His New Girlfriend Quotes

#1. Louie brought his new girlfriend over, and the nicest thing I can say about her is all her tattoos are spelled correctly.

Robert Harling

#2. Matheus felt like a nice Jewish boy trying to explain that his new girlfriend with the shaved head and the swastika tattooed across her stomach had a really sweet personality, you know, deep down.

Amy Fecteau

#3. If he mistreated and abused his last girlfriend, why would you want to be his new girlfriend?

Karen E. Quinones Miller

#4. Bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend sends you reeling in a search for new adjectives to describe stupidity and thoughtlessness?

Dov Davidoff

#5. They pine for the hip, frosty girlfriend they abandoned for a pleasant if unexciting marriage to her sunnier, less mentally present sister coast.

Sari Botton

#6. I know you think I'm crazy. Maybe that's because I am. About life, about this moment, about you.

Crystal Woods

#7. And now," Eric yelled into his mircophone, "we're going to sing a new song-one we just wrote. This one's for my girlfriend. We've been going out for three weeks, and, damn, our love is true. We're gonna be together forever, baby. This one's called 'Bang You Like a Drum.

Cassandra Clare

#8. Four years ago, he'd nearly married. But his girlfriend went to do theater in London and met a new man there. They'd stayed friends, till she sent photos of her newborn. "When you open the baby-photo email," Fogg said, "it's like your friends waving goodbye.

Tom Rachman

#9. I couldn't deal with my ex and his new she-devil girlfriend being all up in my face and him trying to be friendly and her trying to poison me with her existence...

Sarah Billington

#10. My girlfriend Siri is a food blogger, and we both love to entertain and eat. This is what happens when you're in your thirties: what was once a passion and real appetite for nightlife in New York City manifests itself into other things, like entertaining at home.

Carson Daly

#11. We must find you a new boyfriend, Wavey had kept telling her, but what if a girlfriend was what Fever needed? She felt as if she had opened the door to a room she had never noticed in a house where she'd lived all her life.

Philip Reeve

#12. I don't like when performers rag on their ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend in absentia. If they're not there, it just feels rude ... I'm never going to say anything personal about myself on stage. That's my new goal.

David Rees

#13. I peeled off La Brea and went home and instantly made a reservation to come back to New York. Essentially, I fired everybody that was in my life, my agent, my lawyer, my manager, my girlfriend and came back to New York.

Steven Shainberg

#14. I was seventeen all over again, falling into intrigue with the boy who was an exquisite contradiction.

Blakney Francis

#15. The bar door creaked open. "Jaysus, Ruairi. You've not gone and pissed off your new girlfriend before you've had a chance to shag her?

Zara Keane

#16. When new cooks come to work for me, they obviously make mistakes at the beginning or there's some messiness to the presentation. What I always say to them is: 'If you were cooking this for your mother or your girlfriend, would you make those mistakes?'

Joel Robuchon

#17. Once I was in a restaurant and I dropped my fork on the floor, and they gave me a new fork. So I pushed my girlfriend out of her chair.

Emo Philips

#18. Women in the workplace - we still have big strides to make. Girlfriend of mine just got a new job. First question the new boss asked her was if she could make a good cup of coffee ... Yeah, she stormed right out of that Starbucks.

Carol Leifer

#19. A dream my girlfriend and I have is to move to New York for a year or two because we just love the city. I would take some acting classes.

Daniel Bruhl

#20. I wanted a new label. One that said: girlfriend who will do anything to be tied, spanked, and fucked all over rather than adored.

Pepper Winters

#21. My girlfriend is named Lynn. She spells her name "Lynn". My old girlfriend's name is Lyn, too, but she spells it "Lyn". Every now and then I screw up, I call my new girlfriend by my old girlfriend's name, and she can tell because I don't say "n" as long.

Mitch Hedberg

#22. Wow, I didn't even hesitate to call her my girlfriend. That's a first.

Collette West

#23. I think that's my new band name," Shane said. "Asshat and Nerd Girlfriend. It's got a ring to it.

Rachel Caine

#24. Ex-girlfriends will find themselves in my new routine. Sometimes they like that, and sometimes they definitely do not. But comedians should come with a giant warning or disclaimer: IF YOU DATE ME, IT WILL BE IN MY ACT.

Dane Cook

#25. Programming languages are like girlfriends: The new one is better because *you* are better.

Derek Sivers

#26. Anyone who has ever scanned the bookshelves of a new girlfriend or boyfriend- or peeked inside his or her medicine cabinet- understands this implicitly; you can learn as much - or more - from one glance at a private space as you can from hours of exposure to a public face.

Malcolm Gladwell

#27. Does that new man in your life call his ex "a slut", "a whore", "a bitch", "psycho" , "crazy", "a nutter" etc etc. Chances are, whatever he's calling his ex right now, he'll be calling you when things don't go his way. Be warned.

Miya Yamanouchi

#28. You throw the kitchen sink at your early books. You put everything in there. It's like when you meet a new girlfriend or boyfriend, you tell them all your best stories. By the time you have been married for 10 years, they are crying, 'Shut up!'

Mark Billingham

#29. I left my parents' home when I was 22, I moved to New York with my ex-girlfriend. We did a film together with Raul Julia.

Demian Bichir

#30. Men lie only in two scenarios. One when
they have to hide their new girlfriend from the existing one(s) and second when they have to hide their income from the tax authorities.

Nitin Sharma

#31. My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut. I don't understand why she's crying. I'm the one who has to get a new girlfriend.

Anthony Jeselnik

#32. He could barely believe any of his new memories, but the idea that Isabelle Lightwood had been his girlfriend seemed more unbelievable than the fact that vampires were real and Simon had been one.

Cassandra Clare

#33. Leaving America is like losing twenty pounds and finding a new girlfriend.

Phil Ochs