Top 23 Humorous Mother Quotes
#2. She looked out and saw a tall and comely woman beckoning to her. Susannah's first look at Mia in the flesh astounded her, because the chap's mother was *white.* Apparently Odetta-that-was now had a Caucasian side to her personality and how that must frost Detta Walker's racially sensitive butt!
Stephen King
#3. It's all your fault, Mother,' said Larry austerely; 'you shouldn't have brought us up to be so selfish.' 'I like that!' exclaimed Mother. 'I never did anything of the sort!' 'Well, we didn't get as selfish as this without some guidance,' said Larry.
Gerald Durrell
#4. I screamed, Go to hell! in the car, and the GPS took me to my mother-in-law's house.
Emma Beasley
#6. Adorable children are considered to be the general property of the human race. Rude children belong to their mothers.
Judith Martin
#7. Shut up, Arthur,' said my mother, and he zipped his mouth shut like an infuriating child.
Ginger started to laugh. Not at anything in particular, but just because Ginger was stoned.
Sarah Winman
#8. The thought of my mother talking to me about sex makes me want to stab my eyes out with a fork, gouge even deeper and scramble my brains to prevent the conversation from ever happening.
Addison Moore
#9. And I remind you of your mother now? I have got to look into a manlier cologne.
Cassandra Clare
#10. I doubt you would recognize an adventure of any sort if it came right up and bit you on the a
Mother!
I was going to say arm.
Victoria Alexander
#12. They appear somewhat unreliable," he murmured.
"Unreliable? Nonsense, Superior! Out of luck is all, and we both know how that goes, no? Why, there's not a man of them I wouldn't trust my mother to."
"Are you sure?"
"She's been dead these twenty years. What harm could they do her now?
Joe Abercrombie
#13. I could not imagine my youngest standing above her soiled grandmother in the wing chair and saying, "mother, let's kill her. "That's the only choice.
Alice Sebold
#14. Anand, look at the back of my hands. No hair. The sign of an advanced race, boy. And look at yours. No hair either. But you never know. With some of your mother's bad blood flowing in your veins you could wake up one morning and find yourself hairy like a monkey
V.S. Naipaul
#15. Perhaps I should have pointed out more often that without her (mother's) guidance and example I might have gone straight from short pants to Long Bay Gaol, which in those days was still in use and heavily populated by larcenous young men who had chosen their parents less wisely.
Clive James
#16. Remember, you can lead a fifty-seven-year-old body to motherhood, but you can't make it stay awake.
Erma Bombeck
#17. The only person who worries about my mother is God, and that's only because she wants His job.
Sue Civil-Brown
#18. Mother said we had reached the Age of Reason and had to be good now. We must have because we wanted Willy Starr instead.
Marie Clair
#19. Why had his mother gone to the trouble of bringing him into the world if the most exciting moment in his life was having been made lame by a bayonet?
Felix J. Palma
#20. None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.
George Burns
#21. It's Salvation. When Jen told me I had a vision. A vision Rena. I think I saw the blessed mother smiling and she was hold ing a loofa.
[In regards to moving out of dorms and having three bathrooms between 4 roomates]
Nora Roberts
#22. I sensed more than recognized the sound of those skeletal knuckles on the door. I was too young for it to be Death, so it had to be his mother.
Dan Skinner
#23. Can I have my ear back?" He asked irritably.
She blinked.
"Mother, can you tell this creature here to loosen her hold?
Anya Wylde
