suppose in John Kerry's world good diplomacy lets the boys in the bar finish raping the girl for fear of causing a fuss. Okay, that was unfair.

Jonah Goldberg

#4. It's a good thing Kerry's dead, because that funeral would've sent him over the edge, Henry said.

Gayle Forman

#5. John Kerry described his Republican critics as 'the most crooked, lying group I've ever seen.' Now, that's saying something, because Kerry's both a lawyer and a politician.

Jay Leno

#6. Much of John Kerry's recent surge has come at the expense of Howard Dean. The situation reflected in his hot new bumper sticker, 'Dated Dean, Married Kerry.' It's cute and a lot more tasteful than the alternative version, 'Dated Dean, Married Kerry, Finger-Banged Kucinich.'

Jon Stewart

#7. Everybody who served in John Kerry's boat under his command, save one, has stood with him.

Mark Shields

#8. Acceptance speeches can make or break presidential candidacies. It was Al Gore's 2000 acceptance speech that relaunched his candidacy and nearly saved him. John Kerry's speech and overall ineffective convention nearly sank him in 2004 (though he was almost saved by the debates).

Chuck Todd

#9. John Kerry's biography was central to his campaign.

Mark Shields

#10. The Democrats are all over this. Democratic strategists feel John Kerry's war record means he can beat Bush. They say when it comes down to it voters will always vote for a war hero over someone who tried to get out of the war. I'll be sure to mention that to Bob Dole when I see him.

Jay Leno

#11. A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks. Kerry's appeal to Southern blacks is obvious. He is a white man who lives far, far away.

Dennis Miller

#12. George Bush, Dick Cheney, every one of the speakers praised John Kerry's war record. No one said he was unfit. They said he has terrible judgment, and that's his record as a senator. Nobody questioned his military record.

Peter T. King

#13. He spent more time on the road to Damascus than a Syrian camel driver. And we thought nobody could fill John Kerry's flip-flops! ... [Romney's record was] "anything but conservative until he changed all the light bulbs in his chandelier in time to run for President."

Mike Huckabee

#14. John Kerry reportedly flew in his private hairdresser before his "Meet the Press" interview for a total cost of $1,000. That's $1,000 for a haircut, which sounds like a lot, but have you seen the size of Kerry's head.

Jay Leno

#15. John Kerry's service did not end in Vietnam. It began there.

Max Cleland

#16. John Kerry's campaign attacks on gas prices ignore the reality of Kerry's long record of supporting higher gas prices and blocking the president's comprehensive energy plan.

Steve Schmidt

#17. John Kerry's wife Teresa Heinz is on the cover of Newsweek magazine this week and they said that if he is elected president, she will be the oldest first lady in American history. But that doesn't bother John Kerry, he said, 'To me, she looks like a million bucks'

Jay Leno

#18. I can think of a lot of words to describe Senator Kerry's position on Iraq; 'consistent' is not one of them.

Dick Cheney

#19. I know it's superficial, and you can't measure art, which is supposed to be up to the individual, but I've watched the Oscars since I was a baby with my mother.

Kerry Condon

#20. This is deeply disturbing. Congress provided loans to help businesses hurt by the Sept. 11 attacks, not to be used as an accounting gimmick to cover up this administration's failure to provide for small businesses.

John F. Kerry

#21. Sometimes it's hard to start, but once it gets going, once you reach the tipping point - usually between chapter seven and nine - then it's like hanging onto a large snowball as it hurtles downhill.

Kerry Greenwood

#22. That's the weirdest thing about being cut off from life. Everything gets washed out or muted or recedes into the background except for other people's laughter. Other people's laughter gets very loud and jarring. It penetrates. It is a reminder that other people live.

Kerry Kletter

#23. I'll be honest with you. I'm a little bit of a loner. It's been a big part of my maturing process to learn to allow people to support me. I tend to be very self-reliant and private. And I have this history of wanting to work things out on my own and protect people from what's going on with me.

Kerry Washington

#24. We don't necessarily always agree, but hopefully we make each other think, and that's what matters.

Vanessa Kerry

#25. John Kerry is finding out that it is no fun to be the front runner, that's when you get all the heat. He had to deny internet rumors this week that he had Botox treatments. The Republicans say Kerry should have a clear, unfurrowed brow the old fashioned way by not giving a sh
.

Bill Maher

#26. Lot of people wondering if John Kerry supports gay marriages. Here's a hint ... he gets $1,000 haircuts.

Craig Kilborn

#27. I'm worried about John Kerry, he's so confident now that he's already planning his White House sex scandal.

David Letterman

#28. The thing about Stephen Schwartz is that, while it may be difficult to learn - it's a little bit like[Stephen] Sondheim; Sondheim is quite difficult to learn - but, once you have it in you: it never leaves you. It becomes some of your favorite music; it really does.

Kerry Ellis

#29. Life's a beach. Enjoy the Read.

Kerry Lonsdale

#30. I really love research. It's one of the things I love most about my job. I feel like it's me in the lab cooking up the character.

Kerry Washington

#31. You're not doing a good job of selling me this dumb fantasy. I'm not climbing into the back of your van if I have to be Robin. I'm Batman. That's how these things work.

John Kerry

#32. They say the farther away you are from the beach, the louder it sounds. That way it's always with you and you can always find your way back.

Kerry Kletter

#33. I think it's really rare to see women on television who are brilliant, selfish, vain, fallible - and I feel like I have all those capacities in myself, so it's good to see people in the media representing all of those things.

Kerry Bishe

#34. How about this John Kerry controversy? So he's out there in California, tells some kind of joke and it backfires. He's saying he botched the joke ... This guy can lose elections he's not even in.

David Letterman

#35. It was definitely a part of our life. I mean, my mom had both her brothers and her fiancee in Vietnam at the same time, so it wasn't just my dad's story, it was my mom's story too. And we definitely grew up listening to the stories.

Vanessa Kerry

#36. My brows arched upward. "That's an interesting selection. You're feisty tonight, aren't you?" He rolled his shoulders and grinned, slow and sexy. My stomach quickened.

Kerry Lonsdale

#37. It's always good business practice to eliminate any potential avengers.

Kerry Greenwood

#38. Well, I'm against Bush. I'm definitely not pro-Bush. I think he's a maniac and a mad man, and I think he needs to go. As far as Kerry
you know, I think that it really came down to a choice of the lesser of two evils, and unfortunately Bush won.

Roger Miret

#39. It's the [George Bush] president's fiscal policies that have driven up the biggest deficits in American history. He's added more debt to the debt of the United States in four years than all the way from George Washington to Ronald Reagan put together.

John F. Kerry

#40. Making the unbelievable believable is different on a set with 'Fantastic Four,' where it's like, 'Wind machines! Because the airship is coming in and you're pretending to be afraid!'

Kerry Washington

#41. Folks, Sarah Palin said she could see Russia from Alaska. Mitt Romney talks like he's only seen Russia by watching 'Rocky IV.'

John F. Kerry

#42. KURT: ....no way in hell he's getting away with short changing you."
KERRY ANNE: But like you said, I don't need it so why?
KURT: Because it's rightfully yours sweetheart.

Jordan Silver

#43. It's the most talented, not the least talented, who are continually trying to improve their dialogue skills. As is often the case, the rich get richer.

Kerry Patterson

#44. John Kerry suspended his campaign for five days this week in honor of President Reagan. And right now, he's ahead in the polls. How's that make him feel? Disappears for a week and he's up in the polls. What else can he do now but go into hiding.

Jay Leno

#45. Unlike George Bush and his friends at the big oil companies, I'm going to work for a real energy policy for this country that decreases America's dependence on foreign oil and helps lower the costs to American families.

John F. Kerry

#46. It's good to be playing one and a half hour again. In the States we played like an hour and when you got onstage it felt like all of a sudden you are already done your set. But now, it feels like we are touring again.

Kerry King

#47. John Kerry can be absolutely ruthless. I would not want to be on his enemies list when he's ready to go after you.

Douglas Brinkley

#48. He bailed on football practice." As soon as the words left me, my stomach pitched. This wasn't any of Phil's business. He chuckled. "So, the Golden Boy isn't so golden after all." He lifted his arm toward my house. "Walk you home?" "Um . . . OK," I heard myself agree.

Kerry Lonsdale

#49. Ask Osama bin Laden if he's better off now than he was four years ago.

John F. Kerry

#50. The hurricanes are following the tropical ocean temperature. The tropical ocean temperature is following the Northern Hemisphere. And it's very hard now to believe that there's anything natural about that.

Kerry Emanuel

#51. I've always been a writer because I've always been a student. My mom's a retired professor, so I come from a very academic background. I love writing, you know?

Kerry Washington

#52. I know there are a lot of musicians and a lot of artists, and there are a lot of writers and other people who inspire young people, but I'd like to see somebody in political life be able to connect and make these choices that we need to make in Washington real in terms of people's lives.

John F. Kerry

#53. I know that our country is strongest when we lead the world, when we lead strong alliances. And that's the way Eisenhower and Reagan and Kennedy and others did it.

John F. Kerry

#54. The good news is there's no devil. The bad news is there's no heaven. There's nothing.

Kerry Packer

#55. I know something about killing. I don't like killing. And I don't think a state honors life by turning around and sanctioning killing. Now, that's just a personal belief that I have.

John F. Kerry

#56. Traditionally the show must go on which is a stupid thing to say, but that in a nutshell is what's going on. We have a new record out; if we won't tour, the new record dies. It's reality - it's what business is nowadays. You just need to tour to sell your albums.

Kerry King

#57. I want to fully fund education, No Child Left Behind, special-needs education. And that's how we're going to be more competitive, by making sure our kids are graduating from school and college.

John F. Kerry

#58. I'm doing this play right now, the new David Mamet play. It's called 'Race,' and it's very interesting how people really leave the theater filled with the desire to talk about the play and the issues and the characters, and how they're all navigating their personal views around race.

Kerry Washington

#59. I'm glad the President finally found an economic development program. I'm just sad that it's only in Baghdad.

John F. Kerry

#60. I, for one, am actually still incredibly idealistic, and I still can credibly or very strongly believe that you have to keep fighting for what you believe in, because it's only when you stop that you've truly lost.

Vanessa Kerry

#61. [Sen. John] Kerry is also a man who opposes the death penalty, wants to restrict access to guns and voted against the resolution approving the start of ground operations against Saddam Hussein in 1991 - just what you would expect from Ted Kennedy's partner and Michael Dukakis's running mate.

David S. Broder

#62. The thing with Kerry is that all of this is a natural progression, her troubles. It's a cycle.

Laura Innes

#63. A Ted Kennedy, John Kerry, John Edwards, Howard Dean, George Soros, or Al Gore looks - no, acts - like he either came out of a hairstylist's salon or got off a Gulfstream.

Victor Davis Hanson

#64. I'm fascinated by rap and by hip-hop. I think there's a lot of poetry in it. There's a lot of anger, a lot of social energy in it. And I think you'd better listen to it pretty carefully, 'cause it's important.

John F. Kerry

#65. In truth, everyone argues about important issues. But not everyone splits up. It's how you argue that matters.

Kerry Patterson

#66. Grateful to The Kerry Gaynor Method for saving my manager's life. He quit smoking thanks to their genius Method.

Steve Aoki

#67. If you have a difficult message to deliver in any circumstance, it's always best to do it first up-front, and probably be a bit harder than you have to be because it's always easier to be nicer afterwards.

Kerry Stokes

#68. Maybe when he takes off his Clark Kent glasses and rips open the shirt, he's 'Super-Disappointment.' Slower than a speeding bullet, nowhere near as powerful as a locomotive, able to deliver a less than satisfying sexual experience in a single thrust.

Kerry Heavens

#69. I don't think it's really good once you've lost an election to sit around, watch your former opponent, and swipe at them.

Kerry Healey

#70. Sometimes it's hard for me to tell the difference between independent filmmaking and studio filmmaking because all the studios have these little independent satellites. It's interesting.

Kerry Washington

#71. I remember in the old days, when we were promoting a show, we'd be out taping flyers to high-school lockers. Now you just announce the show online, and it's a full house.

Kerry King

#72. During last night's debate, John Kerry and John Edwards were so friendly to each other some political experts think that they may end up running together. In fact Kerry and Edwards were so friendly, President Bush accused them of planning a gay marriage.

Conan O'Brien

#73. NAFTA recognizes the reality of today's economy - globalization and technology. Our future is not in competing at the low-level wage job; it is in creating high-wage, new technology jobs based on our skills and our productivity.

John F. Kerry

#74. Besides, when I read the list of people who are supporting Kerry, if I wasn't already a Bush supporter, I would have immediately switched. Linda Ronstadt? Don Henley? Geez, that's a good reason right there to vote for Bush.

Alice Cooper

#75. Our cause in the war on terror isn't helped when we have army officers like Lieutenant General William Boykin speaking in evangelical churches and claiming this as some sort of battle for the Christian religion. That's wrong. That's un-American.

John F. Kerry

#76. What's amazing about Sarah [Brightman] is that she's sustained such a career. She just keeps going - she's like a machine. She tours and records and loves what she does. I think she's a really good example to anybody in the industry that there is life beyond the shows.

Kerry Ellis

#77. At home, when I'm not pitching, I'll sit and sign autographs for the kids. I've always done that and I'll continue to do it. That's part of the job.

Kerry Wood

#78. It's taken some getting used to, that my father actually is a hero.

Alexandra Kerry

#79. You ought to sue."
"I don't know how to sew. I tried it once and I almost put my eye out."
If there is one thing Sahara Soto and Kerry Thompson have in common, it's their complete idiocy. In the girl's case, it's endearing.

Rose Christo

#80. John Kerry announced that he and his wife are leaving on a week-long vacation. He's going to take her back to the place where he first proposed to her - at her bank.

Jay Leno

#81. You know what's funny is that I have this ongoing relationship with the city of Washington D.C. I went to George Washington University, and my nickname was K-Dub - based on G-Dub - and I'm now on the board of trustees at George Washington University.

Kerry Washington

#82. I haven't got a problem with scrutiny. If it gets hot in the kitchen, don't cook a meal. People should be able to criticise us - it's completely appropriate.

Kerry Stokes

#83. It's not hard to make a space that looks good by itself. The trick is to craft a room that's even more attractive when it's occupied. That's when it becomes magical.

Kerry Joyce

#84. In terms of Iran and in terms of Saudi Arabia, of course they hate each other. That's no great secret. But John Kerry, who is I think doing a very good job, has tried to at least get these people in the room together because both of them are being threatened by ISIS.

Bernie Sanders

#85. Today, John Kerry announced a fool-proof plan to wipe out the $500B deficit. John Kerry has a plan, he's going to put it on his wife's Gold Card.

Craig Kilborn

#86. My friends, that's trickle-down economics, and I believe every worker in America is tired of being trickled on by George W. Bush

John F. Kerry

#87. Not being able to live without someone is not love. It's need.

Kerry Cohen

#88. I've never thrown out a TV set out of some hotel's window, but I have thrown a microwave out of one 'coz it was cooler.

Kerry King

#89. You see the pictures in the paper today of John Kerry windsurfing? He's at his home in Nantucket this week, doing his favorite thing, windsurfing. Even his hobby depends on which way the wind blows.

Jay Leno

#90. With 'swift-boating' now being used by the ignorant as a synonym for false charges, it's worth remembering that it was John Kerry who had to retract his statement about his secret Christmas mission to Cambodia, despite it having allegedly been 'seared, seared' into his memory.

Glenn Reynolds

#91. We don't come out of the womb filled with prejudice, racism, and homophobia. Kids are taught to hate, so we have to protect our young people's minds from those evils.

Kerry Washington

#92. My very first acting job was with Alan Parker on' Angela's Ashes,' but as a child, I had written to so many other productions just applying for any role. I always wanted to be an actress, and I did loads of acting summer schools.

Kerry Condon

#93. It's just I'd rather sleep through the days so I'll be awake for the nights, when the boys are out.

Kerry Cohen

#94. Terrorist organizations with specific political agendas may be encouraged and emboldened by Yasser Arafat's transformation from outlaw to statesman.

John F. Kerry

#95. We're in a battle for our lives for things that really matter to us. There's a shell game going on like I've never seen before.

John F. Kerry

#96. I didn't grow up thinking I was pretty; there was always a prettier girl than me. So I learned to be smart and tried to be funny and develop the inside of me, because I felt like that's what I had.

Kerry Washington

#97. Let's be honest: Kerry has no idea what it is to be even a middle-class white in this country.

Glenn Reynolds

#98. So, what's the first step to changing norms? It's breaking the code of silence around the problem that always sustains the status quo.

Kerry Patterson

#99. His dad had always told him that the red-faced were blusterers, not to be taken seriously. 'But if you see a bloke who's pale and shaking, son,' Bert's father had instructed, 'then run like blazes, because he might flamin' kill you.

Kerry Greenwood

#100. It's remarkable that the failures of the Obama, Clinton, Kerry foreign policy are not only uniting the Left and Right in Israel but might even be creating some common ground between Israel and the Palestinian Authority.

Ted Cruz