Geek Humor Quotes

#1. Cutest geek i ever saw.

Steven Key Meyers

#2. I left the Shire,
got 7 outstanding N.E.W.T.'s
and became a Vampire;
Because Winter is Coming...

Various

#3. Wonderful craftsmanship, Simon decided with the expert eye of one who had played enough computer games to know art when he saw it.

Sorin Suciu

#4. The conversation had been so lacking in quality that it actually made Toddlers and Tiaras look like good entertainment by comparison.

Sorin Suciu

#5. Just move to the Internet, its great here. We get to live inside where the weather is always awesome.

John Green

#6. The coding was anachronistic, kind of like bokeh in a renaissance painting.

Sorin Suciu

#7. At the last moment, she remembered that her Master might be watching her and, knowing that good girls bend at the knees while bad girls bend at the waist, she picked up the cigar butt, as it were, in style.

Sorin Suciu

#8. Anyway, the point is that you guys really need to get out more.

Hitori Nakano

#9. It was all kind of fuzzy, as if his mind was doing its thinking in limericks.

Sorin Suciu

#10. The room continued to spin though she was standing still, but her ears were hot. She felt like she'd just slammed three doubles of tequila and needed a fistfight chaser.

Michael R. Underwood

#11. For most people, home we represented by four walls and a roof. Not for Noa. She preferred a motherboard to a mother, a keyboard to house keys. Nothing was more comforting than the hum of a spinning hard drive.

Michelle Gagnon

#12. There are many ways to define what it means to be a geek, but certainly one definition has to be, Someone who does something normal people do, only while wearing special pants and talking about it constantly.

BikeSnobNYC

#13. Dear Lynda Carter, Please be with me in my hour of need. Especially if I don't have to twirl around to get my powers.

Michael R. Underwood

#14. Wet towel under the door,' said Barry. 'It's what you do when you're smoking weed in a hotel and you don't want everyone calling security. You're always supposed to have a towel. I read about it in a guide for hitchhiking through the galaxy.

Christopher Moore

#15. As far as I could tell, the quickest way to a geeky guy's heart usually involved geometric shapes.

Angela N. Blount

#16. He was a good storyteller, but he told the kind of stories that made children run away from the village and adults look for a length of rope and some soap.

Sorin Suciu

#17. The more attractive and athletic the character depicted on the T-shirt, the less attractive and athletic the fan wearing it

Nev Fountain

#18. Geek e-mail sign-off: No trees were killed to send this message, but a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.

Neil DeGrasse Tyson

#19. Many things have been compared to a brick, mainly as a tribute to their intellect or to their aerodynamic characteristics.

Sorin Suciu

#20. I will take a serious approach to a subject usually treated lightly, which is a nerdy thing to do.

Benjamin Nugent

#21. On a scale ranging from very little to too much, Merkin could just about categorize the amount of personal data stored in Master Loo's computer as a shitload.

Sorin Suciu

#22. Wham. She glommed onto him like white plastic on a Stormtrooper, shamelessly pressing against his body, groping and kissing.

Angela Quarles

#23. If you want to get a meaningful result: create something very complex, and then simplify it.

Gerry Geek

#24. At least that left hope for him. Except "Beauty and the Geek" wasn't exactly the proper translation of the popular fairy tale.

Kelly Moran

#25. I know a flute player is technically called a "flautist," but something about it sounds a little sketchy, as does "pianist," so I will refrain.

Julie Halpern

#26. A project is like love; it has clear intentions at the beginning, but it can get complicated.

Gerry Geek

#27. I always have my own opinion before my boss says his.

Gerry Geek

#28. That Hellboy gun of Yours? It's not scientifically possible. It flaunts the laws of physics like a teenager on Rumspringa...

Michael R. Underwood

#29. Simon did not solve problems, he just shamed them into going away.

Sorin Suciu

#30. We can arrange class time with, um, minimum interaction."

That's perfect. The part where the interacting is all minimum-y," Montgomery said eagerly.

That was almost a Buffyism," Mica pointed out to Ellen.

Almost," Ellen admitted grudgingly.

Tracy Lynn

#31. I love crafting. Knitting, decoupage, scrapbooking, any "lady-ish" art form, I'm a fan. For about six months each. Then I shove all the supplies in a closet, alongside the skeletons of long dead New Year's resolutions, like saber fencing, playing the ukulele, and Japanese brush painting.

Felicia Day

#32. Borges was unapologetically smart and equally sentimental; a proto-geek, blind to distinctions between low pulp fiction and high criticism, experimental but never arch, and always playful, with a humor as dry as dust.

John Hodgman

#33. Execution strategies: do / buy / delegate / forget.

Gerry Geek

#34. Master Dung's study was silent. So silent, in fact, that one might have been able to hear a gnat passing air, if only an obligingly flatulent gnat had happened nearby.

Sorin Suciu

#35. So I'm delighted to open up a bit about these particular details, in honor of Valentine's Day (when every balding, chubby, and short actuary wants people - especially the babes out there - to know about his studly past"
From: "My Best Valentine's Day.Ever: a Short Story

Zack Love

#36. You know what they say,' Suz had texted. 'Once you go geek, you never go back.

Linda Morris

#37. He didn't know what was hotter, her Star Wars reference or the breathiness with which she spoke it.

Kelly Moran

#38. He knew for a fact that he was so hopelessly bad at seeing through camouflage that, if left alone in the forest, he might even attempt to make fire by rubbing two snakes together.

Sorin Suciu

#39. Alan shrugged. "I love the CBC, really, but being voted its president - " "Co-president," Sputnik corrected. " - is kind of like being declared King of Nerds." "Co-king," Sputnik asserted.

J.M. Richards

#40. And don't tell me there isn't one bit of difference between null and space, because that's exactly how much difference there is

Larry Wall

#41. Behind the cool mask of bravado, past the one-way mirror of his mind, underneath the rock-solid layers of self-control, in the Zen garden that was Master Sewer's soul, a high-pitched anxiety fart rustled through the still leaves. If farts could talk, this one would have said, Damn coppers!

Sorin Suciu

#42. Her assignment had been to write a simple Sumerian code for preserving a jar of pickled eggs. (To the programming-inclined reader, this is the magical equivalent of "HELLO WORLD.")

Sorin Suciu

#43. Love can be just like hot peppers, exciting on the way in and agonizing on the way out.

Sorin Suciu

#44. Ambition is a funny thing. It's like being a Trekkie in that if you admit to it, those around you are mock supportive of your confidence but are quick to call you a loser behind your back.
Or maybe that's the opposite of being a Trekkie.

Christy Leigh Stewart

#45. No one messes around with a nerd's computer and escapes unscathed.

E.A. Bucchianeri

#46. That was when I realised a sad but incontrovertible truth: I was a geek, and there was no getting around it. I could dress in Kate's clothes, but it didn't make me Kate.

Sharon Sant

#47. I still wouldn't be able to control myself around him, and I'm math geek enough to know that equation doesn't work out.

Robin Brande

#48. When I dreamed about becoming a fantasy adventurer, I was always a max-level character with epic gear. Look at me. I'm wearing vendor trash.

Noelle Alladania Meade

#49. A project goal like a joke. If you have to explain it, it is not good / fun.

Gerry Geek