Top 35 Humour Sarcasm Quotes
#1. Its deadpan and her sarcasm sailed straight on past each other, strangers passing on a dark road in the night.
Nicole Kornher-Stace
#2. What was up with class today? It was watered-down porn. He practically had you and Patch on top of your lab table, horizontal, minus your clothes, doing the Big Deed.
Becca Fitzpatrick
#3. What if," replied Inspector Fry in the same maddeningly curteous tone, "we were all to construct daisy chains and drape them so as to shield the words from public view?
Lyndsay Faye
#4. Nina was about to snap that she didn't appreciate the sarcasm when she saw the expression on his face. He looked like someone had just given him a tuba full of puppies.
Leigh Bardugo
#6. I'd heard street food was a big thing here in Mexico but I didn't think it meant the creatures that lived on the street.
Karl Pilkington
#7. You are soft person you said. But you're soft as shit: it is very soft but stinking!
Ilze Falb
#8. Truly," remarked Nandi as we entered a darkened tunnel, "it is amazing that you have not died yet, mistress." "Well, hang in there. The night is young.
Richelle Mead
#9. What are you doing here?"
All right, he was standing in front of an easel, holding a paint palette and brush. "Taxidermy?" he responded with just a touch of his own sarcasm.
Robyn Carr
#10. In fact,' said Poirot, 'she stabbed him in the dark, not realising that he was dead already, but somehow deduced that he had a watch in his pyjama pocket, took it out, put back the hands blindly and gave it the requisite dent.
Agatha Christie
#12. Sarcasm doesn't suit you, Melissa,' Graham growled. 'Really? I've always thought it brings out my eyes.
Christine Warren
#13. This is supposed to be a lighthearted session of symbolic document destruction, not a political debate.
Veronica Roth
#14. Dr. Cox: Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present, Man Not Caring.
[points to self]
Bill Lawrence
#15. Clearly, she hadn't heard of the two words 'social' and 'life'.
Adele Rose
#16. I BELIEVE EVERYONE IS SPECIAL ...
BUT SOME PEOPLE THINK .
. IT'S JUST ANOTHER WAY OF SAYING NO-ONE IS
ASHISH RANJAN
#17. Oh, that's great. That way, when things have quieted down, and we come up for air, or money, or re-supply, we'll get a nice explosive package from him that says "so nice to see you again" in a way that only multi-megaton yields can.
Howard Tayler
#18. I get my share of mud flung my way, but the secret is to dance in the rain and the mud will wash away.
Philip Catshill
#19. If you want to know the Correct term for me, I'm a Dark-Hunter."
Nick digested that word slowly. "Which means what? You hunt darkness?"
"Yes, Nick. That's exactly what I do. There's just not enough of it." Now, there was some sarcasm you could cut with a knife.
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#20. That's one way we differ, Jaime and I. He's taller as well, you may have noticed.
George R R Martin
#21. What are we doing tonight, Spock?' Luca grinned at Jacob.
'Apparently, he's going to New Zealand,' Ellen replied with heavy sarcasm.
'New Zealand?'
'It's code for Outer Space.
Sharon Sant
#22. Are you a house-wife, Mrs Silvers?' he asked. 'What would you recommend for getting burger relish out of a white shirt?'
The seething woman cranked the venom-level of her gaze up to eleven, and Raven smiled pleasantly back.
A. Ashley Straker
#23. You seem to know a lot about it," she said. "And you do subtleties."
"Yeah. Like I've always wanted to destroy the Nine Worlds while committing suicide."
"Well, there's no need to be rude," protested Sif.
Joanne Harris
#24. Of course. I died today, and now I'm going to fight aliens with a light saber. Maybe after that we can look for mermaids. Or unicorns."
"No," he says. "Just aliens."
Was that the barest hint of humour in his tone?
Eve Silver
#25. Nefarious purposes translation: For disgusting demon sex and the birth of the Devil incarnate. Nice.
Elle Casey
#26. The platform underneath the balloon fell on her as she was trying to escape," she explained. "She was crushed."
"I'd have been disappointed too.
Anthony Horowitz
#27. Im.' The monosyllable was heavy with contempt. 'E's a twat.'
'Is he?'
'Yeah, 'e is. Ask Kieran.'
She gave the impression that she and Kieran stood together, sane, dispassionate observers of the idiots populating Lula's world.
Robert Galbraith
#28. While the Clave disapproves of trespassers, oddly they take an even darker view of beheading and skinning people. They're peculiar that way.
Cassandra Clare
#29. I had always been warned that American didn't always get sarcasm
Lindsey Kelk
#30. I should just build a bleeding house here," I mutter as I pick myself up off the snow-covered ground. "Maybe get a few chickens. Plant a garden.
Sabaa Tahir
#31. Thorn grunted and the metal control fell from his spasming fingers. It bounced across the dusty concrete and I stomped down as hard as I could. I felt more than heard the metallic crunch under my boot. Another irreplaceable artifact ruined, courtesy of Julia Reed.
Erica Lindquist
#32. Not even a hand-stitched suit could hide a body gone ruinously to seed. I was tempted to offer some fashion advice, but I didn't think he'd welcome the news that this year, bellies are being worn inside the trousers
Val McDermid
#33. Oh, to be the author of prison letters. It's a young girl's dream come true.
Jenny B. Jones
#34. Here is a man whose life and actions the world has already condemned - yet whose enormous fortune ... has already brought him acquittal!
Marcus Tullius Cicero
#35. Sketchy black van? Weird stalking of my house? What are you going to do next, offer me some candy?
Hannah Harrington
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