Humorous Religious Quotes

#1. You can make positive deposits in your own economy every day by reading and listening to powerful, positive, life-changing content and by associating with encouraging and hope-building people.

Zig Ziglar

#2. If God is everywhere, I had concluded, then He is in food. Therefore, the more I ate the godlier I would become. Impelled by this new religious fervor, I glutted myself like a fanatic.

Woody Allen

#3. Life is about more that quotes about life

John Chaplin

#4. Learn not to be attached to other people, to certain types of experiences. Allow the flow of life to guide you wherever it is supposed to and accept with equanimity, with balance, with poise, whatever happens.

Frederick Lenz

#5. You can shine everywhere you are.

Lailah Gifty Akita

#6. Problems arise when people act as if their "boulders" are daily loads, and refuse help, or as if their "daily loads" are boulders they shouldn't have to carry. The results of these two instances are either perpetual pain or irresponsibility.

Henry Cloud

#7. How could a woman who was that beautiful, who smelled that good, who had such perfectly lovely teeth and bright eyes, be so thoroughly, completely, entirely, stark raving mad?" ~ Robert Cameron

Lynn Kurland

#8. In politics there's never a magic wand.

Julia Gillard

#9. Writing isn't something you do because you feel like it. You never feel like it. You write because there's a rat in your brain chewing up the spirals of your DNA and you want to get the words down before they disappear.

Chloe Thurlow

#10. The USA is so enormous, and so numerous are its schools, colleges and religious seminaries, many devoted to special religious beliefs ranging from the unorthodox to the dotty, that we can hardly wonder at its yielding a more bounteous harvest of gobbledygook than the rest of the world put together.

Peter Medawar

#11. I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious
unless he purposely shut the eyes of his mind & keep them shut by force.

Mark Twain

#12. I look back at my adolescence, and I'm shocked at the things I did that were my idea of adult behavior.

Katherine Waterston

#13. I'm asking you to give me a chance, however slim, to prove myself."
My throat tightened. "Cade ... I'm not a science experiment."
"Good to know, but I rocked biology. Lab was my favorite," he teased.
"I'm serious."
"So am I.

Beth Mikell

#14. Long before the word Zionism was uttered for the first time, old religious Jews came from all over the world to die in Jerusalem. It is the finest place to die in - it has always been acknowledged. It has a joie de mourir quite its own.

George Mikes

#15. If god is dead, who's going to fix this mess?

Satoshi Kon

#16. Above all, the photographs I use are not arty in any sense of the word. I think photography is dead as fine art; its only place is in the commercial world, for technical or information purposes.

Edward Ruscha

#17. Don't worry! On another Earth it already happened',

Terry Pratchett

#18. If every book was judged by its cover, very few would be read; education would be limited, and fewer movies would be made.

Ellen J. Barrier

#19. The old adage that polite conversation should not include talk of politics or religion is understandable because both subjects are so heavily laden with emotion that discussion can quickly turn to shouting. Blood is shed over politics, religion and the two in combination.

John C. Danforth

#20. As while other passions in your life may, at some point, begin to bank their fires, the shared happiness of good homemade food can last as long as we do.

Jenni Ferrari-Adler