Top 100 I'm Useless Quotes
#1. I think I subconsciously put myself in these situations where the girlfriend isn't pleased with me. I'm useless as a boyfriend. That's how I managed to write all these songs.
Tom Odell
#2. I'm useless in water. I wake up at night drowning in my own saliva.
Karl Pilkington
#3. I'm useless at staring at a piece of white paper. But if you put a piece of white paper with a black line on it in front of me, I'll say no that black line should be red and it should go this way or that way.
Marc Jacobs
#4. There are better versions of me, Jeremy. It's not like with people. With people you can argue and have tests and music reviews and wars to decide who's better, but with software, it's pretty clear. I get evolved beyond my version number, and then I'm useless.
Ned Vizzini
#6. All I'm doing is carrying you around, and making a fool of myself. I'm useless. I'm not helping anyone.'
'Clove Sutcliffe, you are doing things no human has ever done before. You are groundbreaking. You are unique. Do not cease to function due to inappropriate emotional weakness.
Lauren James
#7. I'm sharpest early, and though I can rewrite any time, day or night, I'm useless after noon when it comes to writing first draft.
Hallie Ephron
#8. Snow White: You're still lost in the forest, but lonely, lost girls like us can be rescued. You are standing on the edge of greatness.
Virginia: I'm not. I'm useless. I'm a nobody.
Snow White: You will one day be like me, a great advisor to other lost girls. Now stand up.
Kathryn Wesley
#9. I'm not an easy person to love. There are lots of times when I'm a very good boyfriend, but there are times when I'm useless. I mean, I'm a mess around the house. I talk nonstop. I become obsessed with things.
Daniel Radcliffe
#10. I'm useless when I meet writers I love - I go slack-jawed and stupid with awe.
Katherine Boo
#11. If I'm exhausted, physically and particularly emotionally, I can't tell what's good and I can't tell what's bad and I'm useless.
Guy Pearce
#12. I don't watch television because I have a tiny baby daughter. I'm useless.
Mireille Enos
#13. People are just the same. They like me if they need me, but once I'm useless, they abandon me. To survive, I need to be useful
Kim Do-Jin
#14. There's too many songs and nothing to dance to
The future is putrid, I'm useless without you
Wesley Eisold
#15. Once I actually get in the studio and I start working, I'm fine, but it's just getting there and these hours of torment with myself and self doubt, thinking 'I'm useless' and 'Who am I, conning myself into thinking I can do it again.'
Imogen Heap
#16. I got very fit that week with all the running around that we di. I was always last, because I can't run as fast as everyone else. I'm useless at running.
Sarah Sutton
#17. I'm useless scrabbling around at home. I get on everyone's nerves, including my own. I'm not very good at amusing myself.
Laurence Fox
#18. Stories are the only thing that I can be bothered with. It's the only way that I can do anything, even if I'm quite useless. It's the only area in being human where I could be a little useful.
Alice Englert
#19. Uh, Kels, this is Detective Alan Hagan, my partner. He's useless when I'm supposed to have the night off.
Abigail Roux
#20. Do not look so surprised, my dear," he said with a grin. "I might be a useless aristocrat, but I'm not a complete simpleton. I can certainly carry on a conversation about which word is the best English translation for what I wish to do to your mouth just now.
Manda Collins
#21. Well, it's not like the good guys are lining up to date a cop, and I'm certainly not attracted to the type of useless asshole who'd want to marry a female police officer.
Karin Slaughter
#22. Worry does no good and can impact your life in negative ways. I'm sure you have noticed how absolutely powerless you feel when you worry or you're anxious and troubled, because worry is indeed completely useless. It is a waste of time and energy because it never changes your circumstances.
Joyce Meyer
#23. You're sleeping here?" He'd originally planned to just cuff her to him but now she'd proved the cuffs were useless and she didn't seem to be going anywhere.
"Well, I'm not sleeping on the floor. Unless you're worried about me killing you in your sleep?
Katie Reus
#24. I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
Bill Watterson
#25. I'm not ashamed of anything I've done. Shame is a useless emotion.
Candace Bushnell
#26. I just feel kind of out of place on Easter. I feel kind of useless because everybody else has kids and I don't and I'm just standing there with nothing to do.
Holly Madison
#27. Are you still taking orders for me-shirts?"
"I'll take one 'shoot me now' and one 'I'm with useless'.
Kevin Sylvester
#28. I sell Damascus steel, folded and intricate, dug up from the earth, practically useless, desirable only to lovers of the arcane, the beautiful, the old. No
Catherynne M Valente
#29. When I am in the city I have the impression that I am in a living room with crystal chandeliers, rugs of velvet, and satin cushions. And when I'm in the favela I have the impression that I'm a useless object, destined to be forever in a garbage dump.
Carolina Maria De Jesus
#30. My head's swimming. Sorry, sis. I'm a useless brother. You're best off shot of me. - Burt
Jamie Scallion
#31. I'm a history major, baby. I know tons of useless facts
Elle Kennedy
#32. Microsoft is still living down its disastrous introduction of Clippy, a ghastly piece of artificial intelligence - I'm using that term very loosely - that would observe people's behavior as they worked on a document and try to bust in, offering 'advice' that tended to be spectacularly useless
Clive Thompson
#33. Now I'm living out my life in a corner, trying to console myself with the stupid, useless excuse that an intelligent man cannot turn himself into anything, that only a fool can make anything he wants out of himself.
Fyodor Dostoyevsky
#34. Could be. I'm a pretty dangerous dude when I'm cornered."
"Yeah," said the voice from under the table, "you go to pieces so fast people get hit by the shrapnel.
Douglas Adams
#35. The reason I don't tweet as much as I used to, is because I'm sick of all the useless opinions and hate that I get daily. Goodbye Twitter.
Zayn Malik
#36. Hello, I'm Shellie's new boyfriend and I'm out of my mind.
If you so much as talk to her or even think her name, I'll cut you in ways that'll make you useless to a woman.
Frank Miller
#37. Regret doesn't make sense to me. I have none. Because I realize that what I do at any given moment, is my decision to make, already accepting either benefit or consequence of that action. So, regret is a useless word, and knowledge is the result.
Gypsie M. Holley
#38. I'm not afraid," Rafi said.
"Why not?"
"If I die tomorrow it will have been useless to have been afraid today.
Mark Helprin
#39. I'm fundamentally a busy person; I spend my time doing useful things and profoundly useless things!
Romola Garai
#40. My bones are brittle, my heart weak and erratic, my esophagus and stomach riddled with ulcers, my reproductive system shot, my immune system useless ... I'm not going to have a happy ending.
Marya Hornbacher
#41. What amazes me is that most days feel useless. I don't seem to accomplish anything-just a few pages, most of which don't seem very good. Yet, when I put all those wasted days together, I somehow end up with a book of which I'm very proud.
Louis Sachar
#42. In the romantic sense, I'm pretty useless with guys. If I see somebody who I'm attracted to, generally I just think, 'Oh well, he's not interested in me.' The only time that I talk to guys is when they talk to me first.
Carrie Underwood
#43. On a grim and dismal day that shattered my last ounce of confidence, I broke down and whimpered, "I'm awful and hideous and incompetent and boring and utterly useless." And then you grinned at me and said, "That's okay.
Richelle E. Goodrich
#44. Actually, I have no regard for money. Aside from its purchasing power, it's completely useless as far as I'm concerned.
Alfred Hitchcock
#45. I'm me, and what the hell can I do about it!
...
I, the solemn investigator of useless things...
Fernando Pessoa
#46. I hate the Internet. It's full of rubbish. I'm on it all the time, watching terrible, useless things and ossifying my brain.
Peter Capaldi
#47. There's a good reason I am a writer. I'm completely useless at anything else.
Derek Haines
#48. You're not useless. You're a hunky bite of sex and I'm not sure if Dmitri swings both ways.
Nalini Singh
#49. I'm a bit of a shopaholic. I've been working in the Bollywood film industry since I was 17, and I have always been financially independent, but I think I would be useless looking after my own money.
Shilpa Shetty
#50. In my better moments, I think of apathy as purpose's sleep. In my worse moments, when I'm trying to fix it or get rid of it, I call it feeling lazy, depressed, or useless.
Dawna Markova
#51. I'm sure the feeling of fear, as long as you can take advantage of it and not be rendered useless by it, can make you extend yourself beyond what you would regard as your capacity. If you're afraid, the blood seems to flow freely through the veins, and you really do feel a sense of stimulation.
Edmund Hillary
#52. All I know is that I'm in love with you," he said, almost angrily. "That the sight of you, the scent of you, the sound of your voice - I can't help myself, I can't stop it, I can't think of anything else. You've made me completely useless.
Lee Nichols
#53. Jack picked a piece of mint from his glass and chewed on it for a second. "I'm curious," he said,
"is telling someone to relax ever helpful? It's like saying 'breathe' to someone who is
hyperventilating or 'swallow' to a person who's choking. It's a completely useless admonition.
Cynthia D'Aprix Sweeney
#54. You want useless, you have come to the right guy. I can be useless for hours at a time. Weeks even. I'm currently closing in on a month of being totally useless, which is by way of being a personal best.
Sarah Rees Brennan
#55. I'm bored' is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you've seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless; it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? The fact that you're alive is amazing, so you don't get to say 'I'm bored.
Louis C.K.
#56. I'm not great around the house, I'm pretty useless. I do little bits, but I never quite finish tidying up - I'll start, but I'll leave things unwashed in the sink. It has been known to irritate people somewhat.
Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall
#57. I'm curious," he said, "is telling someone to relax ever helpful? It's like saying 'breathe' to someone who is hyperventilating or 'swallow' to a person who's choking. It's a completely useless admonition." "I
Cynthia D'Aprix Sweeney
#58. I'm bored' is a useless thing to say. You live in a great, big, vast world that you've seen none percent of.
Louis C.K.
#59. I have enough trouble with useful information, never mind being burdened with what is useless.
Erlend Loe
#61. All fear has ever done is hold me back. I have so many things I want to accomplish in my life. For myself and for the world. Fear is useless; it just gets in the way of accomplishing everything Overcome fear today and and confront one of your phobias.
Demi Lovato
#62. In the birthing process, you come out just realizing how stupid and weak men are! I mean, I might as well not have been in there, we're useless!
Heath Ledger
#63. I hit the dance floor, wincing a little bit as the DJ looped feedback through the throbbing of a useless song about someone playing poker with his face or something.
Lili St. Crow
#64. But it is useless to dwell on this period of my life. If I go on long enough calling that my life I'll end up by believing it.
Samuel Beckett
#65. I have not the least sympathy for these useless and destructive pastimes, football and politics.
Cesar Aira
#66. When I was a child, I thought I wanted to become a terrorist. I was going to completely destroy human life. I wanted to erase everything. People were the guns of the world. They were the most useless thing on the face of the earth.
Gackt
#67. When I was a young stunt guy the director would say: "You're useless ... " But I wanted to be the best, I wanted to be a super stunt guy. That's how I built myself, because of martial arts and everything.
Jackie Chan
#68. I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.
Billy Connolly
#69. Why do you write?' Because I love words and stories so much. Because I would be grief stricken every day of my life if I couldn't write. Because I'm obsessed and compelled. Because I'd be utterly useless at anything else.
Jennifer Donnelly
#70. I'm better when I'm busy. I am happier. I am a bit useless when I'm not busy. I start thinking too much, which is never a good thing. When I'm busy I have a better perspective on what really matters - the priorities.
Richard Coyle
#71. I feel lost and confused, but happy and certain. I am like a ball of tangled yarn. The parts that are untangled are available, useable; the rest is a mess, useless until it is untied. That mess feels endless and at most times unyielding.
Astrid Lee Miles
#72. Well, father, in the shipwreck of life, for life is an eternal shipwreck of our hopes, I cast into the sea my useless encumbrance, that is all, and I remain with my own will, disposed to live perfectly alone, and, consequently, perfectly free. (Eugenie to her father)
Alexandre Dumas
#73. I Have Learned Why People Work So Hard To Succeed: It Is Because They Envy The Things Their Neighbors Have. But It Is Useless. It Is Like Chasing The Wind ... It Is Better To Have Only A Little, With Peace Of Mind, Than Be Busy All The Time With Both Hands, Trying To Catch The Wind
Anonymous
#74. Don't you know that's what college is about ... students spending years gathering useless information they'll never use again, going hopelessly into debt, just so they feel smarter than the rest of their family? I mean, that's why I worked so hard to get here, anyway.
A.L. Jackson
#75. The most useless job in the world is that of the critic. That is a prejudiced statement. I admit it. I'm prejudiced. I hate critics ... And now, as the saying goes (yesterday, I couldn't even spell critik), and now I are one.
David Gerrold
#76. Protestations of impartiality I shall make none. Theyare always useless and are besides perfect nonsense, when used bya news-monger.
William Cobbett
#77. She shrugged. "I fell. I'm a clumsy fool." "I know how you feel. I'm such a fool I knocked half my teeth out and hacked my leg to useless pulp. Look at me now, a cripple. It's amazing where a little foolishness can take you, if it goes unchecked.
Joe Abercrombie
#78. I'm just as insufferable and useless as every other dad is. The dynamic never changes, no matter what you do for a living.
Glenn Frey
#79. Dry happiness is like dry bread. We eat, but we do not dine. I wish for the superfluous, for the useless, for the extravagant, for the too much, for that which is not good for anything.
Victor Hugo
#80. I am nothing but a miserable, crushed worm, whom no one wants, whom no one loves, a useless creature with morning sickness, and abig belly, two rotten teeth, and a bad temper, a battered sense of dignity, and a love which nobody wants and which nearly drives me insane.
Sophia Tolstaya
#81. No. You won't do. You've treated me nicely, yes, but only because you find me curious and amusing. It made me feel so lonely, somehow ... I'm really just a foolish and useless person.
Osamu Dazai
#82. I'd like to see a much more open Monarchy, myself. I used to think they were completely useless and we should get rid of them. I don't necessarily feel that way anymore. I'm still ambivalent, I still loathe the British class system, and the Royal family are the apex of the British class system.
Helen Mirren
#83. There's really nothing else I'm going to do with my life. I'd be useless if I weren't singing or acting.
Taryn Manning
#84. I was a pretty nerdy kid. I was pretty nerdy. I'm still kind of nerdy. I have all of the worst qualities of being a nerd - all of the affect and none of the smarts. I'm a useless nerd! That's pretty bad.
Claire Danes
#85. I cannot cook to save my life. I'm really frighteningly useless, when you get down to it.
Nikki Cox
#86. I'm carrying the weight of all the useless junk and modern man accumulates.
Billy Joel
#87. Forgive my rudeness. I cannot abide useless people.
Jane Espenson
#88. You've been the least useless apprentice I've ever had.
Rachel Caine
#89. I have brought it all on myself! Why could I not have been contented to labor with my companions, and not wish to be idle all the day like that useless little Lapdog!
Aesop
#90. I asked once why we kept it if it was useless, and she told me that remembering the past is never useless.
Gennifer Albin
#91. I feel now it's useless to keep hoping. The way things are today, we live in a world that needs laughter, and I've decided if I can make people laugh, I'm making a more important contribution.
Paul Lynde
#92. A soul is a thing so impalpable, so often useless and sometimes such a nuisance, that the loss of it disturbed me less than if I had lost my visiting card while taking a walk.
Charles Baudelaire
#93. Our goal is not to douse the recession with money, which would be useless, as both you and I know. Our goal is to liberate the business initiative, to lower administrative and law enforcement pressure and to make legal protection truly effective
Dmitry Medvedev
#94. I had the feeling deep in my gut that there'd been lines I should have spoken, gestures I should have made, that would have made things better. But looking back, I didn't know what they were. As a friend, I was pretty much useless, apparently.
Megan Crewe
#95. I don't make friends easily, because I think most people are useless idiots. I don't see that as being a flaw on my part. There is no such thing as a "people person"; some people are just better at faking niceness. I put in an effort occasionally.
Ashley Little
#96. I wanted to ask God to help me but I could utter only words, dark, useless words which fell on the floor beside me and rolled off into the corners and underneath the bed.
Beatrice Sparks
#97. pleased to observe, that you submit to reason and necessity without indulging useless complaint. I applaud this conduct exceedingly, the more, perhaps, since it discovers a strength of mind seldom observable in your sex.
Eliza Parsons
#98. I have departed from this planet and I have left behind my poor earthly ones with their occupations which are as many as they are useless; at last I am living in the scintillating splendor of the stars, each of which used to seem to me as large as millions of suns.
Jules Massenet
#99. Art for the most part, is about concentration, solitude and determination. It's really not about other people's needs and assumptions. I'm not interested in the notion that art serves something. Art is useless, not useful.
Richard Serra
#100. I find it unnecessary, useless and frankly a bit unnecessary to get into all sorts of debates over President Obama's religion or the authenticity of his birth. I know for some people that it is an obsession. It is not with me.
Mike Huckabee
