Funny I Need You Like Quotes

#1. The story' Sanders would say "the whole tone, man, you're wrecking it."
Tone?'
The sound. You need to get a consitent sound, like slow or fast, funny or sad. All these disgressions, they just screw up your story's sound. Stick to what happened.

Tim O'Brien

#2. I feel things can always be funny, but that's probably because I have some kind of leftover childhood need to make people laugh. For somebody like me, that's the thing you excel at.

Jesse Eisenberg

#3. Why, god, why? Why have you deserted me in my moment of need? I'm going to die. I'm going to internally combust never knowing what if feels like to be inside of my girlfriend.
Life is so unfair.

Cheryl McIntyre

#4. Dad!" he shouted, loud enough to make my ears ring. "Dad! You need to get down here!" (Derek)
Chloe held open the door and whispered to me, "I could say he's not always like this, but I'd be lying.

Kelley Armstrong

#5. You know what's funny? I don't ever feel the need to escape. I have a strong marriage. I like my life. You hear about these guys having midlife crises - I don't see that happening to me.

Harry Connick Jr.

#6. His deepest need was that people should like him. An admirable trait that; in a spaniel. Or a whore.

Michael Dobbs

#7. The funny thing is, I really feel it if I don't run. I start getting sluggish, and I feel like I need to do it. That's how I know that the workouts are working - I miss them if I don't have them.

Kai Ryssdal

#8. Like the NRA says, it's better to have a machine gun and not need it than to need a machine gun and not have it.

John Sandford

#9. My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.

Mitch Hedberg

#10. I turned down 'Some Like It Hot.' See how smart I am? I felt I couldn't bring anything funny to it. The outfit was funny. I don't need to compete with the wardrobe.

Jerry Lewis

#11. He raised his hand in a peaceful gesture. "You need to relax a bit, dove. Like Mouse over there. You trust me, don't you, Mouse?"
"Nope!"
"Ahhh, I'm hurt. Nobody likes me.

Ilona Andrews

#12. But, yes, I'm hungry." "Well, there's an Olive Garden next door." My face twisted up. "An olive garden? Like... we go and pick olives? I mean, I'm going to need more sustenance than that. What's so funny?

Jessica Gadziala

#13. She grinned, looking for all the world like a sticky-mouthed little girl who had just convinced her gullible mother that she really did drop the first piece of candy into the storm drain and would need another.

Wendy Corsi Staub

#14. We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

Dennis Miller

#15. Some of my best friends are tattooed from head to toe. Some would never think of it. Some are rocking a mullet and a moustache and others are clean cut. It's funny that you don't need to speak the same language or look like someone to fit in.

Travis Pastrana

#16. It's funny, I think after you are a star like Sting and you no longer think you need any guidance or aid - it would be great to see those stars work with other songwriters.

Meshell Ndegeocello

#17. She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.

George Burns

#18. Every time I walk by a spy shop, I think that I need to put some surveillance on somebody. Rick's been acting fishy! I need to buy a safe that looks like a Spray 'N Wash can. "Hey, Mitch, can I use the Spray 'N Wash?" "Yeah, if you want to spray your shirt with documents!"

Mitch Hedberg

#19. There was a product on late night TV that you could attach to your garden hose - "You can water your hard-to-reach plants with this." Who would make their plants hard to reach? That seems so very mean. I know you need water, but I'm going to make you hard to reach. "Think like a cactus!"

Mitch Hedberg

#20. A football team is like a piano. You need eight men to carry it and three who can play the damn thing.

Bill Shankly

#21. Well, I am not always joking, sometimes I am serious. But some people always expect you to be funny. If you were like you are on stage, you would be obnoxious. With the jokes and the putdowns, I would need to take a break ... juggle something.

Dom Irrera

#22. I like Kinko's, because they're open 24 hours. If it's 5 am and I decide I need two of something, I'm covered! Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, and then I think, "Oh, yeah. Kinko's. No problem. That will not remain singular."

Mitch Hedberg

#23. Business, like life, is funny. We all go through difficult times, and we all have to face curve balls and challenges, each and every week. And we need to laugh when things are funny.

Ronnie Apteker

#24. Nothing makes you think you might need years of therapy like saying the word breasts in front of your mother.

Katie McGarry

#25. People like you are the reason People like me need medication.

Cheyenne McCray

#26. I feel like I'm going to die,' he says.
'Could we talk for a few minutes before you die?'
'Only if you do it quietly.'
'I met this girl last night. I need your advice.'
'Come back later.'
'No. You might be dead.

Doug MacLeod

#27. I used to have Santa and the whole coal thing, but between Wade and their father, the little shits get whatever they want. They no longer feel like they need the fat bastard!

Ethan Day

#28. Let's be honest, this is a consumer based economy in America. That's all we manufacture here is need and appetite. We are the world's mouth. They make things in other countries, and they're like, 'Send it to America; they'll eat it.'

Marc Maron

#29. Really, if that's the case, you need to stop letting your mother dress you funny. It's hard to take anyone serious as a killer when he looks like an investment banker. The only part of me that's nervous is my checkbook. (Kat)

Sherrilyn Kenyon

#30. Don't do it gurl," he said with a wink. "You need to pretend like that phone is your best friend's husband's dick now drop it.

Ethan Day

#31. Would I laugh?"
"Matter of fact, you would," says Zeb. "Heart like shale. What you need is a good fracking.

Margaret Atwood

#32. She's cute, I thought, but you don't need to like a girl who treats you like you're ten: You've already got a mom.

John Green

#33. It was funny to just take a backseat and be like, 'Wow, I might be in this crazy place, but maybe I don't need to understand everything, maybe I don't need to be someone else.'

Zach Condon

#34. Funny. Slave masters thought they were making a difference in black people's lives too. Saving them from their "wild African ways." Same shit, different century. I wish people like them would stop thinking that people like me need saving. One-Fifteen

Angie Thomas

#35. I would like to do a lot more of it, I feel comfortable with it and basically it's all in the writing. I'm not a personality type actor, I need a good script in order to be funny, but it's definitely something that I like doing.

Ray Liotta

#36. Fine, I'll touch you, briefly, but only because you sound like you need the praise that your body's hot, and I'm totally selfless like that.

Kyle Adams

#37. Even in the very beginning when she would bump into George Valentine and people would start taking pictures of her, she never thought, 'I'm with George Valentine. I need to get a picture with him.' She's like 'oh that's funny. Everyone's taking pictures!'

Berenice Bejo

#38. You need to be funny in a way that people feel like you're trying to make a deeper connection. So that's what I try to do.

Drew Magary

#39. Wait, I really do need your help with this." He turned his computer monitor toward her and pointed. "Is this funny? It's a Snoopy/Snoop Dogg thing, and every time Charlie Brown tries to feed him, he's like, 'Thanks, Chizzuck.' ...

Rainbow Rowell