Jacking Quotes

#1. If you want to be miserable, think of yourself. If you want to be happy, think of others.

Sakyong Mipham

#2. Here is joy and neglect. A little mescal. A little jacking off, but mostly just work. - This is how I live, I am thinking.

Patti Smith

#3. He'd probably spent as much time practicing scales as he had jacking off.

Tara Kelly

#4. Stop jacking with me, Dad. All I ever wanted was the truth."
"That's the problem. People think if they can add up all the facts, they'll end up with the truth, but that's like sewin' body parts together in the hopes you'll get a man.

Carolee Dean

#5. Their handshake looked, for the first split-second he looked, like C.T. was jacking off and the little girl was going Sieg Heil.

David Foster Wallace

#6. I get happier every day. I have a sense of accomplishment every day of my life.

Sandra Bernhard

#7. If Mrs. Morton would stop verbally jacking off her husband and son, this would all be done so much more quickly, but then Chess figured it was just about the only sex the woman got.

Stacia Kane

#8. It was wonderful, a stunning happy ending to what began as another tragic rock & roll story, as if Bob Dylan had been arrested in Miami for jacking off in a seedy little XXX theater while stroking the spine of a fat young boy.

Hunter S. Thompson

#9. That's pretty much how we get through our own lives, watching television. Smoking crap. Self-medicating. Redirecting our attention. Jacking off. Denial.

Chuck Palahniuk

#10. OPERATION WAND-JACKING

Walt Disney Company

#11. The very fact of being human panics us into the most grotesque play-acting imaginable; and we deal in absurdities to keep life from being a total waste, like one constant jacking-off party.

Hal Bennett

#12. What were you doing in there?" she asked, unwilling to let it go.
... "Jacking off, naturally." She narrowed her eyes but seemed to be happy with that answer. Good to know. She was going to make a fabulous wife.

Karina Halle

#13. There's no place like home. And there's no toilet like your own.

Taylor York

#14. I know I'm not funny. I mean, let's face it, I'm no Groucho Marx. But if you're a guy, and you're watching late night television, are you gonna start jacking off to Groucho? I don't think so!

Sarah Silverman

#15. You never sleep," Mick said. "Beside the point. I might've been busy doing other things." "Like jacking off?" "I have people who do that for me," Prophet sniffed.

S.E. Jakes

#16. Callan took a deep breath. "I never expected you." He shook his head with an edge of amusement. "You are a dangerous woman, Merinus Tyler."
"Naw, just a determined woman." She grinned against his shoulder. "I know a good thing when I see it jacking off.

Lora Leigh

#17. Bereavement is terrible, of course. And when somebody you love dies, it's a time for reflection, a time for memory, a time for regret.

Richard Dawkins

#18. Never trust the captain who has never taken any education from the School of Storms!

Mehmet Murat Ildan

#19. I was a drinker, so I went through the scotches. Before single malts hit, there were really cheap scotches, because nobody was paying attention to them. Then by the time they started jacking those prices up, I moved on to vodka.

Lewis Black

#20. The part that's difficult is being single, at 41, after 10 years of marriage and two kids. That's like having a bunch of money in a currency of a country that doesn't exist anymore.

Louis C.K.

#21. We're looking at eight straight months of chaqueta."
"Chaqueta? Jacket?" Reid translated with a frown.
"No, man." Garcia grinned, fisting his hand and mimicking jacking off.

Victoria Vane

#22. Global Warming: It is a hoax. It is bad science. It is high-jacking public policy. It is the greatest scam in history.

John Coleman

#23. You're so fucking hot, you know that?" Kelly whispered.
"I bet you tell that to all your oldest friends as you're jacking them off."
Kelly snickered and arched his back, seeking contact. "No, just you.

Abigail Roux

#24. Because after you've crossed some lines, you just keep crossing them. And there's no escaping from constant escape. Distracting ourselves. Avoiding confrontation. Getting past the moment. Jacking off. Television. Denial.

Chuck Palahniuk

#25. Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping,
For only the hand of God can contain your hearts.

Khalil Gibran

#26. I have always had a problem with my weight.

Kathy Bates

#27. This so called 'Home of the Brave'
why isn't anybody Backing us up!
When they c these crooked ass Redneck cops
constantly Jacking us up

Tupac Shakur