Humor Relationships Women Quotes

#1. I make love with a focus and intensity that most people reserve for sleep.

Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#2. The more she turned right the more I turned wrong.

Mark W. Boyer

#3. I need to be silent for a while, worlds are forming in my heart.

Meister Eckhart

#4. If you only attract Mr. Wrong or Ms. Crazy, evaluate the common thread in this diversity of people: YOU!

Valerie J. Lewis Coleman

#5. There's a cover for every pot, but I've never seen so many mismatched pots and covers in all my life. - Ellen Wasserfeldman, from Notes from Ellen Wasserfeldman by Alisa Dana Steinberg

Alisa Steinberg

#6. Don't get mad about the infestation of fleas if you keep shopping at the dog pound.

Valerie J. Lewis Coleman

#7. Children are our future we must take care of them with maximum effort.

Naomi Campbell

#8. To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken.

Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#9. The manlier you are, the harder it is to understand what a woman wants: there is not a hint of female brain in you.

Criss Jami

#10. Remember it's all just a mirror we made to see ourselves in.

Grant Morrison

#11. Sleeping with a man half your age can be exhausting, but if it's too much for him you can always find a younger man.

Barbara Taylor Bradford

#12. His latest theory about his dealings with women isn't that he's lost his reason or that women are illogical (Deb, for instance, displays exemplary thought processes;) it's just that a certain vital part of the interface between them is strongly encrypted and requires some workaround.

Adam Felber

#13. That's all women need men for? Sperm, a paycheck, and free flights?

Nicki Elson

#14. We laughed together. It's so lovely laughing with a man. It feels positive. Relaxed ...

James Lusarde

#15. You can get away with saying much more with humor than you can with a straight face

Sherry Argov

#16. Boys dream of strippers, men dream of their women waiting for them at home.

Kathleen Brooks

#17. A lot of Christians are blaming the devil for their own self-inflicted wounds.

Joyce Meyer

#18. The words, I love you, are empty without clarification. Women prefer to be told what they can expect. It is measurable like a Weight Watcher's diet, with extra points at the end of the week if you don't cheat.

Shannon L. Alder

#19. My old man taught me to never trust anything that bleeds for three days and doesn't die.

Tommy Tran

#20. 'It's not you, it's me.'
'Oh God. That's exactly what my last three boyfriends said when they dumped me. Is it in the Y-Chromosome User's Manual or something?'
He grinned. 'On page five. But, you know, don't tell anyone I told you.'

Kim Fielding

#21. Our sense of safety depends on predictability, so anything living outside the usual rules we suspect to be an outlaw, a ghoul.

Diane Ackerman

#22. I will never deny that life isn't fair. It seems as though when a woman leaves a man she is strong and independent, but when a man leaves a woman he is a pig and a jerk.

Criss Jami

#23. You can't make a woman love you. Not even with duct tape.

J. Richard Singleton

#24. If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband's murder.

Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#25. No one can be your sun, moon, or stars until you have your own world.

K.M.Docherty

#26. Basically, all women are nurturers and healers, and all men are mental patients to varying degrees.

Nelson DeMille

#27. Me Tarz-tosterone; You Estro-Jane

Tony Cleaver

#28. Can I have a glass of water?" Her voice was hoarse, probably from screaming. She'd always sounded like that after they'd-

He didn't just force the thought aside. He clubbed it unconscious, threw it into a crawl space and walled it up alive.

Jenny Trout

#29. I like playing on stage, don't get me wrong.

John Oates

#30. Nothing spices up one's sex life like having a partner.

Jacob M. Appel

#31. I was taught to draw very well when I was in school at Boston. And I grew to enjoy drawing so much that I never stopped.

Ellsworth Kelly

#32. hate is easy. love takes courage. x3

Christopher Nicole

#33. Since time immemorial any woman with half a brain has known that in the pursuit of romance she must hide it

Mavis Cheek

#34. And then, as reason seeped back into my overheated brain, I would realize how much alike we were: that my father angered me the most when he was most like me.

Alan Bradley

#35. Stop looking for your better half! You need to be whole to attract your better whole, if you expect to have a flourishing relationship.

Valerie J. Lewis Coleman