Funny Judge Sayings

#1. Girl who sit on Judge's lap get honorable discharge.

Confucius

#2. The world had taken a deep breath and was having doubts about continuing to revolve.

Maya Angelou

#3. I aspire to be that, to be a voice of reason one day.

Drew Barrymore

#4. In this city, we've got a saying: once is coincidence, twice is a booking offense!

-Judge Dredd

John Wagner

#5. I'm never growing up, I'll just sit in the corner of time and sip my juice box petulantly and judge your terrible Hamlet adaptations.

Rhiannon McGavin

#6. I'm not one to sit here and judge here. But I think it's funny that the people that condemn the adult industry the most are the ones consuming the product the most.

Sasha Grey

#7. I think Shakespeare is like a dialect. If I heard a broad Scots accent, I'd probably struggle at first but then I'd start to look for words I recognise and I'd get the gist. I think Shakespeare is like that.

Ralph Fiennes

#8. A man up in front of a judge says "I don't recognise this court." "Why not?" "It's been redecorated since the last time I was here."

Frank Carson

#9. I judge how much a man cares for a woman by the space he allots her under a jointly shared umbrella.

Jimmy Cannon

#10. I've always been a big fan of beauty. Sure, you can't judge a book by its cover but who wants to have sex with a book?

Stephen Colbert

#11. It's so funny you judge me arrogant after I succeeded.
You didn't help me at all when I was so poor and needy.

Toba Beta

#12. But then again, I shouldn't judge. That is, after all, my pet peeve.

Katie McGarry

#13. Sometimes laughing isn't the best judge of what's funny, 'cause I think there's a lot of things that are really funny that don't make you laugh, that don't make you physically, audibly make a noise, but is something that is much more powerful than that.

Tim Heidecker

#14. When you work for other people you'll find ... that they do know what's best for them, and for the company. And you should listen to them and be respectful, but they don't know what's best for you.

Mike Judge

#15. High school is life's way of giving you a record low to judge the rest of your life by. I know this because no matter how shitty it got, I could always look back and say, "At least I don't have my arm stuck up a cow's vagina." In fact, that's kind of become my life's motto.

Jenny Lawson

#16. If you become very self-conscious about what you are doing, you kill. You kill the character. Then it doesn't work. You have to come from a sincere place. And you don't think too much. I don't go to the hotel and I start thinking what am I going to say tomorrow and start writing things down.

Antonio Banderas

#17. I think the scores for Olympic gymnastics are affected by what countries the judge and the gymnast are from. That's wrong. That type of political pandering isn't meant for gymnastic Olympic events. It's meant for the Supreme Court.

Craig Ferguson

#18. It's funny how we judge others and don't realize the extent of our disdain until they are no longer there, until they are taken from us. They're taken from us because they've never been ours ...

Carlos Ruiz Zafon

#19. Stealing, you'll go far in life. Actually, there is something funny about getting away with it.

Mike Judge

#20. Funny how so many rookies out there still judge condition of the US economy on the rigged "stock market". I frankly find it hilarious.

Ziad K. Abdelnour

#21. Watch the turtle. He only moves forward by sticking his neck out.

Louis V. Gerstner Jr.

#22. A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.

H.L. Mencken