Funny Pull Up Quotes

#1. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one.

Tim Vine

#2. If you're driving your car and someone winds the window down and gives you the finger and calls you an asshole, instead of giving him the finger back and calling him an asshole back, you just pull a funny face, and he doesn't know how to react to that, because you're using different rules.

Steve Coogan

#3. Zivojinovic seems to be able to pull the big bullet out of the top drawer

Mike Ingham

#4. I pull back. "I'm going to have to change my computer password."
"Oh yeah? To what?"
"I-love-Josh."
"4 eva, he replies."
"You cracked my password?

Sally Thorne

#5. It's funny because I'm so used to acting in English that any time I have these moments where I have to speak Russian, it definitely takes a different part of my brain to pull it off, but it's always nice and fun.

Ksenia Solo

#6. I miss being able to wake up when I want and go on stage when I want and pull down my pants when I want.

Mark Wahlberg

#7. I don't pull out because ... it's not my problem.

Jim Norton

#8. I'm not scared any more,' said Midge. 'Thank you, Kevin. Sometimes you can be very kind.'
'Yes,' said Kevin. 'And if you tell that to any of the other trolls I will pull off your nose and feed it to a bear.

Doug MacLeod

#9. Pull the hair on my head the wrong way, and I would be on my knees begging for mercy. I have very sensitive follicles.

Benedict Cumberbatch

#10. If you think something's funny, go with that. Most comedians pull jokes from a place of honesty.

Olivia Munn

#11. Some of the pictures I must say every now and then I just think are going to be funny. When it gets that much, you might as well just pull out all the stops and make it more of a burlesque.

Martin Mull

#12. One time a guy handed me a picture. He said, 'Here's a picture of me when I was younger.' Every picture is of you when you were younger. 'Here's a picture of me when I'm older.' 'You son of bit, how'd you pull that off Let me see that camera. What's it look like'

Mitch Hedberg

#13. People deal with models like they are children. They think they can pull one over on you. It's actually funny. I'm always like, I'm about to pull something on you, and you're so focused on thinking I'm dumb, you're not even going to know.

Kate Upton

#14. Although it seems shocking to say so, grief is a funny thing. On the one hand, you're numb, yet on the other, something inside is trying desperately to claw its way back to normal: to pull a funny face, to leap out like a jack-in-the-box, to say Smile, damn you, smile!

Alan Bradley

#15. At one point you think, well, it's funny, I could just be a starving actor. So if somebody were to pull the plug, there'd be no room for complaint.

Michael Fassbender

#16. How come everybody cheers when chicks flash their T&A, but when I pull out my D&Bs, i'm a registered sex offender.

Daniel Tosh

#17. Twitter is the place where I try to be more funny. And then I use Instagram just as my diary. I pull some jokes on there, but I think people have a better sense of humor on Twitter.

Gigi Hadid

#18. I'm the master of distractions. A couple of hand gestures and BAM! I'll pull the underwear clean off your butt.

Si Robertson

#19. I used to wonder why I had hair on my legs, but now I know it's for my toddler sons and daughters to pull themselves up off the ground with as I scream in pain.

Jim Gaffigan

#20. I pull out my e-reader and get back to my fictional boyfriend. Lord knows he won't cheat on me.

M.D. Saperstein

#21. I've never written a quote I feel would be suitable for my gravestone. Wouldn't it be ironic if it were this one? Oh, and could you pull a few weeds while you're here?

Ryan Lilly

#22. I am always happy, because whenever I am sad I just know that somewhere, somehow, there is a person who is PUSHING a door that says PULL.

Auliq Ice

#23. I'll ring for Mrs. Mullet, Feely said, reaching for a velvet pull that hung near the mantelpiece, and which probably hadn't been used since George the Third was foaming at the mouth.

Alan Bradley

#24. We are racing down Main Street. Arthur is right on the tail of a blck sedan with tinted windows that won't pull over. He slams the horn.
"Arthur," I say.
The car doesn't yield.
"Arthur," I say.
He hits the horn again, still close on the car's bummper.
"Arthur, our turn was back there.

Peter Canning

#25. So if you see a star and he needs a little money So come on baby give it to him this isn't funny! Just reach into your pocket, and pull out some change, Come on baby help a star it's not strange!

Brad Sherwood

#26. She can go with us to the lab and keep Myrnin pinned down while we pull the plug, if he's not ... you know, better."
"Define BETTER with that guy."
"Not all fangs and raaaaar.

Rachel Caine

#27. When a female cop pull you over for speeding, to get out of the ticket, talk nice to her, try to flirt or start crying, i bet she will save the ticket for you.

Werley Nortreus

#28. This Saturday? As in tomorrow Saturday? We have to give lectures in twelve hours? We're not prepared for that! I can't just pull a cyber-crimes lecture out of my ass!" He could, but it was the principle of the thing.

Abigail Roux

#29. I pull my cigarette from my mouth and take a look around, meeting the eyes of my friends carefully,so they'll know how serious I am right now. First person to laugh gets punched.I'm in love.

C.M. Stunich

#30. Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Jeff Valdez

#31. If You're Gonna Ride My Ass, At Least Pull My Hair!

S.C. Stephens

#32. It's funny how, having nice thoughts in your head, it is so pleasant to pull them all out and think them all over again.

Maureen Daly

#33. Ladies and Gentlemen, take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice.

Diane Arbus

#34. I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.

Bo Burnham

#35. It's funny because 'West Wing' is similar to 'Game of Thrones' in some ways, as it was very hard to pull off back then.

Alex Graves

#36. And I was all, "Don't be gross, you crustacious fuck. You pull that thing out and I'll pepper-spray you until you fry." (You have to be stern with weenie waggers
I've been exposed to on the bus over seventeen times, so I know.)

Christopher Moore

#37. That's the funny thing about guns; even untrained hands can feel powerful using them. But take that gun away and you're left with nothing but a coward whose only skill is how to blindly pull a trigger.

Jennifer Wilson

#38. I wish there were jokes in the cat world," Buddy sighed. "Want to try to one? Let's think of a prank we can pull on the boys.

Gretchen Preston

#39. The walls of her stall were covered with graffiti. If it had been funny ("Pull here for MFA Degree" right below the toilet paper dispenser) she would've stayed longer, but it was mostly weird random names and dates.

Grady Hendrix

#40. I pride myself on never using a cuss word on stage. Ever. I headline in Las Vegas every year, and this summer I am performing on an Alaskan cruise. Not too many comedians can pull that off. Funny thing is, my show doesn't change for Vegas.

Henry Cho

#41. I thought I was funny as a kid. I used to play tricks on my brothers - I'd tie a two-shilling piece to a bit of cotton, then pull it away as they went to grab it.

Jo Brand

#42. I've always tried to come up with funny dancing since I was young, to attract girls' attention for one thing. It's got to be funny. I can't pull it off with serious dances. That's not me.

Psy

#43. There's magic all around us: Our smartphones are magical, 3-D printers are magical. So I feel that as a magician, if I can pull off something that seems real and convincing enough that I can explain why it's happening and have people believe it, it really is fascinating. And funny.

Michael Carbonaro

#44. Mmmm ... the comedy that matters is the comedy you pull out of thin air. It's a bit like when something funny has happened and you try to explain it to someone else and end up saying, 'You had to be there.'

Jack Dee