I Need You More Than Funny Quotes

#1. People like you are the reason People like me need medication.

Cheyenne McCray

#2. Real sex is as much about reciprocity as it is exploration and if you need a reason to resent a man later on, just consider the guy who doesn't believe in cunnilingus ...

Roberto Hogue

#3. Business, like life, is funny. We all go through difficult times, and we all have to face curve balls and challenges, each and every week. And we need to laugh when things are funny.

Ronnie Apteker

#4. At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying whole wide world.

P. J. O'Rourke

#5. The best time to make friends is
before you need them.

Ethel Barrymore

#6. Nothing makes you think you might need years of therapy like saying the word breasts in front of your mother.

Katie McGarry

#7. I've got everything I need right here." That sentimental thought met a room full of cheesy and sarcastic "aw's" and an empty water bottle thrown at my head. No, stop guys, really. You're embarrassing me.

Rachel Higginson

#8. The funny and the most beautiful thing about LOVE is..
you don't need any one else to fall in love with,, you can love yourself, the ambiance
around you, the things which belong to you, and even those which don't..

Sanhita Baruah

#9. Comedy is the only profession where love from a stranger is better than love from a family member. You need to perform for strangers to see if you're really funny. If they laugh and cheer, it's the greatest thing in the world.

Jay Leno

#10. I like Kinko's, because they're open 24 hours. If it's 5 am and I decide I need two of something, I'm covered! Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, and then I think, "Oh, yeah. Kinko's. No problem. That will not remain singular."

Mitch Hedberg

#11. Oh, you need Alan to betray Nick and then you'll steal Nick's powers and kill them both," said Mae. "Great idea. Hey, can i come? I'll bring a picnic lunch if you promise not to let blood get on the sandwiches.

Sarah Rees Brennan

#12. That is not all I need. I need dogs. A house filled with dogs and a smart, funny, kind, loving girlfriend or wife.

Moby

#13. Religions all have the same timeline ... First the people feel the need to worship something. The sun or the giant corn of ear. That's the first thing. Then the guys say okay, now that we've got the giant corn thing going, how can we use it to oppress women?

Carol Anshaw

#14. I started finding humor in everything. I used to watch a lot of TV, and I finally figured I didn't need to watch TV to find funny stuff. I just watch the commercials. I mean, the commercials just blew my mind.

Andy Andrews

#15. You know, I said I have this problem that I need to more carefully read Akron's text because it's too much, too much fantasy, and so I am busy with other stuff - it's funny, it's nice to hear that someone is studying that carefully and now I know a little bit more about that.

H.R. Giger

#16. Good gravy on biscuits, girlfriend, you are in the middle of more messes than a platter of scrambled eggs. What's going on? Are the planets aligned funny? Or is that unaligned? Shoot, I have no idea. But I need to know what's going on. You and I will be going out for coffee in about thirty seconds.

Paige Shelton

#17. I think it's love.'
'Funny.'
'I'm serious.'
'And your support for this is ... ?'
'A feeling.'
'You need more than that.

Doug Dorst

#18. You don't ever ask a barber whether you need a haircut.

Warren Buffett

#19. The turkey that President Obama will pardon this Thanksgiving is from California. The turkey said, I don't need a pardon. I need a job.'

Conan O'Brien

#20. It was funny how people who had nothing would offer everything to those in need, and people who had comfort scarcely offered it to people who needed it.

Belle Aurora

#21. Brooke?" he finally found the sense to ask. "What are you doing here?"
"I need a gun."
This was not how his dream was supposed to go.

Shannon K. Butcher

#22. I think I let go of the need for approval, ... It certainly feels good when you get it, but I used to be more desperate for it. Once I felt better inside about myself ... I could do everything based on how I want to do things.

Ellen DeGeneres

#23. I'd rather be the bloke laughing at other people. I don't need to make people laugh. I surround myself with funny people. I laugh all the time.

Jennifer Garner

#24. I've purged myself of worldly goods; half my stuff is either being sold or going to charity. I need to go shopping.

Christy Leigh Stewart

#25. Would I laugh?"
"Matter of fact, you would," says Zeb. "Heart like shale. What you need is a good fracking.

Margaret Atwood

#26. Now, can I help you with something? I'm new, but I'll do my best to figure out how to get what you need."
...
"That's good to hear, Abby, since I need your breasts for a few minutes.

Cherise Sinclair

#27. Sam gave Captain Suicide a droll stare. How did you die again? Oh wait, I know this. 'I can take 'em. I don't need to wait for reinforcements. I can do it myself.' How'd that work out for you again?

Sherrilyn Kenyon

#28. I'm considering whether or not to believe you. I need to run an algorithm on this."
"That's not funny."
"You might be trying to trick me into sleeping with you.

Jessica Park

#29. The scotch egg is such a Scottish food. It's as though a great Scottish chef said: I need a tasty snack. Let's take an egg ... and wrap it in meat!! Makes it a bit harder.

Bill Bailey

#30. The way I look at life, and the way I look at the reality of Parkinson's, is that sometimes it's frustrating and sometimes it's funny. I need to look at it that way, and I think other people will look at it that way.

Michael J. Fox

#31. I've never directed before, so I need to make sure that people know that I can. The movie that I've written, 'The Sophisticates,' is a ... small ensemble comedy and I hope it's charming and funny.

Lena Headey

#32. The light is a funny thing, Grant. We think it shows us what we need to see, but in reality, it blinds us. That's why I brought you here. I wanted you to see me.

Adrienne Wilder

#33. I only lie for sex or money or to practice for when I need to lie for sex or money.

Stephen Schneider

#34. Count the steps
and keep the number.
Pick the white pebbles
and the funny strange leaves.
Mark the curves
and cliffs around
for you may need
to come home again.

Tenzin Tsundue