Funny When I'm Alone Quotes

#1. When I was coming out of depression, I made one random video. It wasn't funny or anything, but just the idea that people I didn't know were watching it made me feel less alone than I'd felt in a long time.

Lilly Singh

#2. Sitting alone in the cafeteria would just scream I'm the new girl. Everyone stare at me while I eat.

Kristi Cook

#3. I can speak for every guy in this room here tonight. Guys, if you could blow yourselves, ladies, you'd be in this room alone right now. Watching an empty stage.

Bill Hicks

#4. My mortgage isn't getting any cheaper and I can't run that Ferrari on faith alone," Reverend Jones said. "Don't get me wrong, the Big Man upstairs does what he can but I've never once seen him filling up the tank of my car.

Mark Jackman

#5. Sometimes, when you are busy and children ask funny questions, you don't think so much. You just answer quickly so they will leave you alone. If you don't answer, they will just keep asking or they will go and do something very bad.

Jinat Rehana Begum

#6. [W]ithout humour you cannot run a sweetie-shop, let alone a nation.

John Buchan

#7. Let's leave it all alone. I'm stupidest when I try to be funny.

Al Swearengen

#8. It's enough to make me laugh. I close the door behind me and sit down again, considering this, and truly, I find it so funny that I laugh until I cry.
And when the tears come I think aah ...
So this is what it means to be alone.

John Boyne

#9. If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry.

O. Henry

#10. Gentle reminder, Smile please.

Vikrmn

#11. Ooh, big day in town for our park warden," I said. "They're even making you wear the uniform.
Hayley's mom will be happy. She thinks you look hot in it."
Dad turned as red as his hair.
Mom's laugh floated out from her studio. "Maya Delaney. Leave your father alone.

Kelley Armstrong

#12. And I'd be damned if I let the first photograph of me in ten years be taken on fucking Amtrak. I mean, the light alone.

Elizabeth Little

#13. It's funny how you can be all alone and in danger and then a minute later feel totally safe, like you've never been lonely before.

Susan Juby

#14. Leave me alone, or I will shoot," a woman's husky voice rang out through the broken window. "I'm not too afraid to blow your ass right back to whatever hell you come from.

Rose Wynters

#15. You know why horror-movie characters always get killed? Because they've never seen horror movies. They don't know how it works. Right? But we do. So no one go into the basement alone. No one go screaming off into the woods alone. No one has any sex.

Carrie Vaughn

#16. Valentine's Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don't have a special someone, you're alone.

Lewis Black

#17. You have to understand the tone of the movie, because if it's supposed to be funny, it can be funny violent like the Home Alone stuff, but you have to really understand the tone of what you're doing and make the action work for that and for the character.

David R. Ellis

#18. No," Shane said. "I'm not leaving you two here alone. We stick together."
"I'm still not kissing you," Michael said.
"Tease.

Rachel Caine

#19. If someone is trying to share a laugh and you personally do not find it funny, then just move on and leave it alone. Do not steal someone else's humor.

John Patrick Hickey

#20. Dinner was a lonely affair. Funny how you could be surrounded by your family, your blood, and yet feel totally alone. Even with the sun shining on the sparkling shores of English Bay and Josh at my side, I felt like I was invisible, and in a dark, dark place.

Karina Halle

#21. When I'm at home alone, I run up the stairs naked. It's quite funny.

Louis Tomlinson

#22. When I wake up I look like a madman, like something out of a horror movie! That's why I sleep alone. But the funny thing is that I'm very impeccable and clean before I go to bed. It's just like right before I'm going out.

Karl Lagerfeld

#23. Funny how men call it being free and women call it being alone, isn't it?

Gemma Burgess

#24. It is astonishing how little one feels alone when one loves.

John Bulwer

#25. I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.

Emo Philips

#26. When you're fat, the world is divided into two groups - people who bug you and people who leave you alone. The funny thing is, supporters and saboteurs exist in either camp.

Elizabeth Taylor

#27. Why do women always look so funny alone at night? she thought. I guess you're so used to seeing them with someone.

Shirley Jackson

#28. Buck is a mammoth, like a yeti. A huge perverted, hairy whore of a yeti. According to the sportscasters, Buck's an excellent hockey player. I'd agree, based on his yearly salary alone. No one gets much money for sucking, not even extremely skilled prostitutes.

Helena Hunting

#29. Leonard had let them go alone with the young boy who Ali was now convinced, was a couple falafel's short of a picnic

L.R. Currell

#30. Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably alone. Valentine's Day is often times a, well, it's a manufactured day that really doesn't mean anything.

Jon Stewart

#31. I said alone!"
He nodded in agreement. "Aye, you usually say that, and I still stay. It's our way.

Kresley Cole

#32. Na Arean sat alone in space as a cloud that floats in nothingness. He slept not, for there was no sleep; he hungered not, for as yet there was no hunger. So he remained for a great while, until a thought came to his mind. He said to himself, I will make a thing.

Carl Sagan

#33. On quiet nights, when I'm alone, I like to run our wedding video backwards, just to watch myself walk out of the church a free man.

Jim Davidson

#34. A man in the crowd asks: Hey Rodney, how'd you get started? Rodney: I was 12 years old, alone in my room, and I got started!

Rodney Dangerfield

#35. Once I got away from him, I was smart enough to stay away from him. To hunt that one is as wise as to go hunting a porcupine.

I cannot leave this alone, Nighteyes.

I understand. I am the same about porcupines.

Robin Hobb

#36. Alexander? Fine. I'll leave you alone so you can call Lover Boy back." "Stop calling him that." Once he was gone, she punched her pillow a few times. It was funny that Sam thought she could have any man she wanted. If she were just looking for guys who wanted to hang out

CrushStar Romance

#37. The funny thing about me is I'm kind of schizophrenic, because after four or five nights in a row of going out to parties, I just have to be alone. I hate people and feel like they're keeping me from what I really want to do, like write a fabulous novel, which I probably never will.

Bob Colacello

#38. Blake hung an arm on my shoulders. "Alone at last."
"I'm right here," Logan said.
"Maybe you shouldn't be.

A&E Kirk

#39. Just leave me alone, I want to be alone, she said when Jack tried to open the car door. She hit the lock, and wound the window up. Since the roof was down, it was a fairly pointless exercise.

Sarah Mayberry

#40. It's like they were worried that I'd be alone all day brooding and painting my cabin black or something - sheesh.

Melissa Walker

#41. At the time, my 6-year-old kept thinking my character's name was "Sam Alone," which is kind of brilliant. The funny came out of Sam's sad core: the alcoholic, the sex addict, the person who thinks he's God's gift.

Ted Danson

#42. It was funny how I could feel all alone and under surveillance at the same time.

Cory Doctorow

#43. I don't know. I think it's funny! I think it's funny! I go, what? It's so absurd. I'm alone.

Danny DeVito

#44. Cooking without wine is like sex alone. You may get the job done, but you don't really care once it's over.

Andrew Grey