Humor But Oh So True Quotes

#1. I could say how well he dances, but that isn't true, for he dances like that big friendly bear I saw last Christmas.

Winston Graham

#2. I would rather write a book without a title if my true friend chooses to live in a million dollar home in London and acts foreign.

Duop Chak Wuol

#3. Why bother with a cunning plan when a simple one will do?

Terry Pratchett

#4. The sad thing about true stupidity is that you can do absolutely nothing about it.

John Cleese

#5. Climate is what you expect, weather is what you get.

Robert A. Heinlein

#6. It is a cliche, and it is also true, that humor springs from existential pain - from a need to blunt the awareness that life is essentially a fatal disease of unpredictable symptoms and unknown duration.

Gene Weingarten

#7. Love has a way of making the sane insane and the insane normal.

Shannon L. Alder

#8. I realize how much [Mark] Twain fabricated things. I like it very much, but it's only half true. And it shows what he was trying to do, which was just entertain. Which he does very successfully, though the humor is almost dated now.

John Gimlette

#9. We grant God the possession of all the qualities of mind except the one that keeps the others healthy; that watches over their dignity; that focuses their vision true
humor.

Mark Twain

#10. The true New Yorker secretly believes that people living anywhere else have to be, in some sense, kidding.

John Updike

#11. As I sat in the hot, salty water, I thought, 'No wonder Mr. Bubble always gives me a urinary tract infection and hives.' Mr. Bubble was for common people. Mr. Bubble was for my so-called brother, their true child. I was a Vanderbilt. I should bathe in condiments and seasonings.

Augusten Burroughs

#12. Every Hero Becomes a Bore at last." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Tim O. Casey

#13. In my experience, what every true artist wants, really wants, is to be paid.

Terry Pratchett

#14. It is better for a realist to bend his will and ethics to accommodate a true friend than it is for him to stick to his principles that may turn the friend into an adversary.

Janvier Chouteu-Chando

#15. Gabriel jokes, "If they find out Blondine got the last of the bread there'll be murder."
Nesbitt says, "If that's true I'll murder her myself.

Sally Green

#16. Everything is possible in America, except the production of intelligence.

Mie Hansson

#17. Only a person with the true heart of a dictionary-writer would be lying in bed, three days after being stabbed in the gut, worrying about his P's.

Kristin Cashore

#18. I'm Canadian, so I'm an expert at mundane fatalism.

MCM

#19. I've always had these fantasies about being in a normal family in which the parents come to town and their adult daughter spends their entire visit daydreaming of suicide. I'm here to tell you that dreams really do come true.

Sarah Vowell

#20. What is love when it's not for dopamine?

Saurabh Sharma

#21. It is true there are more important things than dinner, but it is difficult to keep those things in mind when you haven't had dinner.

Lemony Snicket

#22. It's true that journalism in reality is not the journalism that we learnt in the university. It is far from it.

Nilantha Ilangamuwa

#23. Only a true best friend can protect you from your immortal enemies.

Richelle Mead

#24. I had a dream about you last week. It was October 31, 2002 and we met at a Halloween party. You came dressed as yourself; I knew you've been hiding your true self all this time.

Rodney Jenkins

#25. Girls are always complaining that they can never meet a nice guy. Nice guys are everywhere. The problem isn't that there aren't any nice guys, the problem is that all of the nice guys are ugly.

Carroll Bryant

#26. With true love, you can move mountains, make unusual sacrifices, live a life of deprivations and still be happy.

Janvier Chouteu-Chando

#27. There must be something wrong with those people who think Audrey Hepburn doesn't perspire, hiccup or sneeze, because they know that's not true. I n fact, I hiccup more than most.

Audrey Hepburn

#28. True Devdas are Authors

Santosh Avvannavar

#29. True humor is fun - it does not put down, kid, or mock. It makes people feel wonderful, not separate, different, and cut off. True humor has beneath it the understanding that we are all in this together.

Hugh Prather

#30. Every day was filled with surprises. What a change from the network affiliate. Her new boss was an undead automaton from hell, true, but no job was perfect.

Daniel Suarez

#31. There is nothing to me but you. I know it's pathetic but, oh darling, it's true.

F.K. Preston

#32. You want me to invite him to dinner."
"I want you to invite him to dinner," she agreed.
"You know," he said, "most gay men don't have mothers who are this enthusiastic about their love lives."
"That's probably true," she said. "You're one of the lucky ones.

Matthew Haldeman-Time