Funny Not Inappropriate Quotes

#1. I know by the way the punch landed, he wouldn't get up.

Sergio Martinez

#2. Twitter has the sustained ability to not get all touchy when I forget to "favorite" and thus had me at the first entirely inappropriate tweet flung my way.

Jennifer Harrison

#3. Does Hallmark make a "Sorry I tried to drink your blood and touched you in a vaguely inappropriate manner" card? I settled for "How much do you remember?

Molly Harper

#4. We could talk, act, and dress funny. We were excused for socially inappropriate behavior: 'Oh, he's a programmer'. It was all because we knew this technology stuff that other people found completely mystifying.

Kent Beck

#5. I think nudity is funny, especially when it's inappropriate.

Chelsea Handler

#6. There's always a source for humor [in politics]. If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny. So it sort of selects itself. It has to. And plus, often something that wouldn't be funny at the time is okay to make jokes about later.

Calvin Trillin

#7. If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny.

Calvin Trillin

#8. I will do comedy until the day I die: inappropriate comedy, funny comedy, gender-bending, twisting comedy, whatever comedy is out there.

Sandra Bullock

#9. One thing I would say is real cops have real gallows senses of humor and make incredibly funny and inappropriate jokes in the presence of dead people all the time.

Daniel J. Goor

#10. Woolsey bites on occasion

Cassandra Clare

#11. You can't make Christ funny. He's self-aware, he's too flexible within the situation. It's rigidity, it's when the ego takes over and the behavior becomes inappropriate that it becomes funny.

John Cleese

#12. There is no need for that language, or for the yelling, I'm on the phone with you, not a thousand miles away. I can hear you perfectly."
He was such a dickhead

L.A. Casey

#13. Fisting is 300 bucks

Van Darkholme

#14. If every rich person gave 50 percent of their wealth to charity, I would not say they should pay more taxes.

George Soros

#15. Shopping for shoes has nothing to do with need, and everything to do with lust. Do you know how many pairs I own?"
"No."
"Neither do I!

Nora Roberts

#16. While prudence will endeavor to avoid this issue of war, bravery will prepare to meet it.

Thomas Jefferson

#17. You had a talk? You think talk got us out of Egypt or Entebbe? Uh-uh. Plague and Uzis. Talk gets you a good place in line for a shower that isn't a shower.

Jonathan Safran Foer

#18. Being a humorist is not a voluntary thing. You can tell this because in a situation where saying a funny thing will cause a lot of trouble, a humorist will still say the funny thing. No matter how inappropriate.

P. J. O'Rourke