Funny Homeless Sayings

#1. I started my own foundation. If you aren't familiar with it, it's called 'Febreezing the homeless.' Who would you rather give money to: a man that smells 4like liquiid garbage, or ocean breeze?

Daniel Tosh

#2. Where do the homeless have 90 per cent of their accidents?

Bob Monkhouse

#3. Go see, ask why, show respect.

Fujio Cho

#4. Then a homeless man with a dog approached us and put his hand out. This happens to be something that I have a real problem with: homeless people with pets who approach you for food when they have a perfectly delicious dog standing right there?

Chelsea Handler

#5. Many science fiction writers are literary autodidacts who focus on the genre primarily as a literature of ideas rather than as a pure art form or a tool for the introspective examination of the human condition. I'm not entirely at ease with that self-description.

Charles Stross

#6. The voices blend and fuse in clouded silence: silence that is infinite of space: and swiftly, silently the sound is wafted over regions of cycles of cycles of generations that have lived.

James Joyce

#7. I know what party you're talking about. I might have to swing through. Especially if you're going to be there in a costume." He winked and leaned back in his seat.
"I'm going as a homeless person."
"Sexy.

Chanelle Gray

#8. If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no.

Bo Burnham

#9. No matter how much you give a homeless person for tea ... you never get that tea.

Jimmy Carr

#10. If a homeless person has a funny sign, he hasn't been homeless for that long. A real homeless person is too hungry to be funny.

Chris Rock

#11. There are certain things which are lost by being kept and saved by being used. Any individual talent is like that. If it is used, it will develop into something still greater. If someone refuses to use it, in the end that talent will be lost. Supremely so, life is like that.

William Barclay

#12. For many of us, Christmas lunch is the most special meal of the year - and I certainly want nothing but the very best for this celebration.

Sheherazade Goldsmith

#13. I'll tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless!

Rodney Dangerfield

#14. Poverty. Racism. Isn't it strange, only the homeless are begging for change?

Bo Burnham

#15. Women who seek advice from single women about getting a man is like asking a homeless man how to be rich.

Habeeb Akande

#16. It's so bad being homeless in winter. They should go somewhere warm like the Caribbean where they can eat fresh fish all day.

Lady Victoria Hervey

#17. In most of the stuff that I've done over the years as a sideman, I wasn't really a session musician, because to me, a session musician is a guy who makes his living in the studio, and I never really did that.

David Sanborn

#18. What I like about cities is that everything is king size, the beauty and the ugliness.

Joseph Brodsky

#19. Oh- and grab the plastic bag over by my suitcase."
I slug down the last of the coffee and get up. The bag contains panty hose. I put them on her desk.
"They're for you."
"You want me to look homeless, desperate, but also kind of fabulous?

Holly Black

#20. I'm homeless, in a funny way. My culture I think is completely rooted in German 19th century music I suppose.

Hans Zimmer

#21. Ronald Reagan came from show business. His idea of how the government should help the homeless was like your agent. "We'll try to get you work. But don't bug us about it."

Bill Maher

#22. I did a gig in the U.S. once for the homeless. I said 'It's nice to see so many bums on seats.'

Jimmy Carr

#23. I often pay homeless people to come round and clean my car.

Tara Palmer-Tomkinson