Funny None Of My Business Quotes

#1. A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost. She should go far. The sooner she starts, the better. The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of its behind.

Joseph Stilwell

#2. You know, the funny thing about Lorne and that show is that, you can go over one million things, but in a business of bean counters, he still likes to laugh at small things and creates a show around it.

Colin Quinn

#3. It's funny; it's a real balancing act. In TV, everybody's talking about authenticity. In order to make 'Dirty Jobs' authentic, I really can't be overly informed. The minute I am, I become a host ... It's a very tricky business paying a tribute to work, because TV is very bad at it.

Mike Rowe

#4. The business of lying is transacted in the abode of the gullible.

Michael Bassey Johnson

#5. You worked for Harry King, they said, because a broken leg was bad for business, and Harry King was all about business.

Terry Pratchett

#6. The higher you rise in the business ladder, the smaller your balls become.

Santosh Kalwar

#7. Dana was what Steve called a "silent partner" in the Brixton Brothers Detective Agency. Being a silent partner meant that Dana didn't carry a business card, that his name didn't appear on the company letterhead, and he wanted nothing to do with the Brixton Brothers Detective Agency.

Mac Barnett

#8. I don't want any funny business, and above all I don't want to be dragged into other people's funny business. If it's to be my head on the block, I want to know that it's doing there, and not that it's some stupid things that other people have done.

Hans Fallada

#9. France in August when you can travel through the entire country without encountering a single pesky Frenchman or being bothered with anything that's open for business.

P. J. O'Rourke

#10. Posting dramatic charts or funny pictures is good and giving people smart reasons to believe what they already think is great.

Derek Thompson

#11. Don't make being a girl or a victim part of your stand-up act. If you encounter sexism in the business, don't bring it on stage; it's not funny.

Jen Kirkman

#12. Alek coughed politely, "If I promise to avoid funny business, could you perhaps remove this knife from my throat?

Scott Westerfeld

#13. I'll tell ya, I don't get no respect ... The other day, I got back from a business trip. I got in a cab and said to the driver, "Hey! Take me to where the action is!" So ya know where he took me? He took me to my house!

Rodney Dangerfield

#14. I love making things, like software, and films, and laughter. And working with Gus Silber, to make the Funny Business book, has been a fantastic journey.

Ronnie Apteker

#15. You figure they cheat at the ballpark, they'll cheat on the golf course, they'll cheat in business, and anything else in life. Players may laugh about it and say it's funny, but right down in their heart, they don't think it's funny at all, and they have no respect for a person who cheats.

Bob Feller

#16. It's to paint directly on the canvas without any funny business, as it were, and I use almost pure turpentine to start with, adding oil as I go along until the medium becomes pure oil. I use as little oil as I can possibly help, and that's my method.

Edward Hopper

#17. I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business.

Wanda Sykes

#18. And some people say Jesus wasn't Jewish. Of COURSE he was Jewish! 30 years old, single, lives with his parents, come on! He works in his father's business, his mom thought he was God's gift, he's Jewish! Give it up!

Robin Williams

#19. I would say I know nothing about the music business, in a nice sort of way. I totally forgot I was in that music video. That's so funny.

Zooey Deschanel

#20. I'm sitting in the bus station, minding my own business, reading 'Ta-Da!' magazine; a magazine by and for gay magicians, but that's a different story.

Dave Attell

#21. Ronald Reagan came from show business. His idea of how the government should help the homeless was like your agent. "We'll try to get you work. But don't bug us about it."

Bill Maher

#22. Business, like life, is funny. We all go through difficult times, and we all have to face curve balls and challenges, each and every week. And we need to laugh when things are funny.

Ronnie Apteker

#23. I'd even had business cards made up reading, ABIGAIL COOPER, P.I. with teeny-weeny little letters underneath in parentheses spelling out PSYCHIC INTUITIVE. Most people think I'm trying to be clever. The truth is, I'm a chickenshit.

Victoria Laurie

#24. A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

Mark Twain

#25. No funny business. I'll scream and dead or not it will hurt your ears

Penelope Fletcher

#26. I got an 'A' in Business Marketing in college!- as if that means a goddamn thing in the real world ...

Whitney Gracia Williams

#27. He's always asking: 'Is that new? I haven't seen that before.' It's like, Why don't you mind your own business? Solve world hunger. Get out of my closet.

Michelle Obama

#28. I swallowed my own smile. I shouldn't be thinking this was fun at all; it was serious business. But I couldn't help it, if you couldn't look at the world when it fell apart around you and see the funny shit, you would end up hating everyone and everything.

Shannon Mayer

#29. Being effective at social media, whether for business or personal use, means capturing people who have short attention spans. They're only a click away from a picture of a funny cat, so you have to make your thing more compelling than that cat. And that can be a high bar.

Alexis Ohanian

#30. I wanted to be in show business, and I was funny.

Tom Smothers